I feel as though I'm not a good mother because I struggle to understand my own head and I'm scared my illness will affect my children and that I may cause them as adults to suffer with mental health, I love my babies and some days I just cant function but I scrape through for my boys and once there in bed I cry and cry and cry and fall asleep and that's when the nightmares start I want someone to empty my head of all this shit and just let me be a good mum to my children I get told I'm a good mum but I dont feel like it and it's really tormenting my head most days I dont want to be here