Hi community, friends, others who know my struggle. Lately, ive been struggling. I'm not feeling any better even on my mood stabilizers, i guess a steady routine and sleep schedule is supposed to help my bipolar disorder, but... i don't want to follow one half the time. I don't enjoy it. I just want to be like everyone else and choose whenever I want to wake up and what I want to do with my day. I hate that my feelings bank on these small insignificant things that don't always work. I feel so down for random reasons, so terrible about myself. Like I'm failing at everything. I'm hopeless now... i don't think this will ever get better... im in pain always and now im thinking forever. At this point... i want to fall asleep and not wake up. Not that i would ever do anything to make that happen, the only reason I wake up anymore is my husband. Because he would be lost without me, but sometimes its like a silent forlorn wish... that the pain would just stop. That I could just be at peace for once in my life. ##BipolarDepression ##alone ##iwanttobeatpeace ##Pain ##willthisend