Relationships and BPD
Hello all! When I was first diagnosed with BPD I made a personal goal of not dating anyone for at least one year. At the time I had no idea why, but I was ending a 4 year relationship and another romance fling had left me empty right before the diagnosis. At that time I was in ruins.
It will be 6 months in May and while there were times in these longs days all I wantEd to do is date or fantasize About being in a relationship, instead I kept strong in therapy and dbt.
Today I was Thinking about one of the symptoms of bpd that is the worst for me, lack of personal identity and it dawned on me how this has effected my relationships, especially romantical types. I identified that I used these relationships to try to identify who I was and became completely enmeshed with these people. I was hoping that being with them could give me the identity I was looking for and the solace of belonging. When that didnt come I was besides myself and felt abandoned, destroying the relationship before it destroyed me.
I know I still have a long way to go, but today I feel a glimmer of hope in knowing that I will one day have a solid sense of identity and have a healthy romantic relationship.
#oneyearsingle #personalgoal #halfwaythere #makingprogess #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth