Stuck #Depression #Anxiety #regret #Loneliness #Hatemyjob
I’ve spent 13 years in a career that has become increasingly draining. It’s never been an easy job, but it just keeps getting worse. Demands increase; pay doesn’t. People in my line are expected to work miracles, and even when we come very close to doing so, the praise is either brief of nonexistent. Criticism is rampant. Everything is our fault.,We give and give, and there’s never an “off-the-clock” moment. We’re always expected to be “on.”
Clearly I’m unhappy with my job choice. The thing is, I’m not dumb. I could probably do something different. But I don’t have the funds to go back to school. I am afraid to start over. I’m afraid of taking a risk. I have a family, bills, and starting over again at 38 makes me feel like I’ll never get to retirement. I’ve never worked in another line of work, and the older I get, the less likely it is that I’d be hired to do anything else. I never expected to HATE my job this much.
I was 7 years old when I nearly died. Since then, I am alive thanks to medical and technological advancements. I am lucky. And I should be doing more with this life I’ve been given. I should be traveling, living where and how I want to live. I should have friends and do the things I love—if I can remember what those things are.
I feel stuck. I feel alone. I have regrets. I need courage.