I struggled to get out of bed this morning. My back ached and my head felt heavy. But I needed to get up and get ready for school. I felt some of my depression kick in because I was starting to feel frustrated about waking up in pain yet again. It’s exhausting waking up as if your body got no rest.
I didn’t wake up feeling too great. I didn’t consciously think to myself that I am going to have a productive day despite my rough morning.

There are countless days depression has seeped into my mind and caused my judgment, thoughts, and feelings to become clouded and dark. I know that darkness is not who I am.
Depression has the power to contaminate my thoughts and make me believe I am going to have a bad day, but here’s the amazing thing... I am stronger than my and those negative thoughts. Of course, there are some days I may not have the energy to fight it, and I think that’s okay. But, today, I have the strength to get myself out of the darkness.
Maybe I didn’t wake up and start with good intentions, but I can change that at any moment.

Recentering myself, taking a few deep breaths and remembering my resilience, I am starting the rest of my day with good intentions.
I intend to work to the best of my ability. I intend to complete the work I must do for school. I intend to be kind to myself. I am not lazy or careless or irresponsible. I am stronger than my illnesses. I am stronger than my obstacles.
I am a warrior.

While I am proud to feel myself fighting what could have been a bad day, these are all conditional. Being kind to yourself means understanding your body and mind. Sometimes you don’t have the energy, motivation or ability to fight against all the darkness, negativity and pain.
As a reminder to myself & anyone who needs it: it is okay to rest and take a break. Don’t beat yourself up for not finding your way out of a bad day. Don’t compare to how you were able to just change your mindset and start feeling better—it doesn’t always work.
If you have a bad day, it’s still okay. Just do what you can to be good to yourself. A bad day doesn’t mean a bad life. Don’t give a bad day more weight than it deserves.
Do what you can and remember that you’re not alone. You can try again tomorrow.

I don’t know what path my thoughts were going on here, but I wanted to share my experience of having the strength to change my mindset midday and start again with good intentions.

#Depression #Anxiety #Fibro #Fibromyalgia #GoodVibes #GoodIntentions #warrior #fibrowarriors #FibroCHRONICals