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Fighting the urge to allow certain ppl back into my life

I’ve fought hard to remove certain ppl from my life due to their negativity and using mentality. It was so hard to do in the first place, like to of killed me. Now, I feel so isolated and now I have this intense urge to contact them to see how they are doing. But, Ik if I do they will use it as a gateway back into my life and I’m not sure if that’s such a great thing for me. But, I feel like I “need” them, negative or not. I don’t have any kind of support system really... and it affects me everyday. But I try to remind myself why I separated from them to begin with but my mind is messing with me about it. It’s so hard to feel soo attached to ppl and like you can’t really let go. Even tho you know you need to do this for your own sake. I hate living like this, always second guessing every action I take. It’s like there is nothing concrete with me... it always changing. I just want to make a choice and be able to stand by it without my emotions controlling so much of my decision making process. Just really leaves you confused and uncertain of everything. #Emotionalconfusion #Unhealthy attachment #borderlinepersonality



I am so overwhelmed with my life. I don’t know what I’m feeling or why I’m crying. I must feel sad... maybe. #BPD