hopeless

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Community Voices
A J

What if it never gets better?

I did have optimism when I was younger but that’s probably because youth came with immaturity and a sense of being naive. Fast forward to the present time, I feel completely different due to many life’s circumstances and changes. My nonchalant attitude and numbness to everything has taken me out of life’s reality for the most part.

Now I feel comfortable in my depression and don’t want to let it go. I’m not sure if I should navigate through this or just let it be?
#Depression #numb #hopeless #MensMentalHealth

12 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Hopeless

I don’t blame anyone. I did this to myself. It’s my fault. Everything is my fault. I m sorry mom for not being the perfect daughter you’ve always wanted. I’ve lost control again and all my dreams are going away. #Depression #Anxiety #Selfblame #Selfharm #IfYouFeelHopeless #hopeless

45 people are talking about this
Community Voices

HELP

I have been married (luckily) for 14 years to the most wonderful woman on earth. That being said because of suffering with BPD/ADHD/bipolar 1/paranoia/severe anxiety I have completely broken this wonderful woman down again and again.
I have also had pornagraphy problem since I was about 13. She has caught me multiple times but I was too ashamed to fess up, due to fear and embarrassment. Our struggles have always been able to be worked through some what.

Well last night I tried something daring and extremely hard for me. I want to get better so I wanted to talk to my wife about everything I have done to her and finally truly deal with it. Long story short it all came out how much I was watching porn. All she saw was 14 years of her life wasted on me( a liar, monster, demon, worthless and will never change). All I want to do now is just die already and give this world and especially her a life that's better without me. I am in great need here, all my previous cuts and suicide attempts have been from rage or blackouts. This feeling is so overwhelming I just can't.
Also these 2 post I have put up have my anxiety through the roof. I want to get better and be the Godly husband she needs. But now it's just hopeless and I don't think I can do this suffering anymore. This is what I get for going outside my comfort zone #hopeless #BPD

7 people are talking about this
Community Voices

I need some ideas about how to help with the pain, is there anything I can do at home that can help? Any tricks of the trade so to speak?

I’ve been in so much pain for years and issues with my other illnesses (I have POTS, fibromyalgia and severe gluten intolerance) and in the past 5 years it’s progressively going from bad to unbearable. I can’t work right now it’s so bad and where I used a wheelchair for things like shopping and days out before, I’m using it all the time. I just don’t know what to do. #ChronicPain #hopeless

1 person is talking about this
Community Voices

A bad night last night.

Last night I had a total meltdown. I sobbed and was seriously thinking of just taking all of the pills that are supposed to help me at once.

The anxiety of life is crippling me. My significant other has traded me for his addictions, my oldest is leaving the best, and I was in a bad car accident that has me terrified to be in a car.

I seldom leave my room, let alone the house. The hopelessness was overpowering. I didn't do anything of course, as I wouldn't be writing this if I had, but what do you do when meds, counseling, and all of the things I'm supposed to do aren't working? #Depression #Anxiety #hopeless

12 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Eating disorder impact on family

I’m really struggling with my eating disorder and have been for a while now. I also have bpd and my self esteem is rock bottom. I live with my family and have been arguing with them so badly recently. They are worried about me and cannot cope with it and say I aren’t helping myself and need to meet them half way. I just don’t feel like I deserve to or need to eat. I use it as self harm and I feel so alone. No one seems to get that it not as simple as clicking my fingers and I can just manage 3 square meals a day. The meer thought of it is totally overwhelming and I’m at a point where I just don’t want to be here any more but I have to be for the people that care about me. I’m so sick and tired of living this life. I’m trapped. #EatingDisorders #BPD #EUPD emotionally unstable personality disorder #Selfharm #Restriction #hopeless #Depression #Family #alone

Community Voices
bluu

Such a hard week

From a creepy old man I was starting to trust sending me inappropriate messages to an appeal hearing to the risk of losing an income to a disagreement with a friend to a visit from a cop with bad news to a huge trigger of past trauma to extreme loneliness. I am extremely dysregulated and having trouble pulling it together. A stone’s throw away from dark thoughts I don’t want to have. Holding onto hope that the new job will remedy most of this.

But also constantly feeling on the verge of a breakdown because it feels like the bad never stops and that it’s always been this way and always will be this way.

Therapists refuse to work with me so I can’t get help. It’s hard to get the anxiety pills that help me so I undertake them to save them for the really rough times or important events.

Im starting to feel the cracks. I’m starting to wonder if I’m hitting the breaking point in my life where my mental health goes to the point that it’s disabling. I almost want it to so I can just stop trying to do what everyone else does.

I am just so very exhausted.

#PTSD #OCD #hopeless

10 people are talking about this
Community Voices

A joke

My last post was like 2 or 3 days before my gf broke up with me. Since then I’ve moved out of our apartment, back to my parents house and the first day back at work after moving I was laid off from my job. I feel like I lost my gf, one of the dogs we shared, my apartment and then my job all at the same time. And at this point I absolutely feel like the universe hates me. #Selfblame #Depression #sad #hopeless

2 people are talking about this
Community Voices

Post-traumatic growth / The overwhelming weight of "potential"

<p>Post-traumatic growth / The overwhelming weight of "potential"</p>
4 people are talking about this
Community Voices

How much longer??

I’ve been in this same stupid depressive episode for SEVEN months now… I’ve lost EVERYTHING. My home I worked so hard to buy is about to go to foreclosure and I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to box up and remove my family’s belongings to put in storage. My car is paid off so I have that but it desperately needs repairs I can’t afford. I haven’t worked since December and I’m flat broke. I’be been staying with a family friend for the past 4 months because I can’t bare to stay at home with all the memories of who I once was. My 9 yr old son has been staying with his grandparents because I can’t even take care of him. Everyday is only a day of survival. I’m not living… at all. The days are all the same. I wake up with immense dread, anxiety, depression, and above all guilt. I hate the days as I can’t do anything but sit here. I welcome the nights as I can finally go to sleep and dream… in my dreams I feel normal and all is ok. But as soon as I open my eyes, reality is there to remind me of everything I am or better yet all that I’m not and all that I’ve lost. I miss being alive. Most of all I miss being a mother. I’m scared I’m stuck like this forever. I don’t see an end. 7 months… of this. Of hell. Of misery and pain. The darkness has won. It’s swallowed me whole. I’m paralyzed and stuck in this awful rut of survival. I’ve lost everything. I’ve lost my entire life. I’m now a shadow of once was. I didn’t deserve this. Out of nowhere my life was taken from me… just ripped away. All to friggin depression… and I don’t see any way out.
#MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #hopeless #depressiontookmylife #thereisnolight #lifeless #idontdeservethis

33 people are talking about this