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Stress vs Stressors

Each of us has our own threshold for the stress response. This threshold is the point at which a stressor causes the body to go into hyper- or hypo- arousal.

The stressors themselves might come at work, at home, or on our commute in between. Stressors are everywhere and we all experience them every day.

And the stressors are relatively uniform for all of us.

We all get stuck in traffic.

We all worry about life's obligations.

We all get busy sometimes.

But, as each of us has our own threshold for the stress response, some people are able to take stressors in stride while others experience dysregulation.

At one point in my life, a delay like a traffic jam would send my blood pressure through the roof, create tension in my chest and create the most isolating, pessimistic, and catastrophizing thoughts.

Yet, there were people in the cars around me, stuck in the same traffic, who were content and calm. (I know there were such people, because I asked around and found them.)

So, what's the difference between the person in the car next to me, enjoying the moment of calm, and me, the guy with the vice-like grip on the steering wheel?

Turns out, the difference lies within. That is, it has nothing at all to do with the traffic.

When we believe the situation is overwhelming and, ultimately, unsafe for us, we experience the stress response. This belief often grows from a seemingly innocuous thought like "This traffic is bad" or "I hate traffic."

But when we can consciously attend to the present moment experience, recognizing that we are safe and we avoid labeling the experience as either 'good' or 'bad', we tend to avoid the stress response all together.

And in those times we do experience stress, we recognize it very quickly and are able to regulate our bodies, emotions, and thoughts more efficiently, as we learn, grow, and even heal through the difficult moments of our lives.

#Mindfulness #Stress #stressreduction


° " Work Is Exhusting... But We Have To Keep Going " ° #Thought 's

° " So I Made Overtime For The 1st Time... I Got Sent Home Early Lolz... Yay Me... My Schedule Has Completely Changed... I Work At 6A.M Off At 3P.M. And Apparently A Customer Made A Complaint Against Me... For Not Letting Them Have Carne Asada On A Diffrent Dish... ? Well TBH I Didn't Know That It Could Be Added With Everything Else On The Menu... Because Nobody Tell's Me Anything... " • Sincerely, ☆☆☆ S.K. ☆☆☆ #Work #Stress

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I’m scared and done with this society… does anyone even care…? | TW mentions of police, family, swearing, some all caps, possibly ableism?

Being autistic feels like a fucking crime these days.

I was staying at a hotel because was about to lose my fucking mind staying at home with my youngest nephew making a lot a noise constantly throughout the day. What my dad said earlier about check-out, I’ve misinterpreted, but he fully apologized and takes full responsibility as he should’ve made it clearer.

I was getting ready to check-out, but it was an hour later because I was getting ready to check-out. Security came to my door and said that I needed to come out, and I told them that I was just getting ready to leave. Packing as fast as I possibly could, they came back again and threatened to call the police on me if I didn’t get out of there soon. I literally told them that I was packing as fast as I could and that I had an appointment an hour after the check up time (and I couldn’t reschedule or else my mom would have to pay over $100 for canceling ,and I didn’t want to do that to her!) … and of course they did care about that last part.

Pissed off, I left the hotel in tears and placed the card keys at express check out. I wanted to complain, but I didn’t bother because I was just so mad and honestly scared for my life.

My dad told me that the police part is just something they say to get others out. If this is a fucking neurotypical norm, I want to let you know: 1) I HATE being pressured or someone trying to rush me and 2) I HATE being FUCKING THREATENED, especially regarding something TO DO WITH THE POLICE! Are you kidding me?!?!

Society SERIOUSLY needs to know how traumatizing and/or stressful that is to hear for neurodivergent individuals who 1) completely misinterpreted what check-out restrictions mean, 2) are trying their fucking hardest to do something in time, and 3) LITERALLY MEAN NO FUCKING HARM!!!!!!!

Now, I’m fucking scared to even go outside anymore. I feel like society just doesn’t want me. I feel like society just sees me as a criminal, or just sees my autism as criminalistic.

I know I was overstimulated earlier with my younger nephew, but I’d rather deal with this and possibly lose my mind than be FUCKING THREATENED TO HAVE THE POLICE ONTO ME!

#IsThisAbleism #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #NeurotypicalNorms #StopThis #Police #overstimulated #Norms #scared #Stress #Society #venting #Vent #triggerwarning #MentalHealth #Ableism

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Might have possible BPD? Struggling to find my inner voice/ vent post ❤️🥺😩😢

Hello, I’m Laura, 23. Originally from Mexico but was raised in Canada.

I have a whole history of intra generational family trauma, I super appreciate all the sacrifices my family did to bring me here, I love them but it is so incredibly hard to get along with them as we are a high stress/ super dysfunctional and toxic fam sadly. We have been through a lot, and I feel a lot of internal shame. Mental health issues run from my mom’s side in particular, and more health issues on my dad’s side.

It’s been tough
Ups and downs, there’s a whole lengthy history about all the stuff we have been through as a family. I love them all so so much, I’m super empathetic but it’s draining the fact we just can’t get along, it was always mainly my mom and dad who literally can’t stand each other but never got divorced because of financial reasons, they aren’t too much the traditional or religious type at least my mom especially she’s actually pretty anti-mexican and racist ironically so I wasn’t really raised in my culture, so I have some issues there too though I try to be open minded and find out on my own. Anyways long story short.

She’s diagnosed with major major depression, severe ptsd, chronic pain, heart disease, and so on she also most likely has super bad undiagnosed anxiety, very explosive bpd/ anger issues etc.

My sister has ulcerative colitis, and I’ve guessed oppositional defiant disorder or just very rebellious even since a child but not diagnosed could just be her and my mom have never ever gotten along and maybe never will lol to the point it gets violent confrontations, we have had to call the cops before sometimes, my sister has improved a lot but she also has pretty explosive bpd and anger issues, anxiety, long term depression or dysthymia i don’t know it’s like a thing where she rarely ever feels happy and is always numb or very callous in a way/ stoic she never ever cries.

My dad is more traditional

And things emotional health/ meant health is being weak minded etc

Just Canadian things even though my moms mother and aunt in Mexico have severe mental health too and are homeless due to lack of resources and understanding, her mom is very poor and skinny now as elderly sadly apparently but she is housed.

Anyways there’s a whole life story really hard to put into one post only.

Anyways I have diagnosed Generalized Anxiety Disorder so basically chronic stress and severe anxiety at times other times it’s low functioning/high functioning
Environment is a big one for me since there’s been some emotional abuse for a while now. Though I love my fam it’s hard to get into counselling without them wanting to, or them never wanting to learn non violent communication and learn healthy boundaries and so on.

I’m struggling internally because I have depression, ptsd, social anxiety, panic disorder, etc

My biggest are anxiety and depression.

But since my sister is diagnosed with BPD and my mom has most likely undiagnosed BPD too my current mental health caseworker says I might actually be at risk for it
Because though I don’t maybe apply to the most common symptoms or diagnosis criteria there is a spectrum.

I don’t have too many anger issues myself or explosive bpd like they do because I’ve been on the receiving end and I know what that feels like,

I’m a huge Empath and highly sensitive person,

I don’t like to be victimized in the sense I try my best to volunteer, get counselling, work on my conditions, there’s so much stigma and hate and I respect people who don’t believe in mental health stuff or support it, but at least for me personally. Know it’s just as important as physical health and ignoring it only makes it worse in my case. Sometimes I overthink everything am I really anxious and depressed or feel like a burden to society and so on but I try really hard to use self love and acceptance while I do my best to cope and do self improvement.

Anyways sorry just venting because I guess it’s hard to explain some things to counsellors as each one has their approach and currently can’t find free or affordable counselling and my caseworker is nice to get me support and resources but a bit stigmatizing in some things too or at least has a different approach in some things. A bit of lack of empathy just because on the outside I appear high functioning due to masking my mental health but I try not to and struggle a lot behind the scenes sometimes since my environment makes my recovery a lot worse sadly and it’s hard at the moment to keep a job etc



It’s hard because in recent years my sister has become super conservative and what some people would consider Qanon
I respect her beliefs and love her I know in some ways maybe some stuff is true some is not idk

But also I love my mom and dad but my mom constantly lashes out and belittles me and my dad can be stigmatizing in comments it’s just a hard mix when you just want to love your family and also not be drained or affected by being around them I worse on my triggers so much but it’s hard when I just absorb everything and they always have to be right hard to voice my needs or stand up for myself / boundaries

So for me the only way is to spend less time with them sadly and make a second family outside the home with more positive or accepting individuals though I love my fam and hope we can get better in the future

Anyways I guess it’s hard because lately my head isn’t a safe place I repeat everything the thought patterns and things they say
I went to an lgbtq+ friendly event today to support some of my friends as an ally. And all I can do is feel is this right is this wrong, even though I’m just trying to be nice and attend my first pride event, I respect liberal and conservative people religious or not /democrat or republican etc I have friends or fam on both sides, but it’s hard I feel I have no voice like I can’t respect myself and constantly question myself

It’s hard I feel maybe my inferiority complex and trauma etc some things might be linked to possible bpd or at least more counselling I need to do to work in I’ve been getting so many headaches lately from extreme heat outside walking as I can’t/ don’t drive at the moment and we had a bus strike for almost 6 months

And all the overthinking
I know coping tools and meditation etc I take medication maybe I need an increase in meds or additional meds but I’m scared about side effects idk I guess I’m just a struggling probably need to journal some more I just want the extra mean internal thoughts to go away it’s not me it’s not who I try to be I’m a decent and kind person I try to help when I can and be open minded help in the community but I can’t seem to do it lately for myself and it just makes me break down I try gratitude stay positive eyes but sometimes some days nothing helps it’s tough or my moods and thoughts change so much during the day it’s hard I know I just have to be good enough for me I shouldn’t care what anyone else says or thinks but it’s hard especially when it comes from your family most of the time

Thanks for any kindness and non judgmental comments this might sound over dramatic and I’ll feel better tomorrow but I guess just hard sometimes. Anyways excuse the long rant or venting and any typos or lack of grammar my phone is slow .

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorderBPD #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Stress #Trying #New

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When you're not okay.

I've had a situation going on with my family last few days eg them being the opposite of supportive. I'm crying this morning but am OK as I'm going out with my aunt in a bit . I just don't care about showing emotion right now. "Big girls cry when their hearts are breaking " #Anxiety #Stress

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Overwhelmed by #Stress , #Depression , #ChronicPain , and #ChronicFatigue (Vent)

I've struggled with physical and mental health for most of my life. I feel like I should be able to function reliably by now, but everything together has put so much pressure on me for so long that I'm just burnt out. I'm tired of working so hard just to keep getting worse. Tired of insurance companies telling me I don't actually have #Fibromyalgia or otherwise impeding my ability to get the care I need. I wish I could afford to take a vacation and hire somebody to help with all the built-up housework, just to get some mental load off.

Work is the worst of it. I'm so behind on everything. Stress about that is making it even harder to work on getting stuff done. I keep trying but just.... shutting down. The stress/anxiety/panic just build until they're expressing somatically and I have to go rest because of migraine, nausea, blood pressure, whatever. Mental health tools help for sure, but remembering to apply them in the moment is inconsistent, and choosing to is, as well, because hiding in the dark with a panic attack is somehow less awful than just getting the work done that's causing the stress in the first place??? Brains are weird.

I absolutely need a new job. This one is too high stress; my boss (and the greater system) makes sympathetic noises but doesn't actually respect the fact that I'm disabled; the work is difficult but boring; I have friends and community in the company but absolutely nobody on my team. Kind of tired of self-proclaimed "allies" making unapologetic gay jokes.

For today, I just need a hug and some kind words. Compassion and support instead of judgement and dismissal would go a long way towards making it through another day.

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Struggling to express myself, stay positive etc. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning under the weight of my mum's expectations. Like noone understands.

Am staying in temp accommodation and my whole life has changed dramatically last 6 months and still trying to process (Inc suicide attempts).
My ex is the only one who doesn't have expectations of me so I've been leaning on him. I don't care if you're not supposed to. I have noone else.

This is one of the hardest times of my life and my mum in particular tries but I always end up upset when I see her. She doesn't listen/we're not in same wavelength. She tells me what to do and just dismisses my fears and makes Mr feel stupid. In turn I often storm out which isn't good either but I can't take much more at the moment.

#Stress #Bipolar #Homeless #Depression

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Distraction post 🎆 Happy 4th of July week!

Just a little reminder to take the necessary things to help each and every day!!🙂 Take a break, step outside, call a friend or family member, spend time with a pet, do a favorite hobby or craft!
Do something for you!

Have a safe and nice 4th of July!

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Stupid angry feelings

I don't have transportation. I rely on my friends to take me out to go to events. But none of my friends are spiritual. And the events I desperately need to attend are spiritual. So I can't go. And this is really upsetting me. My soul hurts and needs nurturing. My faith is so important to me.

So I decided to host a pagan potluck at the park that is right behind my apartment. It's scheduled for August 5th. I posted the link in some pagan groups on Facebook... And asked people to spread the word. I don't know if anyone will attend but all I can do is try. I've got my fingers crossed.

I'm so stressed out that I developed a stress migraine. I have had a really rough day today. I'm on day 4 of a Crohn's flare. And I've got a bad flare up of herpetic whitlow so my hands are really itchy. I've got so much on my mind. I'm going to a convention in September and I have to figure out how I'm getting to the airport on my own. And I need to buy a suitcase. I think maybe I can get by with just a big duffel bag. I dunno. Lots to do next month to get ready.

Tomorrow I have a neurologist appointment to address my migraine frequency. Last month I had 25 days of migraines. I'm stressed out about the appointment because I have to take transportation through my insurance and it's usually late so if I'm late to my appointment they'll cancel it. I'm just hoping I get there on time.

I've also got a flare up of really bad seborrheic dermatitis on my scalp, face, eyebrows, and inside my ears. I will see my dermatologist on Friday. I hope there's something else I can use for it. I've been using ketoconazole shampoo for almost 2 years and it doesn't help at all.

I feel alone. Like I have no friends to turn to. I don't have much in common with them. I'm trying to make new friends in the pagan community. I am also in a few trans Michigan groups but most of the members are trans girls. I need guy friends. I've only got one guy friend and he works 7 days per week. I have seen him once in the last 3 months. I don't really know how to make friends... But I'm trying.

#Faith #Paganism #Depression #Anxiety #Stress #hopeful #CheckInWithMe #tired

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Everybody… Meet Loki.

So, in recent months my mental health has rapidly deteriorated. There’s so much that’s weighing on my mind and it’s just slowly killing my spirit. I feel angry ALL the time. I’ve frequently had dark thoughts about self harm because I just, quite simply, can’t cope. It’s been torture and I can barely sleep. I contacted my GP and they’ve increased two of my antidepressants and have referred me on to a proper psychiatrist to discuss putting me back on my antipsychotics to level my moods and all that.

Last week (the 17th), was my birthday. And my little sister surprised me so so much… She bought me a companion. The most adorable little ginger kitten with blue eyes. He is GORGEOUS, and his name is Loki.

In the evenings he crawls into bed with me and either sleeps on my side (as shown in the pic - please excuse my fat belly), or next to my head on the pillow, where he’d gently lick/groom my forehead as I fall asleep. He’s such a quirky little guy, too. He always seems to sense when I’m upset, and he quietly climbs into my lap and rests his head on my belly, leg or chest. He’s just the cutest little guy.

Anyway… I just wanted to show him off, haha. I hope you’re all doing well and staying hydrated in this awful humidity and the heat. Yesterday it reached 30°C and there was no breeze or wind whatsoever. Every breath felt like it was going nowhere at all. It was awful. Anyway.. Have a great week!

#chronicillnesswarrior #ChronicPain #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #InterstitialCystitis #NAFLD #LiverDisease #Diabetes #Migraines #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #TherapyPets #Therapy #Stress #Kitten #EmotionalSupportAnimals

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