The Value of Boundaries
The Value of Boundaries
Hi Mighties. I haven't been able to get on here much the past few months, our wifi hotspot died and we haven't been able to replace it.
So, long story short, my stepson hurt his eye about 2 and a half weeks ago, he's had 2 surgeries and a lot of doctor’s appointments since then (4 hours round trip to the university hospital), and its left me and my husband feeling completely drained.
But even before that, I was working on The Inner Child Workbook, but kind of got stuck on the first inner child. I was thinking I need to send my parents a letter or something (I told them not to contact me when I moved out Oct. of 2019 I think it was). But I have seriously mixed feelings about it. Its like I need them to know why I am mad at them, but at the same time I so don't want to open the door to them again. I think what I should do is keep doing the workbook but also work on a letter and if I feel like I get the letter just right, only then send it.
Thanks for listening all of you, it helps to know someone out there understands and sees this stuff.
Had a bad day yesterday, mad and annoyed at everything. Step son decided to end his counseling and hubby and I think he hasn't really been doing the work, or his counselor just wasn't giving him any. Also jealous that he can actually go see a counselor when I can't, but i know that's not fair to him. Was mad and annoyed at everything all day, so hubby was upset and woke up still upset. I feel guilty and bad. Ordered some books online last night; Whole Again, Reconciliation, and Inner Child Workbook. Just going to try and see which one works best for me, but they aren't coming till Tuesday at the earliest so just trying to breath and stay calm and not get caught in a spiral.
Btw, I'm so glad I found The Mighty and all you awesome people, just knowing I can talk to other people out there that understand helps me so much, so thank you all.
Continuing the cycle?
Hi, I'm new on the mighty and still figuring it out. I'm in my mid 30's and just the other day I read 21 things people don't know you do because you were emotionally abused, that's how I found the mighty, I was emotionally neglected growing up, didn't realize it till just recently and I am now emotionally neglecting my fiance even though I don't mean/want to, I don't know how to be emotionally supportive or even show my emotions without it lashing out of me. I just don't know how to be/show support. Growing up any kind of emotion was basically seen as unimportant and uncomfortable so I learned not to show them and keep them all inside, which is why I passive-agressively lash out. I've been looking into inner child work a little bit, but haven't done any of it yet. I guess I'm just hoping to get some advice and some sympathy because I already feel like a worthless burden to my fiance and on top of that I'm scared and mad at myself for taking it out on the man I love and not being able to be there for him like he deserves. Thanks for reading. #Childhoodemotionalneglect
What if I wasn't emotionally abused and I'm actually a narcissist?
Hi, I'm new to The Mighty and I'm still figuring it out but I felt like I needed some help. I recently read a story on here (that's how I found The Mighty) about 21 things people don't know you do because you were emotionally abused and it started me reading all this stuff and it all hits so close to home, but then last night trying to get to sleep it hits me that what if I wasn't emotionally abused and I'm just actually a narcissist because my fiance says that I'm not emotionally there for him and I belittle him even though I don't mean to? I brought it up to him and he says narcissists don't doubt themselves, but what if I am just trying to bring him down? I feel like I don't know what's true in my own head and I'm currently not in contact with any of my family so I can't run it by any of them. Does anyone else worry about this? #EmotionalAbuse #Childhoodemotionalneglect
POEM - quiet
Lower your voice
Don’t wake up daddy
You are too loud
You are too much
Always too much
And yet never enough
Little me learned to be quiet and happy and independent and helpful
Little me learned to put everything else away for later, but later never came
Little me learned to work hard and be good and clever, to be seen and praised and acknowledged
Little me grew up and she never knew what to do with angry and sad and frightened and disappointed
and then she forgot how to be truly happy too
Now she screams at the top of her lungs as she drowns
and no sound comes out
She is well and truly quiet
Descendents of holocaust survivors
I'm a third generation descendent of holocaust survivors.
This transgenerational trauma affected my sense of identity, sense of self, and crutial stages of emotional development.
I'm curious to connect with other 3Gen descendents, if there's anyone on here.
Deep inside me, beneath all the resentment and worthlessness lives the fear of disappearing completely... anyone else?
I want to specifically explore this fear, related to abandonment depression, but I can't find any resources. It's not a fear that people will leave, it's a fear that I will cease to exist, stop mattering all together, and become truly meaningless.