sexual abuse

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Digging deep

I have pinpointed when may have be bipolar when I was growing up. From 8-teens I had anger issues such as lashing out, very irritable and deep depression. Yes it could have been hormones but I think it went deeper than that. 8 yrs old is when my #SexualAbuse started. I pinpointed why I don’t like my birthday. My dad made me a dollhouse and gave it to me on my birthday. My brother used that as to start grooming me. I still celebrate since its me, mom, my son and his girlfriend. #biolar2 #PTSD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder

5 reactions 2 comments
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How do you feel when open up to your therapist?
The last 2 days I was anxious about how my therapist could react; I've written about early intimate experiences with men in hope to find unconditional love.
I've only told 1 person about it before.

I'm kind of ashamed about it.

#EmotionalNeglect
#SexualAbuse

55 reactions 11 comments
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Exposer therapy for trauma #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #SexualAbuse

So after my therapy session last week my therapist mentioned exposure therapy that we will get into soon. I read this can be for sexual abuse and PTSD. Has anyone tried this? If so was it traumatic? How did it work for you?

6 reactions 1 comment
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TRIGGER CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSE NO DETAILS

If you are a fan of the ID channel there is a show on there The ladies of route 20 in the discretion before the show the mention childhood sexual abuse. I refuse to watch because I am a survivor of it. I do not want to get triggered. Just want to warn you all in case you thought of watching it. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #SexualAbuse

5 reactions 1 comment
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Does anyone has any advice on healthy coping mechanisms to deal with talking about your past?

I had traumatic experiences as a child, I grew up without understanding how to deal with my emotions in the aftermath of when I could once identify that in fact what happened to me was SA and manipulation into CP. It’s still hard for me to speak out about it to close friends and family members and to not constantly feel like a burden to others when I voice my concerns or opinions about anything. My dream is to be able to talk about what happened without sobbing like a crazy person but I know me being the self-conscious person that I am, It won’t be easy. #SexualAbuse #MentalHealth #Healing

18 reactions 6 comments
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Flashback #SexualAbuse

I lie on my bed, listened to meditation and was ready to take a nap. Couldn't concentrate on the meditation. Suddenly memories came to my mind.

It's been 18 years ago that I experienced sexual abuse. But the memories seemed to happen rightnow.....

14 reactions 6 comments
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Ruined everything

Went to a show, expensive, supposed to be fantastic but I ruined it… created a scene .. started panicking- felt like everything was closing in… you know like the past was there again … I had to leave .. felt sick … I was told off but that didn’t stop me it made me think of my past - it absolutely reminded me of the abuse .. the people all watching, the darkness … I was there but I wasn’t ….
This morning I hate my self even more … I ruined it …. We were thrown out of the auditorium- dressed up, I know how to behave …. So sorry, sorry, …
#SexualAbuse #Anxiety #CPTSD

64 reactions 18 comments
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Empty

Feeling empty - how to fill the void that has been damaged by evil - any advice ? How can I get rid of the flaw inside of me . I know what you will say …. Please help though I feel I can’t move on . I’m tarnished . Abuse will kill me in the end … how do I take one day at a time . I tell myself I’m free . I’m lucky to live . I’m an ok person but … I despise myself . Please …. Why . Why the people I trusted … if I’m honest I’m just devastated
#SexualAbuse #Depression #Anxiety #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder

81 reactions 43 comments