ifeelworthless

× " My Dissociation Keep's Spinning... I Was Doing Well Yesterday. Sunday Thier Was A Tornado. I Was Safe...I Have Been Through It In The Midwest Before. But It Didn't Help My Anxiety Much When People Are Freaking Out Around Me. The Sky Wasn't Dark Yes It Was Windy Af. But Nothing Was Damaged Around Where I Stay. A Few Place's Were Damaged. I Went Into Work Yesterday. But I Wasn't Sure If I Had The Day Off. My Boss Was Like Oh Sweety I Gave You The Day Off. I'm Just Glad That My Co-worker's x My Boss Were OK And The Building Wasn't Damaged. I Came Back Home Having Anxiety Attack Even Though I Helped My Boss Set Up Tortilla Tray's... For The Day. I Felt Incomplete x And Incompetent That I Didn't Compelete Anything. So I Came Home And Cleaned 4 Room's. In This Loud House. And Washed The Dishe's x Vaccumed The Living Room. Now I Felt Like I Did Work. But Never Get A Thank You! At My Job I Feel Appreciated Atleast. × Respected...#Intrusive Thought's#ifeelworthless ☆ S.K. ☆

There’s a lot of evidence that nobody likes me. I only have two friends that communicate with regularly, and I find myself avoiding them a lot because I’m so sad.
I’ve spent my whole life with a mask on—everyone I’ve ever asked thinks of me as “happy” and that I apparently have a great laugh. Weird, I know. Anyway, I’ve had a brutally difficult year. And instead of asking me if I’m ok, everyone just ignores me. especially my family. nobody wants to be around me because I’m so sad. but I’m so sad that I can’t be with people without getting upset & crying & just “losing it”.
What do I do? Nobody seems to even want to give me a chance. 😭

I bought my husband a new tv for his birthday. It was a very good 40 in smart TV for just 100.0.0.0 on Ebay. I thought he would be doubly happy to get a nice smart tv and for a great price. Instead he berated me and said if he wanted a TV, he would get one that was better. He said I was stupid. I feel alone and unloved/unlovable. I do everything he wants and it is never enough.
#CheckInWithMe