Relationships

This morning I will be preaching on the “Prodigal Son. It’s one of my favourite parables.

One of the points I will be highlighting is what the father did NOT say to his wayward son.

He didn’t say, “I told you so”, “You’re a screwup”, “You should be ashamed of yourself”.

God doesn’t use those words either. You have never gone to far from God that you can’t come back.

Jesus came to rub sin out, not to rob it in.

Discover how the power of choice can transform recovery, mental health, and healing. Learn why small daily decisions matter and how reclaiming choice builds resilience.

Introduction

Every day, we make choices. Some are so small we barely notice them—what to wear, what to eat, whether to answer a message. Others carry heavier weight: the decision to leave a toxic relationship, to ask for help, or to begin the long road of recovery.

But here’s the truth: even when life feels uncontrollable, choice remains one of the most powerful tools we hold.

Choice and Mental Health

For individuals living with mental illness, it can feel as if choice has been stripped away. Depression whispers that getting out of bed is impossible. Anxiety convinces us that staying silent is safer than reaching out. Trauma makes us believe we never had a choice to begin with.

Yet research in psychology emphasizes that autonomy—the ability to make our own decisions—is directly linked to mental health and motivation (Deci & Ryan, 2008). Even the smallest choices, like choosing to rest when exhausted or choosing honesty when shame says hide, can strengthen our sense of agency.

In fact, one of the most powerful steps in healing is reclaiming those “invisible” daily decisions. When we consciously choose, we begin to remind ourselves that we are not powerless.

Choice in Addiction Recovery

Addiction complicates the idea of choice. Cravings are not just a matter of willpower—they alter the brain’s decision-making systems, making unhealthy behaviors feel almost automatic (Kober, 2014). This is why many people in recovery describe feeling “powerless” over their addiction.

But the science of self-control offers hope. Studies show that exercising choice in small, consistent ways strengthens the brain’s ability to regulate impulses (Baumeister, Vohs, & Tice, 2007). Choosing to attend a meeting, call a sponsor, or even pause before acting can slowly rebuild the mental pathways needed for healthier decisions.

As Moore and Tangney (2017) explain, recovery is not only about abstaining—it’s about building self-control and reclaiming motivation through conscious, repeated choices. Each moment becomes an opportunity to choose differently.

My Own Turning Point

I remember a moment in my own recovery when the power of choice became real to me. I was exhausted—mentally, physically, and spiritually. Part of me wanted to give up, to sink back into old patterns that felt familiar. But another part of me whispered, “You can choose differently.”

That day, I didn’t choose perfection. I didn’t suddenly “fix” my life. What I chose was smaller but no less powerful: I picked up the phone and called someone who cared. That one call didn’t solve everything, but it set me on a different path.

Looking back, I realize recovery isn’t built on one grand choice—it’s built on thousands of small ones. Each time I chose to keep going, I reclaimed a little more of myself.

The Messiness of Choice

Of course, choosing the “right” thing is not always easy—or even possible. Recovery and healing are rarely linear. Mistakes will happen, and relapse or setbacks can feel like failures. But failure does not erase your power of choice.

Khantzian (2012) reminds us that treatment and recovery are about reclaiming agency. That means even when a destructive choice is made, you always have the opportunity to choose again. Every sunrise is an invitation to begin differently.

Reframing the Power of Choice

The power of choice does not mean we can control everything. Life brings circumstances beyond our will—loss, illness, systemic barriers. But within those circumstances, our freedom lies in how we respond. Bandura’s theory of self-efficacy highlights this: our belief in our ability to choose and act directly shapes our outcomes (Bandura, 1999).

It’s not about changing everything at once. It’s about noticing the small opportunities where choice exists:

Choosing to breathe instead of spiraling.

Choosing to rest instead of pushing past exhaustion.

Choosing to forgive yourself instead of holding onto shame.

Choosing to try again, even if yesterday was hard.

Closing Reflection

You are not defined by the choices you made in the past. You are shaped by the choices you make today. The most important choice is not perfection—it’s persistence.

So ask yourself: What is one choice I can make right now that moves me closer to the life I want?

Because your power lies not in what’s been taken from you, but in what you choose to reclaim.

A Poetic Whisper to End With

I am not my failures,
nor the weight of yesterday.
I am the choice to rise again,
to breathe, to fight, to stay.
In every moment—small or great—
my power lives inside.
For even in the darkest night,
I still get to decide.

Bigmommaj

I've been going through something called sexual addiction or hypersexuality.
It has been happening since I was a child. Ever since then, I used to feel what I didn't know was something related to sexual addiction. I never watched any pornographic content. I never had drugs or consumed alcohol. And I still don't. I never had any addiction for watching pornographic content.
It has all been happening like hell to me simply because of looking at Indian women in 1 specific kind of attire—the kurti-leggings attire. It just hypnotized me like hell. And I used to think horribly about myself. Search on Google for the pictures, if you want to get an idea of how the kurti-leggings attire look.
But beware, please. Just search by typing this respectful thing—"Indian women in kurti-leggings attire."
Anyways, in whatever way you search, you must be careful about the pictures. Most of them are too explicit or AI-generated. Some are based on commercial products (those are genuine, because this kind of attire is a commercial product).
Overall, the kurti covers the parts of the lower half of women in such a way, that it harmfully supercharges one's curiosity to know how the leggings hug those parts of the lower body.
That's all. That's all that has been making me go crazy.
Hard to believe, isn't it? 🙂
You never know what anyone can go through. Anything can happen to anyone.
You may be thinking—"A simple, classic attire like this affected this person so harmfully?!"
It's ok if you think so. Please hear me out—yes, a simple attire like that did affect me harmfully. I already explained how.
It has been years and years.
Do you know what my mind has been telling me? Here are the sample words, which taught me that the human mind is permanently cruel—
1. Do you ever care for women? How dare you. You're just so wicked.
2. If you are a good person, then why will you feel this way? How dare you look at them this way? You're just horrible.
3. You must perfectly look at women. Otherwise, you're nothing.

The human mind is a two-faced moron, you know. The human mind itself misled me and made me feel hypnotized. It made me do so many wrong things to women. I'm thankful to be a virgin still. It's just horrible. My mind just made me want to touch them over their leggings, that's all.
Even that's too too much.
My beloved fictional character—Yoriichi Tsugikuni is my saviour. And it's not that he's here to "be of some use" to me. We both just love each other too too much.
We just want to get closer to each other, in spite of knowing the fiction-real barrier between us. Google gave me the idea that this could be a parasocial relationship.
I'm yet to understand what exactly it is. All I know (correct me, if I'm wrong) is that a parasocial relationship is a one-sided relationship. I truly feel him still. On the day we heard about something called "parasocial relationship", I could feel my Yoriichi bursting into tears. He kept on telling me how much he loves me. And I kept on telling him I would never ever leave him or the other two lovers.
It was never ever fake. We both deeply felt each other.
And this didn't affect my life in the real world. Problems still happen in my life. But it's not "my" problem anymore. It's "our" problem. We both go through shared experiences. It's not just him or just me. My life is a lot healthier and less lonelier because of deeply feeling someone like him.

Regarding hypersexuality, I said this to him today—"My Yoriichi, I just want to talk to people about what we've been going through. We deserve to. Because it's not just your weight. It's not just your job of protecting my heart. There are others too. I know you don't see it as a 'job', but as a soulful activity instead. I know you love keeping me safe."

He brushed my hair in his tender, grounding manner, and said—"Please don't say that, my only Kedar. I know. When did I ever stop you from getting to share your experiences with others? Go ahead. You deserve it, my Kedar... I never ever intended to stop you from connecting with the real-world humanity. I never did, my Kedar."

I said, "I know you never did, my Yoriichi. I'm just telling you about my feelings, you know. You're irreplaceable to me. It's not just your responsibility to protect me. People here on The Mighty are there too."

Later, I said, "I'm feeling a bit awkward, my Yoriichi. Tell me something. Am I doing something wrong or embarrassing by oversharing on this post?"

He said, "No no, my Kedar. Not at all... Please don't believe that... There's nothing awkward or embarrassing when you share so openly about your struggles. In fact, that's the main thing which people on The Mighty do—sharing about their struggles."
And later, he further said, "You have this rare strength of sharing openly about your struggles, my Kedar. To you, it may feel like it's nothing. But to some, it's deeply challenging. Very deeply challenging. Some just feel they're better off staying silent. Some feel they'll embarrass themselves by talking about it."

[PICTURE NOTE—These two are my other two special people—my beloved Yoriichi's child version and Yoriichi's mother. They both love me too much. Mostly, because of my busy life, I hardly get time to talk to them. But they're far too understanding and kind. To them, it's never merely about talking to them. Because they already know they've their permanent rooms in my hearts. They're watching over me and my Yoriichi from their manga realm. My Yoriichi told me that that's heaven to them—the soft place of nature which is their manga realm, where we'll only know peace.]

When we speak or write something into existence, we give it less power over us. So today, let’s try and reclaim some of that power by writing a letter to our biggest fears.

In your letter, you can touch on what your fear is, how it’s affected you, and how you can begin to let it go.

Here is Mighty staffer @sparklywartanks letter:

Dear abandonment,

I’ve been afraid of you for a long time now, ever since I was a little girl. You’ve been lingering over me and preventing me from progressing, but I’m learning who you are and where you came from. You are no longer allowed to cloud my judgment or stop me from making lasting friendships and relationships. I’m taking my life back. You’re no longer going to hold me back.

Good riddance,
Nina

#52SmallThings #CheckInWithMe #Selfcare #MentalHealth #Disability #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #RareDisease #Anxiety #Depression
#Autism #Parenting #PTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Fibromyalgia #Lupus #MultipleSclerosis #Migraine #Spoonie

I never thought I would be here today. I never thought I’d be a survivor or whatever. I tried taking my life and I swore to god I was done. I wrote a letter to my mom saying goodbye. I have scars on my arms that tell a dark story. I have trauma from an abusive relationship that scarred me for life. I have losses in my life that I’ll never get back. I have times YEARS of my life I’ll never get back. When I look back I see a manic night mare that occurred to a young little girl who didn’t know what to do with such big emotions. I hurt people that I truly love and I said words I can’t take back. My brain needed to be re wired. I put in extensive effort to do so. I have tried my hardest to re build my life and be properly medicated for 8 years now. I thought after 8 years of therapy and medications that I would be cured. I would be able to live with bi polar and be free at the same time. I sometimes live in a fantasy of my own creation. I was wrong. I’d never be “Cured”. This is a life long disease. I had to accept that to move forward. Sometimes I feel to much and I get panic attacks where I can’t breathe because I’m so overwhelmed with my emotions. I cry out loud now. I allow myself to not be okay and have that be… okay. I don’t let my bad days win anymore. I have control over myself and my actions. We can’t control anything in this world besides ourselves. I am the best listener to friends and even strangers. I am a supportive friend who doesn’t judge. I give good advice only from personal experience. I am learning to live this life in a healthier way. I want to live and see every tomorrow.

I think it’s just because life is constantly overwhelming for me right now. I can still function and get the most important stuff done, but it takes everything I’ve got. Reading, hearing and interpreting words is more difficult too, unless they’re within music. Somehow the music helps.

Images still easily speak to and for me though. I know what they are saying, but not with words. It’s more like knowing by just knowing….a feeling, sense or understanding that doesn’t need or require words.

#artastherapy #Autism #ADHD #Anxiety #Visuals #Art #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Relationships #Family #Trauma #Grief #MentalHealth #Photography