Happy New Year!
Happy New Year! How is everyone? How do you want to work on your mental health this year or even just this month?
If you are a fan of the ID channel there is a show on there The ladies of route 20 in the discretion before the show the mention childhood sexual abuse. I refuse to watch because I am a survivor of it. I do not want to get triggered. Just want to warn you all in case you thought of watching it. #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #SexualAbuse
I had traumatic experiences as a child, I grew up without understanding how to deal with my emotions in the aftermath of when I could once identify that in fact what happened to me was SA and manipulation into CP. It’s still hard for me to speak out about it to close friends and family members and to not constantly feel like a burden to others when I voice my concerns or opinions about anything. My dream is to be able to talk about what happened without sobbing like a crazy person but I know me being the self-conscious person that I am, It won’t be easy. #SexualAbuse #MentalHealth #Healing
I lie on my bed, listened to meditation and was ready to take a nap. Couldn't concentrate on the meditation. Suddenly memories came to my mind.
It's been 18 years ago that I experienced sexual abuse. But the memories seemed to happen rightnow.....
Went to a show, expensive, supposed to be fantastic but I ruined it… created a scene .. started panicking- felt like everything was closing in… you know like the past was there again … I had to leave .. felt sick … I was told off but that didn’t stop me it made me think of my past - it absolutely reminded me of the abuse .. the people all watching, the darkness … I was there but I wasn’t ….
This morning I hate my self even more … I ruined it …. We were thrown out of the auditorium- dressed up, I know how to behave …. So sorry, sorry, …
#SexualAbuse #Anxiety #CPTSD
Feeling empty - how to fill the void that has been damaged by evil - any advice ? How can I get rid of the flaw inside of me . I know what you will say …. Please help though I feel I can’t move on . I’m tarnished . Abuse will kill me in the end … how do I take one day at a time . I tell myself I’m free . I’m lucky to live . I’m an ok person but … I despise myself . Please …. Why . Why the people I trusted … if I’m honest I’m just devastated
#SexualAbuse #Depression #Anxiety #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder
Im thinking that my DNA is paired wrong …. The helix 🧬 goes the other way - this is fact because it wasn’t one person that did those things it happened again and again - even as an adult I went back for more and I hate myself . I want to get rid . I used to bathe in bleach but nothing works #ChildhoodAbuse #PTSD #SexualAbuse #recoveryishard #Hatemyself #Migraine #EatingDisorders #SuicidalThoughts #Selfharm
There is a song by the oak ridge boys that I can hear in the background when I was being sexually abused by my brother. I can’t listen to that song. I also remember seeing Barbara Mandrell wearing a bright blue dress when she was pregnant with her son. I looked up the year she was pregnant with him it was 1985 when I was 12. The Oak Ridge boys came out in 1982 when I was 9. I can’t listen to the song she was singing too. #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PTSD #SexualAbuse #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorde
I turn 29 in about a month and I’ve never felt younger. I guess all my time in my twenties spent inside and going to bed early really paid off well. Learning to accept myself as I am, mental illness and all. My chemical imbalance stems from extreme childhood and adult sexual abuse and drug use (that developed after said abuse) I am not weak because I take medication, I take medication because I am too strong for this world to handle. I do not have social media to drag me down. I attribute my young looks to the fact that I don’t partake in trashing others. Kindness is karma. If you live your life free of hate you will be forever young. #SexualAssault #PsychiatricSurvivor #childlike #SexualAbuse #Incest #Bipolar1Disorder #ddlg