oblivious

I truly honestly feel like this world will be better without me. I’ve never felt so empty and alone like I do right now. My face is stained with tears , my mind is blank , I really want to be self destructive. Would my family really miss me ? The signs are always right there for them to see. #oblivious my depression has always been a problem. Medicine doesn’t work. Nothing else does either. I just wanna be with my grandma #jesustakethewheel

I think my stress and anxiety mixed with the fact I keep getting sick lately have caused me to be a bit forgetful and oblivious I’d something. I keep leaving things behind in places where I will never get them back (because stupid college students don’t turn anything in to lost and found).
this morning, I find myself locked out of my house and my running car, waiting for someone to be available to come help me because I can’t mentally handle calling a complete stranger to break into my car for me, especially when I know my best friend has a spare key and she gets off work in a half hour, only a half mile away from where I am.
so I’m sitting outside while it’s snowing, grateful I put on my better coat and hat today, wishing I wasn’t such a mess.

but at least my car will be warm when I finally get inside, and it’s kind of satisfying to watch the snow melt off the windows...
#Anxiety #oblivious #Forgetful