Childhood stolen. #csasurvivor #SexualAbuse #lostmemories #CPTSD #Flashbacks
My sibling and I have been connecting more lately and it's been good and hard at the same time. We both have been experiencing flashbacks, dissociative episodes, and having memories return over the last 4 years. I started therapy with an amazing therapist recently and it's become increasingly clear that we were both abused by our biological father. We both have a lot of missing memories from age 5/6 through Middle/High School. They are coming back now a d it's scary. I just want to be free of the torment of never feeling safe in my own body and the thoughts that I must have deserved it. It's scary and so overwhelming to lose control of your body and mind out of survival. I am grateful my body protected me so I could be where I am today. The healing is painful though. We cut off contact with our biological family and are feeling safer now, but they still invade boundaries constantly. It's so overwhelming. I feel trapped and stuck around what is next.