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    Ending Relationships

    Is there a point in which you cannot save a relationship? A few years ago I cut a family member out of my life, she was abusive and toxic. I tried many times to understand her and be respectful. All the while being emotionally abused. Though I did not know it at the time-until now in which I am dealing with the after effects. One of them being #PTSD . I also suffer from low self-esteem, low self-worth and a lack of self respect. It pains me to realize that I had to do that but I came to the realization she is bad for my mental health. I had to cut her off which used to cause me to grieve. Now, I realize that some relationships cannot be saved. Even if they are family. In families there should be no toxicity and certainly no abuse of any kind. Spoke about this in therapy and learned from my group mates that I need to prioritize myself and advocate for myself. The problem is that it is hard for me. I am so used to put everything and everyone ahead of myself. I operate out of fear of conflict and upsetting people. I want to stop acting out of fear. I know this takes time but it frustrates me that the fear gets in the way. I just want to be able to act from a place of self respect. Remember that it is okay to cut toxic people out of your life, especially if they are being abusive or toxic. Do not let people tell you that you have to tolerate that behavior. It's okay to protect your mental health.

    #EmotionalAbuse #PTSD #Abuse #abusesurvivor #Toxic #Family #Relationships #Healing


    Had a great thanksgiving With our family

    Had a great time with our family
    Good wine food family critters
    With fur paws that bark too
    3 of them right now westing
    One is on my foot of my bed in
    My bedroom
    She doing dog yoga
    All paws upright
    Tummy rub in the sun

    Have a blessed Friday afternoon
    And rest of the weekend
    Too everyone be loved
    And safe too ❤️🇼🇸☮️🌈😀🇼🇸
    #CheckInWithMe #Family #


    Mentality- That's What It's About

    Last night, I was taught a harsh truth. One that I was't prepared to hear but a truth nonetheless. I know I wrote about the sadness of coming from a broken family, but after much thought that truth struck a chord with me. Why cry over someone that wouldn't cry over you? What is there to miss about an abusive situation? I really had to think about these questions. My conclusion is that there is nothing to miss. Though I do miss a particular sibling I know that I will see him again some day. It's just a matter of time. Which brings me to my next point, mentality. I learned to turn my sadness into motivation to make myself better. Instead of wallowing in sadness I have decided to better myself. So you see? You can wallow in negativity or turn it into motivation for something else. It really is about how you look at life. I am so thankful for learning this truth. I am not sad anymore as I have turned it into motivation and determination. So if you are struggling, think about the lesson the emotion is teaching you. Then convert that emotion into something else. It is possible. I am so thankful for my family and all their love for me. I really am. So this thanksgiving, let's be thankful for the positives in our lives and spread this positivity. Wishing you all a safe and happy Thanksgiving. Blessings my friends:)

    #thankful #Motivation #Hope #Love #BipolarDisorder #PTSD #Abuse #abusesurvivor #Family #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Holidays


    I'm beginning to see a pattern...

    I've noticed something that is becoming more and more pointed to me. My mom used to feel hurt after years of my grandma had kept herself and my grandfather isolated from her (mostly because my grandmother believed that my mom was going to steal my grandfather from her (my grandmother was schizophrenic)). Now, I've noticed something similar with my mom. I'm still learning to heal and forgive, which is not easy at all. I know I can't do anything about this separation, and sometimes I do find that it's needed. Even then, I still miss "my mom". #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Family


    Sadness Around The Holidays

    How do you cope with sadness during the holidays? I love the holidays but the sadness of coming from a broken family still makes me sad, especially around this time of year. Don't get me wrong, I love my fiancé's family. They're wonderful and they love me. However, for some reason seeing all these happy families makes me sad. Perhaps it's a trigger but nonetheless it is still upsetting. Even though I am part of an awesome family now there is a sadness that lingers. It makes me realize how broken my family really was. I appreciate your feedback. Thank you.

    #sad #PTSD #Abuse #AbuseSurvivors #Family #Broken #Holidays #thankful

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    Thanksgiving Week

    Hello Everyone! It's #Thanksgiving week. I wanted to wish you a happy holiday. Whether you are spending it with #Family or a #friend or a #Furbaby you are never #alone . I think sometimes this time of year is a kick off for some of the most difficult things to face. This means #lonely for some #Grief for others and many more #Emotions .

    I want to let you know that whatever you're facing... You're not #alone .

    I am here for you.


    Life blows, when you’re not having fun..

    I’m just very sad; I’m on a cruise to the Mexican Rivera and I’m feeling lost and out of place. I’m with 6 other people, including my husband and my younger daughter and her boyfriend. I’m glad to meet him for the first time. We all agreed that it’s better to meet now than at my older daughter’s future passing. She (my oldest daughter,) has metastatic stage 4 breast cancer. She continues to act as though us, her parents are dead. For reasons known to us, she’s walled us off and out of her life.
    Last night my younger daughter said she didn’t know if we’d ever meet in Columbus OH, where both our daughters now live. I simply said, “If I want to go to Columbus to see you, and him, I will!” She didn’t understand how that would be possible for me, knowing that my older child also resides in that city. She said that she imagined that would be really painful, like having ones heart ripped out not to be able/free to see my oldest child. What damn difference does it make? The older one won’t communicate with us now, anyway. I had a shitty nights sleep thinking about how nasty and spiteful that the older one is playing this game..She’s holding people hostage by her illness! My older sister is also enjoying torturing us, by being in either buddy,buddy league, or substitute Mom status, with my older daughter. -Never mind that they hadn’t spoken or communicated for at least 15 or 16 years! Now she’s my daughter’s favorite aunt! What the hell did I do to deserve such outright disrespect and lousy treatment, from those I Love and care about? It’s just all really nasty and crappy..My husband doesn’t feel this way. He thinks it’s ok that our daughter has shunned us, since she’s always been difficult and problematic. He thinks my sister, who I see as opportunistic and definitely having narcissistic tendencies, might be helping our cause? My thought is that with my sister’s recent post card from Columbus, that she visited my daughter there, is outright mean. The post card didn’t say this, but it felt like this: I’m in Columbus because your daughter flew me here to see her! I have your daughter’s Love and affection and you don’t!
    I’m thinking I should write my sister a postcard from a destination where my sister and I had talked about going to. I should write..”Having a lovely time, glad you’re not with us!” I know it’s petty, but she’s beyond annoying to me.
    I’m just writing all this while we’re at sea. Trying to rid myself of some of emotions and thoughts I can’t outwardly express. Life sucks. #depressed #PerfectlyHiddenDepressedPerson #PTSD #feelings #painful #Emotion #Cancer #Family #heartstab over and over again..I’m in counseling to help process some of my feelings. But the hurt runs deep.

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    I'm sorry

    I feel like I'm the only one in my family capable of saying "I'm sorry". I say "I'm sorry" too much, honestly, I know that and I'm working on it.. but I feel like most people I encounter, even outside of my family, are either too uncomfortable to say it or don't think of it. If I say I've been hurt by something, people either disappear or blame me for my hurt feelings (too sensitive
    , or I'm making it up because they don't remember it [because I often address things later than in the moment which is something I need to work on], or I'm just being crazy).

    I understand that a person can not be sorry for something.. but it does hurt when I go to someone and say "I felt hurt because of what you did" and it gets passed over or worse.

    Am I toxic for searching for apologies or are they toxic for never saying any... I don't know to be honest.

    #imsorry #apologies #toxicfamily #Depression #Family #Support #processing

    Pic of items that make me feel better


    For those who are adult children of parents with addiction(s)

    I have so many questions in my mind about how parents handle addiction or other things when there are children in the picture. The biggest question being, "Did anyone take into account that your kids could possibly stumble across said addict in the act?" I really feel like when parents decide to things like that a secret, the kids seem to be an afterthought. The said addiction could be embarrassing for said parent, but do they realize that hiding it could effect how their kids see them as a person? I've asked myself these questions because once my step parent's porn addiction was out in the open, all the missing pieces came together, but now I see my family differently. It feels more of a cover up than a real family. But that's just me. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Addiction #dysfunctional #Family


    Being a Daughter with anxiety and having a Bipolar Dad

    When I learned my dad was bipolar four years ago, he had a manic swing so intense he got aggressive and pinned my aunt’s shoulder to the wall. My dad had a manic episode Saturday night.. I had a panic attack fearing he would get aggressive agin and rather than wait for him to drive home (he was just driving between home and my aunts. So rather than deal with him I drove away from home. My mom after a long day of traveling had to be the one to take him to the hospital. She scolded me later for not “acting like a grown up.” What do I do or say? I feel bad for being afraid of my father when he swings. How can I remain clam and convince myself he won’t hurt me or my pets or other family members? To this day, he is still in the hospital and they’re trying to figure out how to get him medicine to help him. My brother thinks he will swing more over grief of my grandmother’s (his mothers) dementia. I know I don’t have the money for an apartment so living at home with my parents is the best option- but it scares me when he’s manic since I fear he will yell or do something like he did in 2018. #Bipolar
    #Family #Anxiety