drink

#52SmallThings

TW: drug abuse
My treatment for my condition is not going well, I'm on 8 months now of being so incapable I can barely leave the house. So were trying something new, I'm going on a 6 week health craze, strict dietary restrictions, supplements, all that organ cleansing stuff.
So, I need advice on what to do when I want to cave. I used to be addicted to hard drugs, extremely brief time period thank god, but enough for it to still be hard 2 years later. 2 years clean now (WOO! #Recovery ) I'm so proud of myself!!!!!! It's not often that it interferes with my life anymore, but it's still part of the daily struggle.
I havent gone 6 weeks straight without marijuana in a long time, i'm scared for the experience to come when I am going NUTS not being able to eat what I want (especially during the holidays!!!) and not being able to medicate while i'm in so much pain I can barely even walk. I'm 22 & for the past few years have spent new years eve dancing all night long at a music festival. All of my friends invite me out but I can barely even walk. Cooped up in a house all day, in constant physical pain all over my body, not able to eat a damn cookie, not even bread, no substance use or caffeine at ALL, and this human is the same human that hasn't used in over 2 years now?! I'm so crazy proud of myself.
What do u all do when u want to cave? Whether it's to #Selfharm #drink or #drugabuse or eat an unhealthy food or whatever? I need a release. I meditate and that helps with getting natural highs, but sometimes I'm just going crazy. Any suggestions on what to do in those moments? Wanting to cave & u need that release?