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#Pain #Flashbacks

Im so tired of all this pain. One thing after the other. Dont get a break to deal with past traumas which giving me now flashbacks

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Food, Just Imagine….

Imagine having the flu 24 hours a day 7 days a week.....

Imagine never feeling hungry or a salivating mouth or appetite......

Imagine you have just eaten a 3 course meal and you feel so full all the time that you have to vomit to realease some pressure.......

Imagine having intolerable pain in your stomach like someone has repetitively punched you in the stomach and it feels bruised.....

Imagine living off a diet of soup, meal replacement drinks and water, because anything solid will make you feel like you have eaten razor blades....

Imagine being a lab rat and the Drs test drugs in you, just in the slight hope it will relieve your intense pain, but it only makes your symptoms worse….

Imagine telling everyone that you are really sick and no one believes you or tells you it's all in your head….

Imagine being told you are depressed or suffering from anxiety, you are accused of having an eating disorder as the weight falls off your body and reveals the bare bones of you, or even the complete opposite and you mysteriously to some gain weight but what they don’t realize is it comes from the food collecting in your stomach for weeks…..

Imagine being told you have an illness that they can't fix or cure and you might feel like this forever..............

#Gastroparesis #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #InflammatoryBowelDiseaseIBD #IrritableBowelSyndromeIBS #GastroesophagealRefluxDisease #Pain #ChronicFatigue #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #ParkinsonsDisease #Fibromyalgia #Endometriosis #MultipleHealthChallenges

7 reactions 1 comment

#checkinonme #Pain #Selfpity

Im in pain once again... this is a vent just to get it out there.
I have deep vein thrombosis in my right leg. (Digianosed in july 14th). My compression stockings have small holes which Im scared they are going to tear more (my own fault..i tried pulling the fluff off with a razor and oops). I cant tell my dad this, he will flip as it is we are struggling to pay the medical bills. So i told him it broke by themselves. (Self pity on myself..anxious and i hate myself😡).

So now my leg from calf all the way to hip is so painful. Oh well i did this so I have to pay for it. Why was I such a f..king idiot.

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New Symptoms

How does a person know if they should consult a doctor about new aches. Last night I had pain right from my neck to the tips of my fingers on my left side including some of my ribs. My heart has been thoroughly checked and it is healthy .#heart #Sleep #Fibromyalgia #Pain

9 reactions 6 comments

Emotionally and physically copping.

#Fatigue #Pain #Depression #Anxiety #invisible #MentalHealth

The mental pain of neurological illness is exhaustive and physically draining leading to chronic fatigue and putting your body in a safe mode to where it can do nothing but shut down to survive.

This pain is so severe and happens so fast there is no time to prepare for it or explain it to anyone on time for help.

Your body goes into full panic mode, looking for an outlet to get relief from all the chaos it is experiencing.

The problem is all the signals are being interrupted, stopped and or blocked from helping because they need healthy nerves to do so.

The nerves they are trying to use are severely damaged, partially working, crossed over and doing something opposite of what your brain thinks they should be doing, or some are just completely burnt out and doing nothing.

An example would be trying to use a phone's land line and the lines are crossed, the number you are calling for help is correct, but you are getting a stranger on the other end who has no clue who you are or what to do for you.

Or calling that same number for crucial help but all you keep getting is a busy signal because the other line is off the hook for whatever reason.

All this frenzy from broken nerves and painful muscle spasms sends your anxiety to a new high and causes a bird's nest of new worries and thoughts.

Now your body is exhausted (to say the least.) Your fatigue is a flashing red light, a warning that your body is overloaded with pain and at its breaking point.

Chronic fatigue sets in and shuts you down, it does not matter where you are or what you were doing you shut down.

Your body cannot move one more inch or blink an eye at that. You cannot speak or think of a word, and you are deaf to your surroundings, not hearing a word or feeling a thing.

The fatigue has put you in a deep sleep to rebuild some strength and energy while protecting you and saving your life.

Although no one wants fatigue it is really like your body's own saving grace protecting you from more severe brain damage and or physical damage.


#Pain it ain't mental health pain is physical pain

when I overdo it for a few days I have to deal with physical torture and sometimes a lot of times I get really anxious because of it like it won't heal or something and then it passes it's chronic pain i hate it to pieces

7 reactions 1 comment

My Sister Ran Away Again!

My sister and I haven't spoke in about 17 years or so. When my mother disowned me, my sister was still with me for a little while and then she went cold on me. I'm the Scapegoat in my family. At 34 my mother did not approve of my second husband and disowned me on my wedding day. She wouldn't come to our small service. And she wouldn't allow my father to come, but my sister stood by my side. Until about 10 months later.. I don't know what happened! We got into our fifties and I realized we were abused by a narcissistic mother! I reached out to my sister and four months later she reached back out saying our childhood was extremely abusive and she agreed and said she realized about a year ago how sick her mother has made her. Now for the last year and a half we've been having 5 hour long conversations about every six weeks. A few months ago she told me her new therapist told her that she herself grew up in a narcissistic home and she has nothing to do with her sister or other siblings. I didn't take it as a clue... Well I'm really hurt. I've never done anything wrong to her. But I'm treated like the Scapegoat again. I'm trying not to be so depressed about this! I'm so sad that my sister doesn't want to be old lady friends and plays word games without honesty. Any suggestions, ideas, stories that would be helpful will be gratefully appreciated.
#Anxiety #CPTSD #Depression #Pain #daughters OF NARCISSISTIC MOTHERS #clinical DEPRESSION

8 reactions 3 comments

Painsomnia strikes

It’s 6am ish where I live and been taking meds for pain and insomnia but nothing is working. I’m in agony. I’m really exhausted but my back muscles wouldn’t stop aching and spasming. Anyone out there? Idk what else to do. This happens all too often and i feel defeated. #Painsomnia #Insomnia #fibroflare #BrainFog #ChronicFatigue #Pain #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis

5 reactions 4 comments

Soo tired beyond exhausted emotionally and physically

I wish I could snap my fingers and no longer exist. Just poof and no more me. Tired of the pain the struggles the physically and emotional crap in life. I’m ready to be done. I don’t want to keep doing this. Im not living i just exist I don’t want to. I have few people in my life that would care. Most wouldn’t even notice i was no longer around. I’m just tired of it all. I don’t want to be strong or cope or try to convince myself that being upright for a day every 6 weeks ifs ok and living. It’s not living I don’t want to do this any more. I don’t want to be strong anymore I’m ready to give up #tired #exhausted #Pain #Depression

4 reactions 9 comments