Hello. I’ve used this app many years ago and have found myself in need of help I can’t seem to get myself. Recently my husband did a think that put me back into a triggered state I had entirely blacked out and didn’t think I’d have to deal with again. While trying to cope with this I can’t talk about it with him as it will make my off based emotion a much bigger thing than it is. I just can’t afford a therapist. A few days go buy and I’m finding a need is not being met by my husband and I have a direct conversation with him, he seems empathetic and felt bad. Yet no immediate change just him “feeling sorry”. I’m not realizing how alone I am in this world. I do not have a single friend anymore to talk to. Not one. I’m fighting a panic attack as I write this because I’ve never felt more alone in my life and I have to pull myself together and be a mom.

I have always been suicidal since I was a kid and now that I’m an adult I have the means to do so.

I love my husband and I love my baby. I don’t want to leave this world but part of me really does and that part may win soon.