mumsmentalheathmatters

I think the worse thing about living with mental and physical illnesses when you’re a mum is the uncontrollable guilt.
I don’t know about you, but my wee man is full on! He needs my attention most of the day which means I have to pick and choose wether I use my hours tending to him or wether I use them cleaning the house. In saying that, it’s more him who gets to pick. He chooses the attention every day.

There’s no clean dishes but dinner has been cooked.
There’s crumbs all over the floor but food in his belly.
There’s toys everywhere but he’s learnt how to knock over towers and build them up again.
There’s trails of water through the house but he’s getting on top of sensory issues.

The list goes on and on. I’m tired and I’m frustrated, most days I don’t even feel like I have the right to be. I made him, I made the choice to be a Mother! So why am I finding it so hard?
No matter how hard I try, I still feel myself failing every single day. I still feel so guilty.
I feel like there’s too many hours in a day but not enough time for me to get everything done. I plan to do everything while he sleeps, then find myself sleeping on the couch the second he dozes off. When is it not okay to sleep when he sleeps anymore?
When does the mum guilt subside? Will I ever feel like I’m doing an okay job?
#Mumguilt #mumsmentalheathmatters #Mummyworries #ChronicIllness #Fibromyalgia #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

Your wee one sleeps... you haven't had much rest but feel that you must stay up... just in case anything happens, you know? Silence around you resonates. That and the voices... 'you are not good enough... your baby's not well...'. In the fog you try to see beyond the tears, beyond the loneliness. And here it is... glimmers of light through the trees. After night brighter days await. You will get better. Just reach out. I will touch you. #PND #babiesrock #mumsmentalheathmatters