The Wall
I could list my
Greatest strengths on a wall so
Plastered with my failures
That nothing else could be written.
I had only two sides
Failure and weakness
Only two dimensions
Peeling off the bricks.
A sunbeam blasted me out of my skin
And seared my shadow on the spaces
Between the surfaces I vandalized
When I existed,
My life an awkward graffiti.
I achieved ugly because beauty
Was beyond me.
My life falls off the bricks like scabs
From the half healed burns of my spirit
Photographed, numb and frozen forever
The traces, mute and weathered
Of failure upon failure upon failure
Until I had to slough off so much
Of myself to stop hurting
That two dimensions would hold me.
My portrait
Not oil on canvas
But a still life etched in rejection
Fading into a non bearing wall
If it fell it would not matter
If I had lived it would not matter.
Because living reduces us to a point
The nail that held the portraits of the worthy
Or the pinprick I will occupy
When I shed the rest of me
My pain will die in silence
When I am too weak to feel
Anything anymore.
#Depression #Suicide #Trauma #PTSD #MentalHealth #Disability #MightyPoets
