In this photo I’m feeling a lot of emotions going on right now. Anger, pain, heartbreak, sadness, tired, misunderstood, and alone.
Though I’m wearing makeup I’m finding it hard to keep it together. I’m on the verge of tears. I’m at a loss for words.
This past week has just been hard and this week doesn’t look like it’s getting any better.
I’m challenging myself to get better about sharing/opening up. I have no idea why I have these ideas or moments of “clarity” when I feel as if I’m looking over the edge of a cliff mentally.
Probably experienced the worst #trigger I’ve had ignited in months. My mind automatically jumps into protection mode and I go #numb. That works for a little while and then I get to the point I’m at now. All of my emotions start to bubble up and I feel like everything and anything is about to set me off. The numbness is no longer as strong and I feel raw. Someone just cancelled plans with me. Plans that I saw as an escape from reality. She cancelled for good reason but I instantly broke down.
I’m currently going on about three months of #emdr and I’ve definitely had some breakthroughs but it has been hell...I’m hopeful and the fact that I’ve seen improvement in anything is insane to me. At the same time I think it has made me more hypersensitive/aware of myself and that in itself has brought on so much concussion on what I feel or think I should feel. I don’t even know where I was going with this but I just needed to “talk” #HighFunctioningAnxiety #Depression #CPTSD
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