EmotionalEater

I’m just tired. Tired of the struggle.

Don’t worry, this is not a post about me banging on about health foods, specialist diets, or the latest food fads.

I’m also not going to post before and after pics, or those annoying status updates about how many steps I’ve achieved etc.

Because those people bore me.

I mean I get their proud of their achievements but I don’t want daily updates of their calorie counts or photos of their low-fat low-carb high-fibre rabbit food.

So why am I posting an status about the start of my weight-loss?

It’s about my mental health.

It’s about my possible sleep apnoea.

It’s about my emotional eating compulsion.

It’s about being able to hear a slight wheeze when I breathe.

It’s about being able to recognise my heart beat when I’m just sitting on the sofa.

It’s about badly spraining my ankle after falling in my living room - an injury in a long line of injuries which are inherently related to my large size causing extra strain on my physicality.

But above all it’s about regaining some control in a world that is spiralling out like a vortex.

I have always known that losing weight would help with each of my numerous health problems, but I have done nothing about it because, despite everything, I have no qualms with my physical body.

I don’t care about the stretch marks, the cellulite, the double chin, the spare tyres, or the boobs that never fit properly in to ANY bra.

If it’s a choice between a misery inducing diet, or a slice of cake...it’s cake.

Every time.

“Cake or death?” from the Eddie Izzard skit comes to mind, but now it has a whole new meaning.

The truth is, if I continue on as I am then I am only going to develop more health problems and exacerbate the ones I have.

So of that means being one of those boring calorie-counting rabbit-food dieters, at least I know how not to bore the pants off everyone around me by banging on about it.