iwanttorun

i hold it in for week and today i just cant take it anymore...i post it here because i dont have anyone i can talk to and i have been crying for hours now, i become angry why i become this person, why my life is like this just why me..i wish i dissapear from this world, i can cut my ties with everyone i want to die alone, i wish i have the courage to end all this. you must wonder how pathetic her life is,
i am not good for my job, i dont have anyone around me, i become more and more quiet which im not im being careful with everything i say and if i make mistake it haunt me and get scared people might kick me out and the guy i love, he love somebody else but keep me like his mistress i know all of this but i cant do anything because he make forget all this for awhile but its hurt at the same time
i want to end all of this... #Depression #Anxiety #Iwanttodie #iwanttorun #Stress

I have endured life in a dysfunctional family since I can remember. I began cutting as a teen, and when I turned 18 I moved away for college. I never had a problem maintaining a job, home, or friendships. I was involved in an unhealthy romantic relationship from age 19 until 30. I ended up being hospitalized (thr.1st time) due to feeling homicidal rage and cutting myself. When I left the hospital, my stepdad and mom had already rented a place in the country miles away from a street light. I was out there a couple of years so I became close to friends of my parents. My stepdad closest friend took advantage of me one night and I got pregnant. My daughter is now 5. I live with my mother and stepdad and my daughter (I share 50/50 custody with her dad. As my child gets older, I see the damage being caused to her. My mom constantly puts down on my parenting and she nor my stepdad will allow me to leave the house because I'm "an idiot." I have been with a great man for years, but we went through a rough patch a while back but we are stronger now from learning how to overcome hard times together. I am 38 years old but I am forbidden by my parents to pursue a future with him or even see him. I dont know what to do, but I have always been TOLD what and what NOT to do or want or love. I have been searching for family therapists but I haven't had any luck at all. I can't live as an abused prisoner for much longer. Please help me.
#MightyTogether #