Loneliness

I won’t go into details, but May 2nd is the hardest day of the year for me, and as it’s coming up, I’m just feeling extremely low all the time. On top of that, while school is improving socially, summer is coming fast, and then I’ll be isolated for three months. Most students look forward to summer, but as I can’t get any of my friends to do anything with me outside of school, it’s a really hard part of the year for me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I am working on getting a job at the bike shop near my house, but that’s not a sure thing, and it’s hard to work on a resumè when I’m so down all the time.

I won’t go into details, but May 2nd is the hardest day of the year for me, and as it’s coming up, I’m just feeling extremely low all the time. On top of that, while school is improving socially, summer is coming fast, and then I’ll be isolated for three months. Most students look forward to summer, but as I can’t get any of my friends to do anything with me outside of school, it’s a really hard part of the year for me. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I am working on getting a job at the bike shop near my house, but that’s not a sure thing, and it’s hard to work on a resumè when I’m so down all the time.

SIT DOWN, have a cuppa warm BC Marley Hills Brothers Cappuccino Coffee and talk to a friend here, The winter here is cold and bitter and it's chilled us to the bone, if you were lonely too, on this winter's night with you, in the arms of your angel fly away from the endlessness that you feel. LOOK AT ALL THE LONELY PEOPLE, WHERE DO THEY ALL BELONG, I belong to you, you belong to me You're my sweethearts. HOW ARE YOU. Get out and do something for you today, libraries are cool, maybe the chill will wear off and we'll go a walkin in the rain. BE CONSCIENTIOUS and treat each other good, shoulder to shoulder, drop some lyrics here, love love

What is a bed and a family
After you've been arrested
Or stayed away in a hospital
Feeling like isolation
Dialing home's number til your fingers hurt
Or when you're away at college and you miss their wisdom
Or when you have kids of your own and you're lost And you miss their wisdom
Or when you're working overseas and it's so lonely and far
Or when you're traveling and sharing a room with 50 Hostellers
LOST
WE GO on and on in the Lost and Found
And you don't know why you're in any of those situations
And you're trying to be all things for all people
Then you appreciate
And when you try to run you just try
Cause a homemade stinky sausage and potatoes made for you is like gold
And making a cuppa for family is your essence
AND A SMOKE is a time to dream about BC trees and the moon
AND PROBLEMS are temporary
And the Nothing is smaller here
And you keep the door open through bullying and Violet
And it's cause the memories and substance of the whole damn thing is gold
And you miss extended family but there's only so many to go around
And you need a Grandma
Or her memory
AND HER MEMORIES
AND YOU'RE SORRY YOUR LOST SOUL EVER TOOK ANYTHING FOR GRANTED
YOU DON'T WANT TO Pace into Oblivion right now
EVEN WITH favorite songs on your lips it still hurts
So give of yourselves to others
FELLOW LOST ONES

I was in French class, and we were going to play this battleship type of game (but with verb conjugation). We’ve played it with different grammatical skills before, so I knew what was coming. In the past, my teacher has just paired me with someone because while everybody else has an evident friend to play against, I do not (as you know if you’ve followed my posts). However, that usual person wasn’t there today. And the only other person was someone who doesn’t care about the class and just sits on their phone the whole time. So I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do. But suddenly, from the front and left to me, I hear "Go play with [Scorf] he’s lonely over there." Now, there’s this friend group of three girls that sits over there, and they’ve engineered some way to do three way battleship in the past. And then she continued with "You wanna play with [Scorf]?" And of course I was like, "Sure." For whatever reason, the one girl decided to jokingly "exile" her friend (as she put it) and sent her over to play with me. I was very surprised, but it made me pretty happy for a good minute there.

I was in French class, and we were going to play this battleship type of game (but with verb conjugation). We’ve played it with different grammatical skills before, so I knew what was coming. In the past, my teacher has just paired me with someone because while everybody else has an evident friend to play against, I do not (as you know if you’ve followed my posts). However, that usual person wasn’t there today. And the only other person was someone who doesn’t care about the class and just sits on their phone the whole time. So I had absolutely no idea what I was going to do. But suddenly, from the front and left to me, I hear "Go play with [Scorf] he’s lonely over there." Now, there’s this friend group of three girls that sits over there, and they’ve engineered some way to do three way battleship in the past. And then she continued with "You wanna play with [Scorf]?" And of course I was like, "Sure." For whatever reason, the one girl decided to jokingly "exile" her friend (as she put it) and sent her over to play with me. I was very surprised, but it made me pretty happy for a good minute there.

I’m just wondering 🤔 if I’ll ever find love again? Especially when you have the mental illness that I mentioned above! I truly miss being in a committed relationship and being married. I’m just worthless I guess and that’s why I want to go ahead and go to heaven now to avoid the pain and loneliness I feel right now. I honestly wish suicide was not a sin in the eyes of the Lord because if it wasn’t then I could go to heaven now and end the pain and suffering and loneliness I feel inside. I am a very loving and affectionate caring man and I love someone with all my heart and soul and I love the Lord even more I wish he would send me someone 😭😭😭😭😭