alone

Hello all,

I'm reaching out for prayer and support.

I am a lifelong christian, but I am going through a very difficult and uncertain period. I deal with depression, chronic pain and am unable to walk properly because of severe osteoarthritis in both knees. There are a number of other things, that I won't go into, but are making life quite overwhelming. I am in a very vulnerable place. I am asking God daily for His Strength, to help me heal and handle all that is going on.

I am quite isolated at this time, people tend to fall away when the suffering becomes great, you know ?
I love The Mighty and all the wonderful people here.

Hope all here are well.
Thank you so much

#Christian #chronic pain #Depression #struggling #Faith #Support #CPTSD #Trauma #alone

The one thing life had taught me is that people always leave. Always. It's just a matter of time. I'm tired of people leaving.
#Relationships #Family #Friends #alone #lonely #misunderstood

I'm fairly new to this website, but I figured if anyone could help or relate to me, it would be this page! I'm a mom of three, who has probably suffered with mental illness my whole life (just unaware of it, but I've learned so much, and continue to learn as well) and my children are my life, and even though I've made mistakes in the past I've learned that I'm not the same person I once was, because I lacked the knowledge that I now have. My problem now is, that I just feel lost! I'm sure it's the anxiety that keeps me feeling unsure, and having no clue what to do with my life! The more I try to figure it all out, the more I just feel confused and stuck! More than anything in the world, I just want to have a career (that gives me purpose) that not only financially supports us, but makes my kids proud of me! I let them down so many times by not being able to stick with a job, and I just want to feel normal, confident, ambitious, and clear minded. Lord please just tell me the steps I need to take to be able to do all of this, I've pleaded so many times, and maybe one day I'll get my answer lol! The ironic part is that I'm always so good at helping others, but can't seem to ever be able to mentally do it for myself! #Healing #anxietysucks
#mental illness #venting #mother #lost #Anxiety #Bedtime #alone #Thoughts #rant #

I'm really hating myself today. My health is just making more and more problems. I'm just so tired of fighting all the time to feel okay enough to function. My new doctors are only giving me the option to taper off my pain meds. I've done everything by the book. Started with every option of treatment until only finding one that works. But now that I've moved to a new country, the mindset is not to treat my chronic pain with any pain meds. So I'm left with nothing. No treatment plan. And I'm just supposed to live like this, but still be a mom. Why is it so hard for doctors to be okay with prescribing narcotics? They can see my history and everything that I've tried or done to manage my pain. I'm just another case to them, not a person. Not a person who is going through impossible grief from losing their spouse. Not a person who is barely hanging on and is desperately needing help yet no one can help. #Fibromyalgia #ChronicPain #Giving up #tired #alone

Struggling alot today. I feel so alone in my suffering even though I have support from friends and family. Like they don't truly understand what I'm going through. I don't want to have a pity party but I'm feeling so down and alone today. I'm home all day doing nothing because the weakness and fast heart rate make it so hard to do anything besides sitting around or laying all day. I need help 😔 #Depression #Dysautonomia #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #Anxiety #alone #PTSD

I keep having these micro NE seizures many times a day and I feel so weak after them. Anyone else have that? What have you done that helps with the seizures and weakness? I'm suffering alot. #psychogenicnon-epilepticSeizure #FunctionalNeurologicalDisorder #alone

I feel horrible. I haven’t visited my gram who’s dying of cancer. Reason is I’m too depressed to get out of bed before noon. But I just want to be with her. I lie awake at night thinking about her sleeping at the nursing home. How lonely she feels, angry and depressed. When I leave her I feel so guilty. I feel even more guilty that I don’t see her more than once a week. When I think about these things about myself, I spiral into dark thoughts. How I’m a worthless asshole, piece of shit, who doesn’t even visit his gram. How I disappointed her. How I’ve let her down. I think that I should be punished for not visiting her. She’s suffering so much so I have to suffer too. I’ve thought about really bad thoughts when I think of her and I’m not there. I just am a burden and a disappointment. I won’t hurt myself, I just have these thoughts and feelings. I have nightmares where she dies. My heart just aches. I’m scared of her dying. But I also want her to not be in pain anymore. Her cancer is spreading. When she dies I don’t know what I’ll do.. mental breakdown. #Grief #Depression #lonely #ihatemyself #MentalHealth #Cancer #Anxiety #Badthoughts #Selfhate #lonely #alone

#sad #happy #Therapy #Trauma #alone #scared #future #Grief #PTSDSupportAndRecovery #CPTSD #ChildhoodEmotionalAbuse

Why is it so hard to function one day and then the next day I (meaning today) I took care of several calls to make appointments had therapy... But therapy (Virtual) brought me down again. I cried like a baby, I Imagine it was not pleasant for my therapist to see.lol I want to go back to bed now but I will try to fight the urge.