Stress States and Working Life...
How do you deal with levels of stress without stimulating a chronic pain flair up?
I've had chronic back pain from scoliosis for for 15 years now. I'm off the meds and I'm doing a lot of work on myself with Cognitive Reprocessing Therapy, meditation and mindful movement excercises combined with physiotherapy.
I can't work because I'm unable to cope with the stress of working as an Operating Department Practitioner (ODP). I left my profession because they couldn't make reasonable adjustments for my condition. So I walked away from my career.
For the past 18 months I've been trying to wean off painkillers to figure out what to do about my pain, sometimes it's been so overwhelming that I've had panic attacks that have left me suffering from muscle spasms for months.
I cannot keep going with this idea that I'm the only person going through this, how do we continue to feel our pain in a safe way without overworking the muscles of our backs when we feel our emotions.
After 15 years of chronic pain it's hard to imagine a world where pain doesn't exist. That's not what I'm looking for, I just want to feel my pain sensations without having an immediate reaction of panic, fear and rage.
Which brings me to the flip side of chronic pain, when I stopped taking my meds (co-codamol) I began feeling so much, so much that I didn't know how to feel, my pain become overwhelming but so did my emotions. I felt like a baby learning how to navigate states of newness again through this otherworldly state of being because my emotions were so viceral, so explosive. I didn't know how to behave , how to respond to people through these new sensations, it drove me to states of mind that have been described by the internet at psychosis.
The thing that saved me from my mad mind was the ability to express what I was feeling through art. Painting, poetry, dancing and singing helped me find my way back to myself through my pain. This was about six months ago and at this time I'm trying to bring myself to a place where I can go back to work, safely. There is no room for creative self expression in a hospital...
The level of self management involved in my day to reduce my pain is a heavy burdeon, I don't know how I will be able to cope without these practices...
I can't just take a 30 min break and meditate or go for a walk to calm down my nervous system.
How do people cope with pain and the stress of work when there is no space for us in the system to be able to feel, express and mend ourselves in the moment we need to.....
Chronic pain, a disability?
#ChronicPain #Scoliosis #Disability #worklifebalance #Psychosis #cognitivereprocessingtherapy #Stress #cocodamol