Can you really get over child loss? Whether a child is 215 or still in the womb. Well yes those scenarios are very different the real difference is the fact… Two-year-old five-year-old 10-year-old got to spend time with their mother you got to know them you got to give them happiness in life. On the other side of the coin you have ectopic pregnancies miscarriages stillbirths. It’s in These losses that you never got to talk to your baby you never got to watch them crawl around on the floor or take their first bay up some food at the absolutely hate it in me that silly face. It’s in these losses that you spend day and night morning and day and night and morning wondering “why me”. It’s in these losses where are you may develop depression anxiety and so much more. My personal story is that I had not one but two ectopic pregnancies. My first was February 28, 2013 my second was December 17, 2014. My first ruptured at home, left over 3 L of blood in my stomach and the removal of my right fallopian tube. My second ectopic pregnancy I knew what was happening so I went to the hospital as soon as I knew something was wrong. When I got to the hospital the doctor did a ultrasounds because she wanted me to hear my baby‘s heartbeat. She informed me my baby seemed healthy however there was no saving my baby as they would have to terminate it in order to save my own life. They scheduled my surgery seven hours later. By hour two I felt the rupture and knew this was it. When my fiancé informed the doctor they did another ultrasound and informed me that yes it had ruptured therefore I would lose my left fallopian tube.

When you don’t have the money for in vitro how do you stay out of a depressive state of mind when all around you are children happy laughing playing. How do you grieve when all you ever wanted was to create a family. What is the appropriate way to act when you go to baby shower after baby shower, constantly have sisters sharing pregnancy news. While yes I am so unbelievably happy for them and I would never Be that dark cloud that’s raining at someone’s shower or somebody’s fantastic news at the same time it’s heart wrenching.

To anybody who has lost a child whether it be an ectopic or a miscarriage or a stillbirth end it ended in infertility, how do you get through, How do you roll through the motions every day while you watch your brothers your sisters your friends and just strangers laughing playing and talking to their children. How do you grieve? #Grief #EctopicPregnancy #Infertility #help #Depression