It’s Sunday afternoon and I am still in my PJ’s. My house is a mess and very dirty. It is beautiful outside but I am not taking advantage of it. I feel very lonely and so sad. I am 72 years old and I wish I would just die. There’s no reason for me to still be alive with the number of close death experiences I’ve had , e.g., 5 heart attacks, being in a 7 week coma, cancer, going septic and other stuff. I don’t have any children or husband or many friends. I’m on a modest fixed income so don’t have the budget for movies or eating out. My physical problems limit what I can do in nature.