I’m overwhelmed with thoughts, emotionally exhausted, and tired. I spent 1 hour of my 2.5 hour appointment going over only part of my medical history.

During my appointment I was asked if the symptoms I discussed lower my quality of life or inhibit my life. My answer was “Yes, when symptoms are present my quality of life is lowered and inhibits me from doing things that I want to get done during my day”. On top of that I was asked if I have any stress in my life (HAHAHA). I’ve been stressed my whole life, I’ve been chronically ill dealing with eye surgeries, a suppressed immune system, etc for the past 17 years. Oh and on top of that my mom is newly diagnosed with Parkinson’s and vents to me about her health. Oh and my job has a lot of stress lately, we formed a union, difficulties with supervisor, etc. I do my best to limit stress by working out and meditating but that doesn’t seem to be enough.

You know what the doctor said? “Well seems like it’s vasolvagal syncope/neurocardiogenic syncope and you’re already doing everything we’d recommend. You’ll get over this and out grow it. But for some reason if you don’t, you can make another appointment”.

Yes I’m happy my heart is healthy. Yes I’m happy I’m resourceful and know how to listen to my body. But I wish there was something more I could be doing to limit these episodes. I live in fear and anxiety for weeks after an episode wondering why it happened, what could I have done differently so it didn’t happen, and when is it going to happen again? I think any chronically ill person can relate - I just want 365 days of stability, “remission”, and no new medical conditions.

Thanks for letting me rant, I’m going to go take a bath and do my nails to distract me the rest of the day.
#NeurocardiogenicSyncope #HypothyroidismUnderactiveThyroidDisease #MentalHealth #Anxiety #MedicalStress #newdiagnosis