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I can’t do this anymore

I’m falling apart. I’m really struggling. I’ve self harmed, I’ve tried talking and writing my thoughts down but I don’t know what to do anymore. The one person that I want to talk to more than anything is someone I’ve lost. We message each other but it’s not the same. My conversations with him were the only thing that kept me going and now I don’t have them anymore. I try messaging him but it’s not the same and all I want is him. Everything is falling apart. I can’t get out of bed. I’m crying my eyes out while I’m writing this and I just want all of this to be over. I just want things to get better and they’re not. I’m not coping and I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want him and I don’t anymore. #SuicidalThoughts #Depression #Imnotokay #Iwanttodie


another episode

i hold it in for week and today i just cant take it anymore...i post it here because i dont have anyone i can talk to and i have been crying for hours now, i become angry why i become this person, why my life is like this just why me..i wish i dissapear from this world, i can cut my ties with everyone i want to die alone, i wish i have the courage to end all this. you must wonder how pathetic her life is,
i am not good for my job, i dont have anyone around me, i become more and more quiet which im not im being careful with everything i say and if i make mistake it haunt me and get scared people might kick me out and the guy i love, he love somebody else but keep me like his mistress i know all of this but i cant do anything because he make forget all this for awhile but its hurt at the same time
i want to end all of this... #Depression #Anxiety #Iwanttodie #iwanttorun #Stress

1 comment

What should I do because I feel depressed and I feel like I want to runaway

I feel like I have no one and I don’t trust anyone accept my best friend
#Depression #Iwanttodie #pleasehelp

1 comment

I hate feeling like nothing is real. I’m tired of not feeling attached to my own body. I am tired of the dissociation and CONSTANT derealization. I’m tired of people not understanding anything about BPD and me being unable to describe anything I feel to a “normal” person. When I do, all I hear is, “everyone feels like that” or, “I feel like that sometimes”... no. No, you don’t. My boyfriend does that very thing. He refuses to acknowledge that I am different and it’s hard for me. He says that I’m not special or different and he constantly tries to minimize everything I tell him I’m feeling. Every time... “everyone feels that way”. Even when it comes to my PTSD.

I’ve begun isolating myself. Nobody will talk to me or even ask if something is wrong. I have nobody that wants to visit me — not even my own parents. They say communication is a 2-way street, but they rarely take the initiative to contact me.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t seem to get anyone to understand how horrible this is and I’m exhausted. I really, really don’t want to keep going. I just don’t want to live like this anymore. I’m not going to off myself — it’s too much work and it’s an inconvenience to those around me. It’s kind of funny... if my boyfriend and me weren’t living together, I don’t think anyone would even find me. Neighbors may complain of a stench eventually, but not for months.

I’m tired of nobody giving a shit. I have nobody.

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BPD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #alone #ihatemyself #Iwanttodie #help



A feeling you can't describe. It's called numb. I am empty and numb and so, so incredibly sad. #Iwanttodie