Marriage

I used to stay with my husband at his parents' house. Since the very first day of our marriage his mother started interfering in our life. From knocking at our door at 8 in the morning to wake me up to giving us instructions on how to "behave" as a "decent couple" in front of others to putting restrictions on where we went and by what time we returned, she controlled every aspect of our marriage. As a new bride I put up with her shit for 2 months but later I started getting uncomfortable in the relationship. I started feeling like a puppet.

When I told my husband about this, he completely dismissed me saying that that's how his mother is and there's nothing wrong with that. We had several fights over his mother's controlling behavior as he repeatedly refused to understand my perspective or do anything about it. It got to a point where I started losing feelings for him. Everything felt forced. I told him that it feels like we've lost the spark which pissed him off and he blamed me for it.

He never took responsibility for his lack of action, he never tried to acknowledge let alone fix what was wrong, he ignored all my attempts to explain how I was feeling, he entirely dismissed my feelings, and when things got out of hand he blamed me for everything.

That was not it, despite me begging him to not involve his parents in our issues (as it would make things worse), he went and did exactly that. He said every little thing about me to his mother. He disclosed my deepest secrets to them. After which his toxic family went around bad mouthing me to my relatives. They came over to my house and insulted me in front of everyone.

I was traumatized after all this. I wanted to end things with him. But my family told me to not make any hasty decisions. So I decided to give my marraige another chance. I did my best to forget everything and start over with him, I made several attempts to fix things, but it did not move him a bit. He still blames me for everything. Whenever I try to be affectionate he dismisses me as if I never did any good to him. Its been a month and his behavior towards me is still cold.

I've been reading about narcissists, and I'm pretty sure his parents are narcissists. I'm not sure if his behaviour makes him a narcissist too but every time he gives me a cold shoulder, I think he could be one.

How long should I keep putting up with cold behavior and lack of remorse? Is it healthy to continue being in such a marriage?

#Anxiety #Marriage #Relationships #ToxicMarriage

I was sexually abused throughout my younger childhood. I have now been married to my husband for 10 years. I told him for the first time that I was sexually abused as a child. It’s been five days he won’t talk to me. He’s very upset at me that I have not mentioned this. I feel so helpless. I wish I would’ve never said anything. What do I do and where do I go? #Marriage #ChildhoodAbuse #Trauma

If you are afflicted with cPTSD, I strongly suggest any of the books by Pete Walker. Aside, relationships are problematic for us so what happens if your relationship is with an abusive bipolar partner? The abuse was verbal, mental, emotional not nearly what I experienced as a child, but it feels just as bad. Upon telling this to my therapist he declared that is one of the reasons I’m not ready to divorce said partner. I caught my partner sneaking through my phone in the middle of the night and that, as difficult as it was, gave me the chance to set my boundaries and take my Self back. We had been sleeping separately and I did tell him we are not together, I have never told him we are now together but since then he has had medical reasons for needing to sleep in our shared bed. I permitted this as long as we had clear space separation and now he is trying to wiggle back in to my life as if nothing happened. I do not trust this man, and I feel as scared to speak to him as I would my father. Again, my therapist says this is a reason I’m not ready to divorce him. My question is, should I get a new therapist? This man had abused me for 15 years and he insists that even if I’m to divorce, this isn’t the right time I’m not stable enough. I feel very sure about this… #Advise #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #BipolarDisorder #spouse #ChildhoodAbuse #Marriage #Therapist

He would like for you to have a mild tone when starting conversations, prefer you give a request rather than demand, and accept that ADHD spouse has a right to his opinion, whether or not you like them.

Don't set up a dynamic in which your spouse feels he can never do well enough for you. Even though you may feel like he makes some childish decisions, still give him some responsibilities ones you feel he can handle and when he advances, then congratulate him and give him more responsibilities, after a few years you will view him as the potential man you married. Then your respect levels for him will go up. #ADHD #adhdwomen #adhdmen #Marriage #Respect

For me 2 weeks after a huge blowout… we r at least talking… small talk, nothing g real important, but talking at least! It makes me “scared” “happy” “cautious” “worried” but mostly “glad”! How about any of you? Hoping yours is more along the lines of “planning a trip together” “went out for a nice dinner” “cuddle on the couch” ….. tell me some good happy stories!! #marriageishard #Communication #ChronicIllness #Marriage

Hi all! Hope everyone is well and safe 🙂 And taking good care of themselves.

I really dont know who I can talk too except you all awesome people over here.

I seen my doctor last week. He missed out a medication when I over to see him. When its the night, at around 8+pm, I was about to take my night medication and retire for the night, I found out one of the medication was missing and thats was my sleeping aid.

There is no way I could get to him, expect writing to him. I thought he wanted to stop me for that medication as I am starting work next Monday.

So, I just wrote to him and I went to have my shower.

He wrote to me and called me from his clinic.

He send the medication down personally to my home. He asked me whether my husband will throw a tantrum or get upsets if he does so. I said no ( this is as I have shared alot of my issues between me and husband with him. My age gap with my husband is 17 years. I am his 2nd wife)

He bumped into my husband at the carpark. As he asked which block is mine located at. My husband then asked him is he my doctor. My husband said is okay, he can take it from there and he will bring the medication up to me.

But my doctor insisted on walking my husband up to my unit and passed it personally to me.

To be honest, I’m really touched by his gesture as it was coming to midnight then.

I dont like and have the habit of troubling people when I can pick it up tomorrow from the clinic as I will be near.

I told the doctor that I can picked it up tomorrow from the clinic. He said its alright and its not right for me to pick it up as its his fault.

I have this dream of going through a very long and dimmed tunnel, with just a torch in hand. I had to crawl, for what I remember for around 10-15 minutes to the end. The one receiveing me at the end is a new doctor at his practise ( which is a female doctor ) she then helped me out from the tunnel and handed me to my doctor.

My doctor then asked me can i hold your hand? I said yes of course. And we started chatting while we are spinning? ( sounds dramatic) and it ended up with me hugging him with a arm at his waist. He kept talking about all my problems which I am facing and he said he will take good care of me. While at the other end, his nurses all are staring at me with envy.

I have issues with my husband, we are not intimate for around a year. He has problems lasting or rather getting it up. It really turns me off. I told him to seek professional help. He scolds me and said it is a shame to speak to a doctor and seeking help for that issue. I no longer feel close to him. I no longer hold or hug him. He disgusts me. I no longer wear my wedding ring on my finger- the reason i gave him, my fingers are bloated. I know i am not attracted as compared to me in my 20s. But at least i make an effort to dress and look good when i go out. He doesnt.

I dont bring him and hang out with my friends. As most of my friends spouses are around my age range. My husband temper is getting from bad to worst and i dont know why.

Only a few of my best friends have met him. As for the rest of my friends. They know that I am married, as for who is is my husband, still remains a mystery.

Thank you for hearing me out ❤️ stay safe!

#Psychiatrist #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #PanicDisorder #SleepDisorders