Needquiet

I can't settle tonight despite the enormous amounts of drugs I've taken to sleep. My body keeps moving with #Restless Legs Syndrom e and #ADHD . My mind will not let go of anything since early this afternoon. I can't relax, I can't just sit and do anything, I can't focus and I can't concentrate. My emotions are a mess with varying degrees of feelings that I'm supposed to know what to do with and I don't. I'm just writing this down so I can keep moving. It's not the Friday night I had planned. I put on quiet music hoping that would help--but nothing is working. It all makes me want to die and #Suicide is never far from who I am and what I want to do. For tonight I will take a few more pills, not enough to be gone, but enough to settle, I hope.. #fridaynight #Needquiet #hopeless