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    Sorry this is kind of long but I need to get this off my chest. #rant

    Mental Illness is definitely a full time job. I do what I'm supposed to (take my medication and attend therapy) but sometimes it doesn't seem like enough. Some days my mental illnesses get the best of me.

    My #BipolarDisorder was a diagnosis that was hard for me to accept. Up until then, I had never seen a mental health professional. I guess that's because others didn't see anything as wrong.

    Struggling to keep my moods stable is hard enough without the emotional instability of #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder . Honestly, sometimes I hate being so emotionally unstable. My BPD has made me very sensitive to criticism and harsh truths. Even if I need to hear them.

    I also have #PTSD from being sexually abused for a long time. I hate the memories and flashbacks that come with it. I hate the sexual dysfunction that is occurring and how it's impacting my love life. I just want to be free of all this sometimes. Especially the #PTSD . It angers me to think that I developed that because of how someone chose to treat me.

    I can't stand myself sometimes. Some days I just want to hide from the world. I suppose part of me not liking myself comes from the abuse but the emotional instability only makes things worse. The fact that I have survived so much (abuse, abandonment, self-harm and a suicide attempt) should make me feel good about myself, but it doesn't. Anyway, if you made it this far, thanks for reading.

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    Anxiety is making me feel so LOST, so now I'm ranting about it!

    I'm fairly new to this website, but I figured if anyone could help or relate to me, it would be this page! I'm a mom of three, who has probably suffered with mental illness my whole life (just unaware of it, but I've learned so much, and continue to learn as well) and my children are my life, and even though I've made mistakes in the past I've learned that I'm not the same person I once was, because I lacked the knowledge that I now have. My problem now is, that I just feel lost! I'm sure it's the anxiety that keeps me feeling unsure, and having no clue what to do with my life! The more I try to figure it all out, the more I just feel confused and stuck! More than anything in the world, I just want to have a career (that gives me purpose) that not only financially supports us, but makes my kids proud of me! I let them down so many times by not being able to stick with a job, and I just want to feel normal, confident, ambitious, and clear minded. Lord please just tell me the steps I need to take to be able to do all of this, I've pleaded so many times, and maybe one day I'll get my answer lol! The ironic part is that I'm always so good at helping others, but can't seem to ever be able to mentally do it for myself! #Healing #anxietysucks
    #mental illness #venting #mother #lost #Anxiety #Bedtime #alone #Thoughts #rant #

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    × " A Rough Day At Work " × 🤬😡 #rant #Stressedout

    × " Today Was Full Of Unexpected Thing's To Do. I Was Doing What I Normally Do Is Set Up And Make Fresh Tortilla's. All Day I Was Getting Bossed Around By Diffrent People. Who Were Not My Boss Today. And I Took Out A Massive Amount Of Trash. And Cleaned The Dine-In Area Again. I Also Made And Order Of 600 Tortilla's. So I'm Exhausted AF. End Of Rant... × Sincerly, ☆ S. K. ☆

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    × " Today Was An Eventful Day " ×

    × " Work Was Super Busy...Today We Open The Dine-In Section On Tuesday's...Wednesday's...Thursday's... And People Are Still Super Entitled × Rude Etc. I Got Yelled At By A Demanding Customer. Tbh I Just Told Her That The Dine In Area Had Just Closed. And To Go Thru The Drive Thru. She Gave Me A Bad Look And Walked Away. Well These Are The Rule's Some Restaurant's. Are Like This. Plus My Job Has Only 13 Employee's Working The Whole Restaurant. Idk Why People Feel And Act This Way It Need's To STOP!"...Alot Of People From California Have Clogged Up The Austin Area. Everything Is Insanely Expensive Now. You Litterly Can't Afford A Home Here Anymore. But Again " HUMANITY " Need's A Rest Button.Oh And We Had A Power Outage For A Few Minute's That Was An Experience. × Sincerely, ☆ S. K. ☆ #rant

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    × " Where Has All Of "HUMANITY" Gone." × #ExhaustingDay #rant

    × " Hello There Peep's... So I'm A Bit Tierd As I Type This Up... Today I Had A Very Busy Productive Day. Currently At My Job We Are Severely Short Staffed. So I Was The Litter Picker Upper 🤣🤣🤣🤬🤢🤮😔. Because It Was Very Windy Outside. So I Did Go Clean Up Trash. And Then Here Come 5 Rude Af Customer's. Acting Very Entitled AF. Yelling x Demanding To Be Served Immediately. Like Hello There's A Huge Sign That Litterly Read's. " DRIVE THRU ONLY " × " ONLINE ORDER'S ONLY". Nope Sadly People Who Act Like This Cry x Constantly Want Other's To " RESPECT " Them At All Time's. It Doesn't Work That Way Anymore. You Have To Work On Earning The Respect x It's "NOT" Given For Free. So Yeah Customer's Piss Me Off Today. And Are Sloppy AF. My Rant Is Over. Take Care Mightie's x Sincerly, ☆☆ S. K. ☆☆ #rant #ExhaustingDay

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    Autism isn’t only a male condition! 😤

    So for the last 2-4 years I have been contemplating an Autism Diagnosis.
    This gets tricky and challenging as a female…
    As,
    A lot of the research focuses on how the spectrum presents in males.

    Which is likely why every doctor I’ve spoken to says “you don’t seem Autistic” and doesn’t even take a second to listen to my social proof OR be willing to even get what the concept of masking is!

    I’m feeling at my wits end.
    I will get my diagnosis one way or another— I have 5,000 words compiled of my plethora of “symptoms” it’s weird calling them symptoms but that’s just me.

    I no longer feel the Bipolar diagnosis can apply to me. It isn’t mine and it doesn’t fit.
    I am a person with autism, it’s ridiculously evident and makes me cry in great pain thinking of all the signs.
    All of the signs my neurodivergent self has presented constantly!
    But no they want to just stick me on drugs I guess 🤷‍♀️

    I am sad that I have to prove myself to people who are supposed to listen.
    I am angry that no one noticed how much of a struggle life is for me- NO it’s not just anxiety!

    I want the label! I want to be seen as who I am inside my differently abler brain.
    I want an explanation for my isolation, alienation and, suffering.
    I want to know that I’m not just a failed wrong human who doesn’t fit but am a product of my brain being wired differently!

    — Bridie, out ✌️

    #rant #Autism #femaleautistic #ASD #sad #disapointedinmedicalprofessionals

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    x IS IT HORRIBLE TO FEEL VERY DISCONNECTED FROM FAMILY MEMBER'S ? x # T.W. 🚨 #MentalHealth

    x EVER SINCE MY DAD DIED FROM CANCER. I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ALONE. I HAVE NEVER FELT CONNECTION'S WITH MY MOTHER. AND NOW MY SIBLING'S. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE NO ONE. I DIDN'T HAVE A REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOTHER SHE WAS VERBALLY & PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE TOWARD'S ME AND MY TWIN BROTHER. AND EVER SINCE I WAS SEXUALLY ASSAULTED. IT'S LIKE I CAN'T MAKE ANY KIND OF A CONNECTION WITH ANY HUMAN. I'M FINE WITH JUST TALKING TO OTHER'S ONLINE. BUT IN REAL LIFE I DREAD COMMUNICATION WITH MY OWN ADOPTED FAMILY. AND THEY GET MAD AT ME FOR NOT TALKING. WELL WHO WOULD WANT TO TALK TO ANY FAMILY MEMBER'S. WHO DON'T LISTEN. TO WHAT I'M SAYING.. I'M LIKE ALWAY'S TALKING TO WALL'S ABOUT MY MENTAL HEALTH. AND IF I SAY THAT I HAVE #P .T.S.D x #s .A.D x # DEPRESSION x #Anxiety DISORDER'S. I'M TOLD THAT I'M MAKING UP THING'S AND THAT I'M NOT SICK. MY FAMILY DOESN'T BELIEVE IN #mental ILLNESS IT'S A STIGMA! THEN WHAT DO YOU CALL A # LEARNING DISABILITIES. I SWEAR SOMETIME'S. I CAN'T TALK TO PEOPLE ANYMORE. #rant

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    Picking up the pieces

    Its been over 6 months since my psychotic break and first manic episode. I lost my job, all my savings I spent buying crypto and the saddest of all, I lost some friends. Where to from here? I've been depressed for months, everything is so hard to do. I stay in bed until noon, I cancel plans because my anxiety gets the best of me, I just feel aimless and worthless.

    The worst is knowing that half a year of my life is lost and the fear that this loss of time will continue and extend fuels the never ending cycle of mental torment. I know what I need to do to pick up the pieces and get back to my life before this diagnosis, I need to get a job, exercise, communicate with loved ones etc. But its no longer the what, its how.

    How do I get by old self back? the happy go lucky, smart and charismatic woman that I was. I felt the biggest thing I lost during this time is myself, I lost my motivation, my purpose and my intelligence. I'm not a sharp shooter as I once was and it has left me feeling utterly displaced.

    My psychiatrist says I'm still in the recovery phase, I don't accept this. I'm just frustrated that I can't seem to pick up the pieces. #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #rant

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    True life - It isn't all roses, all the time🌹

    The #struggle is real... 💜

    When I first joined #themighty I wanted to try and remain as #positive as possible, creating #conversations and asking questions and getting advice from you guys that would in turn help me navigate the life of #fibromyalgiasyndrome 🙏🏻

    I am in the first year of suffering with widespread #ChronicPain every day that I wake up, it even keeps me from sleeping at this point #painsomnia

    As well as only being #diagnosed for around five months, it's like a rollercoaster ride that I can't seem to keep up with but... With many more lows than highs 🎢

    I am alternating between #insomnia and I seemed to have developed some kind of #tinnitus that rages away in my head 24 hours a day! And being so #fatigued that I cannot physically keep my eyes open; when this happens I do not eat, I do not get dressed, I do not look after myself, in fact the most I can do on these days is go to the bathroom and back to #bed

    I feel so #upset and occasionally #angry that I'm doing the bare minimum... Sometimes not even that! And I'm still #struggling 😢

    My doctor checks in about once a month to extend to my sick note, reorder my medications ALL of which are #anxiety and #Depression related with no strong course of #Pain relief or any pain relief at all I am told to just stick with over the counter and to take them "as and when"

    I am supposed to have appointments with the pain clinic but I'm still waiting...
    I have reached out to an ME/Fibromyalgia support group local to me; but I'm still waiting...
    I just feel like I'm getting #worse and all I can do is #wait for the #help to come and find me. I barely have the #energy to #fight and I don't have the #knowledge to know where to go from here

    I know its still early days and many other people with #Fibromyalgia have had better and worse days and that it is a journey BUT my goodness this is hard! I just want to sleep and to not wake up because it all seems so overwhelming right now 😴

    I don't even know where I'm going with this #post but I just felt as though I needed to let it out on a platform that is #caring and #understanding and has helped me feel like I #belong for the first time in a long time so thank you to anyone who has interacted with me and giving me #advice it really is appreciated!

    Now I know why many of you go by "Fibromyalgia Warriors"... It's so true; every day is a battle with your own body... Except you're losing 😣

    Hoping for better days to come! Today is not one of them and I need to remind myself that it's OK. But more often than not when you're deep in the thick of it, it becomes hard to see the light

    Trying to be positive but some days it's much harder to reach. And even if no one reads this I'm just glad to get it off my chest 💜

    #Fatigue #tired #Lowmood #MentalHealth #OnedayAtaTime #paingry #rant #paragraph #dayinthelife #honest #hopeful

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    Paralyzed in Depression

    I've never been this Stuck before in several years. Suffering from a mood disorder is a daily struggle - I didn't even want to post this.

    But I've been trying to get the balls to just post! It's like the 100 pound telephone ☎️ why can't I just ask for help and admit I'm struggling.

    Since the beginning of the Pandemic, I've been home 24/7, unemployed, and sick. I found out that I have Ankylosing Spondylitis, had surgery on my neck,

    (even as I'm writing this I'm thinking to myself: "stfu whiney girl"...not healthy at all, yet I keep doing it!), moved, and I have done a ridiculous amount of writing that I Still haven't posted yet.

    Why? Because I'm scared. Scared of what? The honest answer: I'm afraid of starting something that I'll be responsible for and if I don't stay on my A game I could easily lose it.

    WHAT??!!

    Yep, that's it. I'm afraid of being held accountable, because I know how much pressure it brings. This is what my depression tells me.

    I'm paralyzed with brain fog and pain and it's exacerbating my Depression.

    I need a really good slap in the face or a cold shower.

    #rant #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #Depression #BipolarDisorder #ChronicPain