How does RA affect your work or school performance?
Let’s Interrupt the Regularly Scheduled Program… for a Long-Winded-Talk about Our Mind
These are recent valuable words from one of our group members -to help inspire every group member to write your own posts within Our Member-Led group
“Share your worst pain openly. I am unable to judge you negatively, because I understand.
Let out some of your pain, be heard, and be understood.”
“More valuable is that we can share our pain with people we know really understand it. This is a way to release some of our pain, and to not feel so alone…..We have done things to make this happen. Maybe we have something more than empathy to share.”
#Depression #Anxiety #MightyTogether #Stories2Connect #WritingThroughIt #Pain #PTSD #Trauma #HowToFightDepression #NoOneFightsAlone #Support #SupportGroups #ChronicIllness #Disability #MyCondition #ChronicPain #ChronicFatigue #LifelimitingIllness #ChasingLife #Life #Friends #Friendship #ChronicDepression #MajorDepression #MajorDepressiveDisorder
i just recently got diagnosed with BPD. its super confusing but also a relief because it explains why i was running all my life. always being restless in my work and relationships. i was running from myself because in the core of my personality there is a deep void that was caused by massive childhood trauma (was left alone by both parents and experienced a lot of violence as a kid). and standing still makes me feel the loneliness that comes from this void. it feels like its gonna kill me if i get in touch with that feeling. like really sucking me in or making me go "crazy".
i just broke up my relationship 2 month ago because i had an abusive partner. i just lasted 10 month but in the last two month the pain got worse and i realized that my partner was sexually and mentally abusing me. i dedicated my life to that person and cared a lot (my partner was bipolar, had ocd, anxiety and adhd). but in my partners eyes i failed many times because i somehow tried to keep boundaries. like having an evening for myself (to recover from work and taking care of my partner) was a sign for my partner that i wasnt able to love or care or i was told that i am not good enough and unable to really be in a relationship. i began to understand that i worked on being able to be alone for so many years and now its concidered to be so wrong? as i got deeper into analyzing the relationship and what it did to me the pain got worse and also the fear of losing the relationship. but i tried to take care of myself and broke up. it was the hardest thing to do because i convinced myself it was real love. all my issues came up just after the break up. anxiety, panic, loneliness, emptiness and the inner void became super present, almost killing me. still after 2 month of being out of the relationship i wake up with panic that turns into anxiety just to end up feeling so lost and lonely. every day. i try to put on my shield and mask to be able to work but i feel pushing it away makes it worse. when i come home at night i usually break down and cry until i am so tired that i just fall asleep. in my free time i see my friends to give me that safety feeling, at least for a couple of hours. i so badly want to get rid of the void that is so painful and threatening. just want to run. but now the first time in my life i cant run away because i see so clearly that the void is inside of me and will be with me everywhere. since 2 weeks my ex stopped contacting me and blocked me. my ex was trying to keep me in their life and was trying to convince me that they want me so much...while being on dating platforms. that broke the trust and my heart. i knew then i was right with feeling like everything was just fake with them. i knew then they just want to keep me in line for selfish reasons. i felt how my heart broke and the first time in my life i let myself feel the pain. it goes deep and so far i know already it has nothing to do with the person but with my own story. and now i understand that the pain and the void cant kill me. it goes so intense because i cant regulate my emotions very well and i feel lonely because i have no relationship with myself, if there even is something like a self. today i cried very hard because i realized i miss myself. but i dont know where to find me and how to make me love myself. the one thing that helps to reduce this deep pain and fear is that it seems to be part of the BPD diagnosis. how do you guys with this diagnosis deal with the pain and loneliness? i really need to learn how to cope with these deep feelings.