itsoknotobeok

I haven’t posted since finding out my diagnosis because it’s taken some time for me to come to terms with what’s a part of me. It’s a strange sensation... after battling for years to get an accurate diagnosis, getting the answers to my questions, learning why I am the way I am. I feel like a weight has been lifted, but also still feeling crushed at the same time. Yes, I have my diagnosis. But, it’s broken me to be told that recovery is going to be a super long process because medication can’t fix it. So many mental health issues can be helped with medication. Turns out, medication is a waste of time for me. The damage is emotional. It feels great to have some answers, it feels amazing to have things about me finally make some sense. But it hurts to know I’m not going to feel better for a long time. I’ve lost the hope I had that in “4-6 weeks” my dark cloud would get lighter. Medication isn’t my reality. My reality is the early intervention psychological team. Living life with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder and #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder is my reality. It is #Mynormal. #itsoknotobeok

It is certainly ok not to be ok. It is ok to feel how you feel! Your mental health means more to me than anything else at this moment. How are you feeling today? What's on your mind?! I am here to listen and to listen only. I have been suicidal and have tried 3 times in my life to end things. The most recent was earlier this summer. I know what it is like to feel like no one understand you. I know what it feels like with the world on your shoulder. I know how it feel to want to escape it all. Just know I am here to listen. No judgement here because it is not my place to do so. Here is a safe place to share and to be hear. I am here for you! #MentalHealth #youareneveralone #itsoknotobeok #Iloveyou

When you scream in a crowded room
And no one hears it.
Do you still make a sound.
I’ve been Using the words “I’m fine “
Like a suit of armor
Suffering, hidden by a smile
I really want to break down.. because life is hard.. and EVERYTHING hurts.
But sure.. let’s sit and talk about your problems for a while

I get told “ let people in “
But when that door opens
The troubles begin.

There is the moment I truly see
People don’t know what to do if I’m not “happy”

When I let out my struggles for all the world see.

All the sudden no one hears me.

Screaming in a crowded room.
Yet no one hears a sound.

I slip my smile back into place.
I can’t let them down #MightyPoets #itsoknotobeok