Judgemental
Ugh, sometimes I think the stereotypes aren't out there as much anymore but then I have a day like today, where I feel judged and discriminated against just for trying to advocate for myself.
I have to plan my life around when my body cooperates and as such, today ended up being the first day in over a week that my pain wasn't an 8 or higher, so I finally figured I could maybe handle grocery shopping which I tend to put off a lot because it is SO HARD!
I did everything right to 'prepare' myself--rested for the morning, took my pain meds, used my cane and wore my earplugs. I also usually go to the same store because Im used to it.
Today that turned out to be a horrible mistake and the whole experience kinda crushed me. First of all, the store was WAY busier than normal, I had to park further away and walk further. Aisles were crowded and noises and my symptoms did a big jump right when I first arrived--if I was smart I wouldve taken this as a clue and just left but I tried to stay an tough it out.
My brain and my body shut down though and I was barely still standing when it came time to check out. This is where everything fell apart. I went to choose a line and they told me I would have to go to the back of a long singular line and wait to be directed. I felt like passing out and was already close to a breakdown so I asked if I could just wait near the tils until my turn-I was promptly told absolutely not because everyone had to wait. I made it to the end of the line but had to sit on the floor because I couldnt stand any longer. I was just so done and overwhelmed and hurt by the fact that I was treated as an inconvenience and no effort was made to accommodate me--because I "look too young" to need a cane.
When will people learn that looks do not determine pain or illness and age does not define how someone feels.
I might be overreacting but I feel more should be done to assist someone who is so clearly struggling.
#ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue #groceryshopping #Cane #Fibro #Migraine #dizzy #Discrimination #everyonedeservesdignity #igiveup