warrior

#Open #caring #loving #Healing #Inspiring

Be that light that shines so bright!

While people fight in order to take flight!

Shine with all your might!

Never doubt yourself!

Swim like a trout!

This is a love about!

So scream and shout!

Let IT all out!

You will never doubt!

This is all for you!

Love you!

#warrior #Survivor #Motivater #helper

Pain is her muse. Her pain is not just for show. In her darkest days.. she cries, but she also laughs. She wants to experience joy unspeakable. She wants to do what is right, but her rebel heart will not stay silent. She carries on, but she also carries through… straight through the deepest and hardest pains. They call her a “martyr” but do they know where she’s been? Have the same demons taunted them? Have they fought those same demons and won? Have they gotten past their own hurt and heartache? Or just looking to fix me, solve me, like a Sunday morning crossword puzzel? Of course there is always a solution, a quick fix, a simple answer.. of course, she carries around these bag of rocks just to cast them at others… of course. Who the fuck (oh, lauguage please) does she think she is? She’s a martyr not a saint. She’s a folly. She’s an Enigma. But no.. don’t trust a word she says… her folly is that she will love that which brings her pain, she will cut herself, and ask why she is bleeding, she will walk right into fire, and laugh because she likes the flames. No, she is not to be trusted. “That chick is crazy”, and maybe so... her folly is in the flames. Her folly is that she was hurt so bad she has fallen in love with the pain. Don’t you go and try to whisk her, she’ll just cut you, and fall and fall and fall over again. She cannot be saved. We all fall short. We all tried to help her. She is so damn beautiful, but she’ll never fall out of love with the pain.

She whispers, pain no more. The demons they laugh, “Let’s give her another blow.” She’s cries out to the heavens as her world trembles. The audience watches. They do not know what to say. ”What’s wrong with you?” “Get it together.” “ Be strong.” “Stop being so damn negative.” “Watch your laugauge, please!” “Martyr!” “Do you know how many people love you?” “Do you know how many people who be hurt if you were gone?” She whispers.. pain.. “What did you say?” “Can you speak a little louder?”… pain…”What are you talking about?”… She sighs… she attempts to push the pain down… smoke another cigarette.. take another pill… the demons they laugh at her… “We got her good this time.” The demons think she doesn’t know them by name, but she know each and everyone of them all too well. She may not beat them today, but she will again ignore them. Because she knows her God, she knows… her creator. She knows THIS life is brief, and but a fleeting moment. Pain now… but earthquake tomorrow, and her mountain will rise. She will come out stronger. She will rise once more. She is NOT a dumpster fire, but a multidimensional firery Phoenix. She will rise with her Golden Wings. She will rise and take back everything stolen from her. She will rise and fall into the arms of her creator, with peace, joy, happiness, and orgasmic relief. She has fought the good fight. She has won the good battle. She has won the WAR. God blesses her, and she is relieved. She fights no more. He covers her with his shroud, dresses her with gold and pearls, he calls her blessed and rewards her for her good deeds, he bathes her scars and wounds, he tends to her every hurt and comforts her. He lays her heart before Him, and stands watch that noone ever, ever lays a hand on her emotions again. He builds her up, and then sets her free on her new mission. She is a Healer. She will set the captives free and defend the broken hearted. Now and forever. Amen.

The pains grows. Is this what it’s like to be human? Lord, in another life I pray to be invincible. I pray to no longer feel hurt or remorse. I pray to be free. This life. This life has bound me...to sadness, to grief, to joy, followed by sharp spears to my gut. I cannot be happy. Life laughs when I’m happy. It makes fun of my folly. It says who are you to be happy? Who are you to feel joy? You are nothing but damaged goods. Who are you to be comforted when you feel weak? Who are you to be loved by all? You’re bad. You’re selfish. You’re weak. You pathetic little thing. Hope? You naive little fuck up. You’re not worth it. Creating cases in my head they say… but I’ve already been locked up and the demons never bothered to make a key. Does my depression scare you? This depression, it was attached to be ever since the day I was born. There is no escaping it. There’s only acceptance that I was born this way. Born to struggle, born to feel pain, and born to never be free. And.. there will never be enough of anything to comfort me.

I always thought I was the only one till I read peoples post gosh really is ungodly day to day but really minute to minute Thanks for the join. Mel #Spoonie #Breathe #warrior #fighter