You can't forget the past; you are the past.
Someone in my family told me recently that she doesn't want to dwell on the past--as a way to not so subtly tell me to stop talking about our family dysfunction. In other words, they want to avoid the truth and color it with more dysfunction--this inability to say what it really is, feel how it really does.
There is a wall between us. The few people in my family that I still speak with think I should not discuss our history and move forward. I am sure that it's not possible to simply unwire the changes in my brain caused by longterm childhood physical abuse and emotional neglect. It's not a "mood" I'm in; it's the mind and body that developed as a result of environmental impact of my home life. This is the skin I'm in for life.
Instead, I believe we must move through life mindful of what makes us who we are, do our best to adapt, find self-acceptance as much as acceptance from others. It burns me that I can't shed my childhood, but, in truth, can anybody? We are a product of our experiences, like it or not, good or bad. We cannot shut out the past to build anew. It comes with us, inside us.
Please share your point of view.
#CPTSD #ComplexPTSD #familydysfunction #emotionalavoidance #CEN