sleep disorders

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    Scampy McScampFace’s Scamp Life

    Confidence is the preference for Scampy McScampface, a habitual voyeur of what is known as—Scamp Life!

    After Scamp has been rudely awakened he gets some exercise (in the country). At around 2pm, upon their return, Scamp and Little Brofur have their treats. Then, with full bellies they have their naps. So far, so good, cause I like to nap around then too. It gives me an enermous sense of well-being, know what I mean?

    However…

    A certain Scamp decides anywhere between 2-3pm onwards that he is feeling more awake; ergo it must dinner time—which unfortunately for him; is 4pm sharp. Thus begins “The Dance of The Scampy McScampface”… only far less sugar plum fairy like, and a bit more hippo 🦛

    Scamp starts off his dance in first position; which is to vigorously wag his tail at me while making engaging huffy noises. Second position involves rubbing himself up against my legs that go hand-in-hand with snorts and borks; ad libbed at his descretion. My job is to be a Tender participant in this elaborate jouer à joue which is the Duke’s ritualist way of conveying “I am awake; therefore I eat” (incidentally he is also a big fan of the pork life 😋)

    It all culminates in a pas de burrées of sorts with him launching himself into my lap, then looking up at me with his Scampy McScampFace full hope, of which I managed to catch a non Blur-ry picture today.

    I’m also pleased to confirm that Scampy McScampFace ate his dinner so he’s far less of a Beetlebum… for the next few hours at least 😆

    #Dogs #MightyPets #DistractMe #Laugh #funny #Fun #LifelimitingIllness #ChasingLife #TheDisabledLife #WhatWeLoveMostAboutLife #scamplife #MightyMusic #Music #Blur #Sleep #SleepDisorders #Insomnia

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    #Psychiatrist #dreams #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PTSD #AnxietyAttack #SleepDisorders #MentalHealth #Marriage

    Hi all! Hope everyone is well and safe 🙂 And taking good care of themselves.

    I really dont know who I can talk too except you all awesome people over here.

    I seen my doctor last week. He missed out a medication when I over to see him. When its the night, at around 8+pm, I was about to take my night medication and retire for the night, I found out one of the medication was missing and thats was my sleeping aid.

    There is no way I could get to him, expect writing to him. I thought he wanted to stop me for that medication as I am starting work next Monday.

    So, I just wrote to him and I went to have my shower.

    He wrote to me and called me from his clinic.

    He send the medication down personally to my home. He asked me whether my husband will throw a tantrum or get upsets if he does so. I said no ( this is as I have shared alot of my issues between me and husband with him. My age gap with my husband is 17 years. I am his 2nd wife)

    He bumped into my husband at the carpark. As he asked which block is mine located at. My husband then asked him is he my doctor. My husband said is okay, he can take it from there and he will bring the medication up to me.

    But my doctor insisted on walking my husband up to my unit and passed it personally to me.

    To be honest, I’m really touched by his gesture as it was coming to midnight then.

    I dont like and have the habit of troubling people when I can pick it up tomorrow from the clinic as I will be near.

    I told the doctor that I can picked it up tomorrow from the clinic. He said its alright and its not right for me to pick it up as its his fault.

    I have this dream of going through a very long and dimmed tunnel, with just a torch in hand. I had to crawl, for what I remember for around 10-15 minutes to the end. The one receiveing me at the end is a new doctor at his practise ( which is a female doctor ) she then helped me out from the tunnel and handed me to my doctor.

    My doctor then asked me can i hold your hand? I said yes of course. And we started chatting while we are spinning? ( sounds dramatic) and it ended up with me hugging him with a arm at his waist. He kept talking about all my problems which I am facing and he said he will take good care of me. While at the other end, his nurses all are staring at me with envy.

    I have issues with my husband, we are not intimate for around a year. He has problems lasting or rather getting it up. It really turns me off. I told him to seek professional help. He scolds me and said it is a shame to speak to a doctor and seeking help for that issue. I no longer feel close to him. I no longer hold or hug him. He disgusts me. I no longer wear my wedding ring on my finger- the reason i gave him, my fingers are bloated. I know i am not attracted as compared to me in my 20s. But at least i make an effort to dress and look good when i go out. He doesnt.

    I dont bring him and hang out with my friends. As most of my friends spouses are around my age range. My husband temper is getting from bad to worst and i dont know why.

    Only a few of my best friends have met him. As for the rest of my friends. They know that I am married, as for who is is my husband, still remains a mystery.

    Thank you for hearing me out ❤️ stay safe!

    #Psychiatrist #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #SleepDisorders

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    #PTSD #migriane #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PanicDisorder #PanicAttack #Anxiety #Depression #SleepDisorders

    Good Day everyone! I hope everyone is safe and well!

    My work is getting stressful and my boss is getting ridiculous as the days goes by. He is just a year older than my husband. Sometimes i wonder isit my zodiac sign and his are mismatch which explains why me and him cant communicate and understand each other at all. - thats to make myself feel better?

    He requested to meet up in the office today. But he is down with covid for a second time. ( how unlucky this fellow can be. Within the span of 6 months? Looks like he need to carry some lucky charm or something? ) I texted him and asked him whether is the meet up still on on Saturday evening (just in case later i get the blame for not taking initiative to ask him first.) he says he is still positive, therefore meeting will be via zoom today at 1pm. So, at around 12.50pm, i send him the documents via whatsapp and the zoom password to enter the meeting.

    He then ignore it and text me via whatsapp and then ask me to call him. He told me it is inconvenient for him to speak on the phone via whatsapp call, but can speak via normal voice call.

    He then never gave me a chance to speak the moment he picked up the phone and started his nonsense. He said i should stop taking in sales which my current client refer. I should take in other new sites. I told him, I did but its all a matter of time. We are dealing with services with commitments and its on contract terms, minimum with a year of services rendered,not some retail product sales.

    He said you have been in for 4 months plus and just brought in a yearly revenue of $400K+ . I am loss for words. To be honest, in role at my industry, we will not bring in any sales to the company til we feel that the company is capable of handling our accounts. We will monitor the operations support and the back up team.

    Over here, there is no operations support. Total mess, no HR support, no Finance support, no Admin support, like what a proper organisation should have. My colleague ( 1 particular guy) he cant get along with me and same here. In my previous jobs, I get along very well with my team as we know and understand, we are a team and we cant do without each other. But this guy is selfish and he even offended my client.

    My client complained to me when I went to have a meeting with him. My client said he is very inexperienced. (Which i agree) His attitude is ‘Mr Smart Alex’ and ‘Mr I know it all’

    I told my client, if you want a change in personnel, please write in and copy my boss in it. He screwed up my account and now for this month, I dont know how much damages charges will be deducted from my invoice. This in return will affect my commission payout.

    I totally cant communicate with him. In his role, he should forsee and plan what is going to happen and maintain a good relationship with the staff on ground. I cant meddle with operations stuffs, if not my boss will come screaming at me.

    I wish i could do everything by myself. But it is not my job scope anyway. I only do how much I am being paid. The more i care, the more i will feel so sickening why I got to work with such people.

    My boss attitude is seriously stupid. Sorry to say that. Even when i am on medical leave. He can text me and ask me to reply to his mail or clients mail. Client can text or write to me and say its okay, take care and reply when you are back as nothing is urgent.

    I dont know what he wants. I feel like telling him off. By asking him, he will say you should know, if i didnt ask him, he would say why you didnt update me.

    Its really tiring and mentally draining working for such people.

    My client told me - “ i award my site and other accounts to you is not because of your boss or your team, is because of you. Because i know you will take good care of my account” He told me please dont jump ship before my contract with your company ends.

    This is really bad for my mental health. I am screaming and shouting every night at sleep. I dont want to go out anymore. To me, I feel so tired and sick.

    I always get a panic attack wherever i see my boss text or mail. I always get so irritated when his name appears on my phone or my inbox.

    By the rate this is going, I’m afraid the salary which I am earning will be all used for anti depressants and sleep aids.

    I am holding on is because i get to work at home. I only head out when I need to meet clients. But whenever I need to do presentations or speak in a setting with many audience, no one knows, I am taking my anti anxiety medicine. Only my husband and my doctor knows about it. Without it, I will slutter and my heart will feels like its coming out and I will start to shake badly and i will be sweating like i just completed a marathon.

    Its really not easy to be me.

    I was put on 2 weeks rest by my psychiatrist. During the 2 weeks, i feel so relax, doing the things i like and spending time with my husband.

    But the moment i know i need to head back to work, my heart sank and anxiety is back.

    My medical certificate did not indicate it was from a psychiatrist. If ever my boss ever googled the doctor’s name. I will be screwed. Seriously, all my hard work will be gone.

    The stigma of seeking help here is…. considering weak, crazy and you are not good at managing your own emotions.

    But no one knows, how much i went through, and how much courage it took for me to see a psychiatrist.

    Thank you everyone who read this and this get off my chest.

    Please stay safe and take good care of yourself

    #MentalHealth
    #mentalhealthmatters
    #Anxiety
    #MajorDepression
    #MajorDepressiveDisorder
    #PanicAttack
    #PanicDisorder
    #SleepDisorders
    #PTSD

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    #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #AnxietyAttack #PanicAttack #Depression #SleepDisorders #Job #MentalHealth

    Hi everyone! I hope all of you are safe and well wherever you are. My psychiatrist gave me a 10 day medical leave and I just got back to work yesterday. During the medical leave, my panic attacks and anxiety is still managable as I need not face my unreasonable boss and my smart alex colleague. As i am the only female in the whole department, they are like having some sexiet problem. I am in a male dominated industry, with 12 years of experience. But my smart alex colleague doesn’t seem to know what is to work as a team and always make things difficult. When he doesnt perform, my client will write or call me and make a fuss. As an Accoutnt Manager, I need to keep in check, the interest of my client and the service level rendered. With the amount they are paying every month. I just sealed a deal 2 months back, and my client just told me, I gave the deal to your company is not because of anything. Is because you are my Account Manager. Please dont leave the company before my contract ends with your company.

    My boss is ridiculous. He is rude. I will keep him updated on whatever proposal and upcoming projects that we are going to work on. He is kind of flicker minded. When i update him what is going on, he will reply “no need to tell me, you know how to manage” when i dont, he will say “ why didnt you tell me” hard to please yeah?

    He wanted to set up a meeting with me during my medical leave. So he text me during my medical leave and it was on a weekend. I said let me get back to work and settle my important appointments first then i will get back to you. He replied “ i thought you would take the initiative to approach me and set up a date?” I was like….? I am in still on medical leave. And he send another text, “ I think you should manage your time, not only you are busy, everyone is busy too” i am loss for words. Its still 4-5 days more before my medical leave ends.

    He expects me to visit my clients and reply to every single mail when i am on medical leave? If thats the case, i rather cancel my medical leave and get back to work. I myself know that i am not in a good state to work then.

    Seriously, this is draining me. I need to keep going til mid next year til my client contract ends before i could get a new job or head over to my competitors.

    I am just delivering my duties thats all. I guess I be better off at my competitors, at least without a boss like him.

    I am worried now that he will goggle or search for my doctor’s name. And….. everything will come to light that i am seeing a psychiatrist. As mental health is still a stigma.

    Sigh. I am really drianed. I am so tired of working especially the thought of seeing him. Lucky i got to work hybridity, if not i think it will be worst.

    But his mails and texts will drive me up the wall. And make my panic attacks go hay wire. At times, it gets so bad that my hands and feets gets cold and shake so badly. And its out of my control. I will start to question myself. Am i at fault? What did i do again? I must be f****** stupid! Sigh

    Then my speech will start to slutter and my heart will feel like its coming out from my body.

    Am i really that useless?

    #AnxietyAttack #PanicAttack #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PTSD #PosttraumaticStressDisiroder #MentalHealth #Job #Anxiety

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    I failed my sleep test

    I had to do a sleep test at home, I couldn't sleep... Not even an hour. I'm usually a big sleeper. 😔 What happens next? Will I get another test scheduled? I'm afraid the doctors will let me down.

    #SleepDisorders #Sleep #lonely #ChronicFatigue

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    #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #SleepDisorders

    Hi guys! I am a business development manager or account manager who manages clients and bring in new accounts for the company. I brought in a new contract for my company in less than 3 months after joining. My operations team cant deliver what the contract states. And I got to manage my client.

    So today while I am with my boss alone. He told me to stop being so immature and stop thinking about the needs of my clients. If there is a need to cut cost, let my client know and dont quote to their request.

    And I was like….? That dont sound responsible. And he tells me stop thinking for others?

    So, in the first place why bring me on board when one of my role is to bring in more revene for the company?

    Am i being immature for thinking on the perspective of my clients?

    I always build a very good rapport with my clients til they introduce me new clients and we become friends.

    I dont get it? Why he need to use the word on me. Immature? That hurts. I am a veteran in the industry with 11 years of experience.

    It makes me dont want to communicate with any of my colleagues or him anymore now.

    Sucks.

    #PTSD #Anxiety #Selfblame #PanicAttacks #Selfesteem #Selfworth #MajorDepressiveDisorder #sleepdisorder

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    Equal Consideration. Is there such a thing where a chronic, invisible illness exists?

    So, tonight my neighbour asked me to keep the noise down, via text message (specifically, to stop playing my piano at around 11/11.30pm, the one and only time I’ve ever done it for 5 minutes! ) because she had to be up at 5am for a 12 hour shift the next day. This is a reasonable request, I know, and I would not want to keep anyone from sleeping, knowing just how awful sleep depravation is, but I toyed with how I should respond to the text message she sent me, because I’ve been struggling with the amount of noise she has created, with no forewarning, since she moved in last autumn and I’ve never mentioned anything, mainly because I felt it wasn’t fair, or reasonable, for me to pass on my lifestyle issues and needs, onto her.

    I have fibromyalgia/CFS which in itself, causes sleep issues as well as all the other lovely symptoms we know about. I also have sleep apnea, daytime sleepiness and Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder (DSPD), hyper mobility, IBD, overactive bladder, Ankylosing Spondylitis, Arthritis in my lower spine and fingers, tenosynovitis in my thumbs and frequent migraines. I also have to deal with anxiety, PTSD and depression.

    My body clock doesn’t work to the GMT timeline I physically live in and no one is more aware of that than I am. So, when I’m awake all night and sleeping during the day, I don’t expect the rest of the neighbourhood to keep quiet for me. I suck it up, when my neighbour decides to knock out their old kitchen and put a new one in from 8am to whenever-o-clock for days and weeks on end. Or, when they need to build and put up a new adjoining fence, which takes every weekend, over 6 weeks to do. When they are getting up around 5 and I can hear her in her bathroom/ bedroom using hair dryer and banging her wardrobe doors, metal coat hangers on metal poles and finally the front door, which is particularly loud as she seems to need to bang it shut. I have the same door mechanism and have no trouble closing my door and locking it, quietly. I make the adjustments I need to make to help me block out the noises and light that happen during the daytime when I’m finally getting off to sleep.

    I am constantly aware of the noise levels I may be creating at between 12 - 5/6am and make sure the tv volume is low and minimise my movements and activities, so I’m not disturbing anyone else. Anything up to that time, I believe, is fair for me to try to live as normal a life as I can and constantly crave. Also, noting that I often sleep during the late afternoon/early evening too, which, again, limits my movements and activities during normal living hours.

    I’m aware, of course, that it’s not reasonable for me to play my piano during the small hours and I would never do that. It is one of the few pleasures I have, since developing fibromyalgia et al, as I took up piano a few years into developing my disabilities. Having to give up so many other things, like cycling, dancing, my job, going out whenever and wherever I wanted to, my driving licence for 4 years, not to be deterred from still having some semblance of an enjoyable life, I decided to focus on things that I could do. As time has gone on, the arthritis and tenosynovitis in my hands has also limited my piano playing too. After all the adjustments and adaptations I’ve put in place, It still feels like my world and my life has and is, being taken away, bit by bit and made smaller and smaller, but again, I would never expect other people to change their world to accommodate mine. I would expect some empathy and understanding from people though!?

    Therefore, is it unreasonable for me to point out to my, requesting-me-to-keep-the-noise-down neighbour, the issues I have personally and therefore, with her noise creations too, seeing as she’s brought it up?

    My son believes I’m being unreasonable. This was hard to swallow from such a close family member (but I’m kinda used to negative responses from close family members, to be honest). Seems, because her need is work related, that makes her request more reasonable than mine. (ie., Her needs are justifiable in expecting other people to fall in line with her requests and passing on her lifestyle issues, is okay, reasonable and justifiable). So maybe, if I was a nightshift worker that would give my grievances and needs credibility, otherwise I’m unreasonable. It seems needing to be a human with normal, basic human needs, trying to live as normal a life as possible, in order to try to keep her mental health in check, doesn’t qualify for any recognition, validation or, empathy unless you’re a functioning employed person. Trying to be a functional human being means nothing. I call that inequality, what would you call it?
    #Fibromyalgia #FibroFog #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth #Anxiety #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #SleepDisorders #AnkylosingSpondylitis #Arthritis

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    YET AGAIN……. Another #sleepless night! #Insomnia

    I know #Insomnia & other #SleepDisorders are no party, but no one ever tells you how dark and lonely these long nights can be! Its so quiet. And particularly if you have #Anxiety or other #r #MentalHealth issues, silence can be our worst enemy. Love to all who have to battle hard all night, just to try and sleep. Xx