Today I am an empty shell, a soul gone quiet. I see glimpses of someone I used to be— your smile, your laughter, the warmth in my voice. But they feel like distant memories that don’t belong to me. If you're not here… then where did you go? The ache of where you once lived. Wherever you are— are you forever lost? Will you find your way back to me? #MentalHealth #BPD #Recovery #thestruggle
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Anyone else enjoying The Great Outdoors?!?!? 😄🌲🏕️ #Selfcare day #MentalHealth #BPD #Recovery
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Ever try to explain your thoughts and realize you just ended up oversharing by accident… again?
I’m a work in progress ❤️
#BPD #MentalHealth #Recovery
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So the #result of me using #Immediacy ended in an emotional #rupture , Which I am still #recovering 🤒 from but at least it showed👀 me the #patterns of #behaviour in others that remain the #same 💯 #lifelong #Autism #PTSD #Recovery 💝
6 reactions Right now I’m ok, I guess I’m ‘choosing’ to be ok, or deciding to focus on the parts that are ok. Even though nothing has changed externally, my situation remains the same, but I’m ok, because none of what’s hurt me was about me, sure I’ve made mistakes as every person does as we live and learn but what others did to me was more than a mistake, it was cruel, it was abuse, most of it was intentional, it was damaging, it was wrong and it should never have happened but the fact that it did is about them, not me! Yes, I was the one vulnerable to it all, I was the one who couldn’t protect herself, but these are not things I should be blaming myself for, most of the abuse and assaults happened in my childhood, any child would be vulnerable and struggle to protect themselves, it wasn’t a personal flaw or something I did wrong. I survived it all in the way my brain and body decided was best for me in the moment and each time that response was to freeze; be still, be silent, dissociate. I’ve been viewing myself as weak for doing that, but it wasn’t a ‘choice’, it was automatic and it’s purpose was to help me get through really distressing situations that I was unable to run away from or fight my way out of. I did everything I could have and I need to stop beating myself up for being human, for being a victim in the past, and for finding it all so hard to heal from. I am feeling like it’s unfair that I have to heal from it all, I don’t want to have to do so much work on myself or recover from all the things others did. I want to be free from it all, not have to heal from it. So yeah, I am sad, I am angry, and there’s a whole load of grief to untangle when I’m ready but I’m ok. Me, who I am, in my internal world - I’m ok!
#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Recovery #MentalHealth #Trauma
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I'm glad I checked out todays affirmation, needed this one. :]
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As I recover from persistent depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and perfectionism, I’ve found that my perspective has changed numerous times—shaping how I interact with myself, recognize my limits, consistently ask for help, prioritize my health, grow my empathy for myself and others, build community, and even foster my creativity.
Even though the process has been challenging and uncomfortable, I’m learning that it’s OK to make mistakes and express emotions like frustration, anger, and annoyance—without seeing them as negative or believing they make me a bad person. I’m still figuring out where I feel at home in the world and how to explore love more freely, but I’m willing to keep going because I know I deserve it.
What about you? How has your perspective on recovery changed?
#CheckInWithMe #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #Recovery #EatingDisorder #EatingDisorderRecovery #Addiction #AddictionRecovery #SubstanceRelatedDisorders #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Selfharm
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A month was yesterday since the end of a horrible traumatic period of my life, especially the last two years, with an extremely traumatic event, of losing a dear person to those who tormented me all this time. So how have I been doing since? I'm freed. It took time, but grateful to have nothing to do with these people again. And people can be saved only if they choose to. And I chose to.
And I am grateful to the amazing company I work for, And my coworkers. To my family And friends, to my activities. To you all for the support. And here is my #photodiary about the recovery.
1. To signify the end And also for security I painted my hair red. 2. My theology books. 3. My dance shoes 4. My town 5. My leotards And costumes 6. My pharmacy books 7. My sign of hope, the spider 8. My music instrument, 9. Part of my new tattoo.
#Trauma #Recovery #Gratitude #Survivor
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