Mynormal

Okay. I get that people have things worse off than i do. i appreciate the fact that i could be in alot more pain or less mobile or not be able to do other things. I get that.
But living with a condition that is painful 24/7 (#HypermobilitySyndrome ) sucks enough as it is without being made to feel guilty about getting down about it. I appreciate the fact there are others worse off, and im thankful.

But am I not allowed to feel angry, upset, dissapointed, guilty, depressed, held back?
Im allowed to feel those things. Because even though this is #Mynormal, even though im 'used to it', it still sucks, still hurts. And yes. I get angry with myself for not being able to do things, upset because i dont like it stopping me, dissapointed in myself for letting it get to me, guilty for burdening my friends with my feelings and issues.

This is my normal. It sucks.
But i live my life happily, and stay strong, and know that im better off than some people.
Just allow me to feel those things when i need to.

I haven’t posted since finding out my diagnosis because it’s taken some time for me to come to terms with what’s a part of me. It’s a strange sensation... after battling for years to get an accurate diagnosis, getting the answers to my questions, learning why I am the way I am. I feel like a weight has been lifted, but also still feeling crushed at the same time. Yes, I have my diagnosis. But, it’s broken me to be told that recovery is going to be a super long process because medication can’t fix it. So many mental health issues can be helped with medication. Turns out, medication is a waste of time for me. The damage is emotional. It feels great to have some answers, it feels amazing to have things about me finally make some sense. But it hurts to know I’m not going to feel better for a long time. I’ve lost the hope I had that in “4-6 weeks” my dark cloud would get lighter. Medication isn’t my reality. My reality is the early intervention psychological team. Living life with #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder and #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder is my reality. It is #Mynormal. #itsoknotobeok

Love random nerve pain at 4:24am... #fibrosucks
#Mynormal