Hi there 👋.
So I don’t have any professional supports, or even a diagnosed
#EatingDisorder (it’s a long story, including dismissal from professionals, invalidation of my concerns and friends accusing me of ‘wanting to have an ED’ 🙄 so ridiculous I can’t even explain how wrong this is) I’ve long believed I have an #EatingDisorder but because I can’t get help from professionals I’m trying to do this alone.
I don’t fit any of the ‘stereotypical EDs’ such as #AnorexiaNervosa #BulimiaNervosa #BingeEatingDisorder and I don’t count calories (which was the main basis that I was told by my doctors that I ‘don’t have an ED’) and would be closer to either #ednos or #arfid if I was to have a diagnosis. I don’t want another diagnosis, I have PLENTY. It’s not about that. But, at least if I did have a diagnosis, it would be easier to get help. Like I’d be able to say to someone ‘please help me with x’ and even here, I’d be able to use the hashtags most relevant! And this all makes it worse, because then I think ‘well if they say I don’t have a problem, then I mustn’t have a problem so it’s okay to continue what I’m doing’, which is damaging in itself.
So! I have a meal for lunch I have planned I need to eat. I’m doing this by myself, so it’s hard. I know I need to eat this food, I know it’s fuel for my body, I know I deserve to eat and I know that I am worth health and happiness. I know I am worth eating (that sounds weirdly phrased).
The meal only needs to be heated. And it’s been over two hours since I had planned to eat my lunch, and it’s still in the fridge. I don’t know how to get through the barrier of going through the process of having my meal. I don’t know how to get myself to open the fridge, pull out the meal, heat it, and then eat it. And because I’m trying to help myself, I don’t know what strategies would be best to use to help me through.
Does anyone have suggestions?
Thank you ❤️ (and thank you for reading this whole thing!)