numb

So I took the step to stop drinking alcohol a few months ago as it wasn't helping with my mood, depression, anxiety etc. I was effectively self medicating with alcohol. I feel better to some extent now that I've stopped, but now I'm feeling quite numb and I guess I used to turn to alcohol or self harm to feel something, i'm actively trying to not self harm and alcohol is 100% out of the question but not really sure how to get out of this feeling. Has anyone else experienced this? Or have any healthy coping mechanisms to get out of a numb, depressive slump? #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #numb #Selfharm

Had my counseling appointment, it went okay. We discussed things if I don't feel I can keep myself safe, the mammogram (not scheduled yet), #Selfharm stuff, #SuicidalIdeation stuff and things.
I kinda want to self-harm now, #Depression is high. Trying to motivate myself to do stuff. I'm really depressed and don't know why 😔 counseling didn't help too much. I feel like my life is one big distraction lately.
I miss my grandma a lot 😭 she died in 2019, she was more of mom than my mom could be it seemed. It's better now with my mom, a lot better but I can't discuss mental health issues with her or any other family members really. I didn't really with my grandma but I knew she loved me unconditionally and we agreed more on a lot of things.
My case manager called from my doctor's office about a different rheumatologist. Having issues getting in with one. She also called me back cause I called her about the depression and stuff, I don't know how that made me feel. I'm kinda numb and have fibro fog badly. Everything seems at an arms length and I'm disassociating a tad. I'm not doing great.

#Anxiety #PTSD #FibroFog #Fibromyalgia #numb #Update #Grief

I don’t want to be here. And I don’t want to hear about all the things I can do to practice gratitude or the people I will be hurting.

My panic attacks have me by the throat. I fight every fucking day to just make it through. I do it all. Medicine, therapy, breathing, walks, talking about it with family, completed an IOP… all of it.

I was in the hospital for 2 weeks a couple months ago. Got that support.

NOTHING IS HELPING. I hate waking up. I hate putting on a front. Nothing brings me joy. I’m completely numb. Wish I was exaggerating, Really wish I was.

This sadness is slowly tearing me apart and feeding the black hole inside of me.

Sending love and the biggest hug who might be feeling any of this too. #Agoraphobia #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #numb

I am so overwhelmed. I want to talk about so many things that are bothering me. But I just can't. I am totally numb. My eyes do not even have #a single drop of tear right now. I can't cry anymore although I want to do so, soo badly.
I hate my weak and useless self.

#numb #nothingness #Emptiness

I hate being numb all the time. Life just seems like it is passing by and I barely feel anything other than anxiety and sadness. Everything seems grey. No colour. No excitement. It's like I live with headphones. I basically stop hearing and stop processing what's going around me. Especially when I'm with other people or when I'm driving. I keep on forgetting things and zoning out. I think Ive been emotionally dead for so long that I don't even know what living is. I'm broken. I'm trapped in my head and I don't know how to get out. People call me quiet but they have no idea. This has been going on for so long that I just feel like failed in life. I know other people would only wish to be alive (ex.physically sick people)and I'm here not wanting anything to do with life and I'm just wasting it. Letting it apss by. #Depression #SuicidalThoughts #SuicidalIdeation #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Dissociation #numb #sad

I’m living with chronic intense spine pain with nerve damage and muscle atrophy in my lower body. Just a few weeks ago I was in a wheelchair for eleven days straight and could not walk at all. I haven’t been able to do anything besides the bare basics of caring for myself and my pup. Yes, the bare basics. I’m not in a wheelchair right this minute but I cannot walk without my rollator or walker with my attached cane. It’s been that way for a long time now, years.

Anyway, I’m trying to walk (via walker) and track my steps, push myself a little more each day.

The pain, burning and numbness take over my body and I have to stop repeatedly to bend my spine forward and relieve the pain and pressure, ease the burning. It’s horrible and the pain sucks but still, I want my life back and I’m not going down without a whole lot more fighting (again). Yes, I’ve been living with chronic pain my entire adult life, so it’s been an ongoing battle for years.

The problem I’m having right now and daily is: when I’m pushing for mobility and trying to save my lower body (mid spine to feet) from being permanently paralyzed I’m fighting nerve damage that only relieves with ice for hours (mid to low spine and bum and hips) but muscle spasms that only relieve with heat (legs/feet).

Just exactly how much muscle spasms/spasticity is too much and how do I know if I’m pushing way too much or just not enough? I’m really not knowing and I know if I don’t keep fighting and just stay in whats comfortable and least painful I won’t be out of the wheelchair very long. Any tips, advice? I welcome them all please. This pain is making me a little bit nuts and I’m using ice and heat at the same time to combat the different parts and symptoms on my lower body. I’m exhausted and frustrated to say the least. #ChronicPain #FailedBackSurgery #Nervedamage #DDD #Osteoarthritis #spinestimulator #migratedleadwire #Exercise #Neuropathy #MuscleWasting #Tremors #numb #tingling #Burning #Spasticity #musclespasms #mobility #Fibromyalgia

I did have optimism when I was younger but that’s probably because youth came with immaturity and a sense of being naive. Fast forward to the present time, I feel completely different due to many life’s circumstances and changes. My nonchalant attitude and numbness to everything has taken me out of life’s reality for the most part.

Now I feel comfortable in my depression and don’t want to let it go. I’m not sure if I should navigate through this or just let it be?
#Depression #numb #hopeless #MensMentalHealth