Join the Conversation on
67.4K people
0 stories
37K posts
  • About Relationships
  • Explore Our Newsletters
  • What's New in Relationships

    Struggling/Lost #frustrated

    I feel so lost and like I'm struggling right now. I really am. Once again, my emotions got me in trouble. I don't like fighting with people but I have this terrible habit of shutting people out. I suppose it's due to a lack of role models when it came to modeling emotions or the simple fact that I was abused. Whatever the case may be I am so disgusted with myself. I know people mean well when they want to talk to me when I'm upset but for whatever reason I'd rather go days without speaking to them. I am trying to understand why this is. I don't like hurting people because it only makes me feel worse about myself than I already do. It's like this vicious circle of shutting people out then feeling bad later because I said or did something out of line. I know my avoidance tactics can be kinda excessive often lasting for a week or so. It's not that I have anxiety about talking to people, I don't know what it is.

    I just feel so lost at the moment. There is so much going on currently that it's like I'm being bombarded with information, thoughts and feelings. Meanwhile trying to work and maintain a healthy relationship. I don't know if my symptoms are flaring up again or if I am simply overreacting. Whichever the case, I don't like it. I try to manage my symptoms with therapy and medications but as I've written before I am at risk of losing that which has me very worried. I am also not looking forward to something that I have to do which I know will be very triggering. That has been occupying my mind and making it hard to do anything. I talked about this in therapy but that doesn't seem to be enough. I'm just at a loss right now. It feels like I am going backwards and my life is falling apart again. I don't want to jeopardize my relationship or anything else.

    I just feel defeated and while I may be working towards healing each day, recently things have not been working out in my favor. I hate being so emotionally reactive. I wish I could just act rationally sometimes like other people do. While I could rant about why I dislike my mental illnesses I won't. I just really need some help/encouragement right now. Prayers too please (if you're into that). I just don't want to go down a dark path of self harm again. I am not saying I'll do it, only that I don't want those thoughts to return. We are here for each other. Normally I try to inspire all of you, now I am asking for inspiration from all of you. I appreciate you allowing me to vent. It helps a lot.



    #PTSD #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #SexualAbuse #EmotionalAbuse #help #encouragment #Selfharm

    See full photo

    Are you jealous of your sister? You came from the same mom and dad, so why are you jealous, so what you don't look like each other.

    Sibling rivalries have been going on for years especially when its 2 sisters or 2 brothers. Why does it matter that she doesn't have a zit on her face this week. It might be there next week. Who cares that her boyfriend treats her better. Maybe you can ask her what she looks for in a guy. Why do you care who ask mom for money first? Do you think your mom favors her more and gives her everything she ask for and gives you nothing? Don't go thru life being hateful toward your sister because you were jealous of the relationship she had with your mom. Maybe it's for a reason, maybe your mom feels your sister is weaker than you and you're the strong sibling. So, she doesn't baby you as much. Maybe your sibling has a mental disorder, and your mom doesn't like talking about it and she reaches out to her more because of it. So, try not to sum it up as your mom is nasty towards you and don't love you and you just hate your sister for the rest of your life. Ask questions with a mild tone. You get more bees with honey. So, approach them with a kind sweetheart and see if you get the answers, you are looking for. #ADHD #Autism #bpdworld #quietbpdworld #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression

    3 reactions 2 comments
    See full photo

    Moms have to have a healthy relationship with their sons. Unbalanced mom and son relationships can turn into other situations. Explained below!

    Moms teach their sons at an early age how to respect women. And how to balance out a relationship, she teaches him how women can be a good home maker and still have a certain level of independence when married. Sons see this through is dad and moms actions how the interact. The love they show to each other. Most sons will pick a girlfriend or wife that resembles either his mom or his sister. Through actions or looks. Because he trusts his mom and sister because he understands who they are, they helped him be the man he is today. Moms can tell their sons that they look handsome, but they have to be careful as they age and keep a balance there. It is so easy for a mom to emotionally manipulate her son because he trust her so much. And unhealthy relationship between mom and son can easily turn into emotional incest. You don't want him to be a momma's boy. And that his not fair to the woman he will eventually attract that will end up being either his girlfriend or wife. Because then she has to deprogram him from that twisted cycle that you have him locked into. So, moms have to treat their sons like a man when he gets to a certain age but not let her emotions get involved to the point of him becoming your surrogate spouse. He is not there to sort through your intimate and emotional problems between you and you husband that is distant from you or your ex-husband, you boyfriend. Leave your son out of that scenario. It's unhealthy emotionally. #bpdworld #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #quietbpdworld #ADHD #Autism #Depression #BipolarDisorder

    4 reactions 2 comments
    See full photo

    There should be a very healthy bond between dad and daughter.

    Fathers teach their daughters what to look for in a boyfriend and a husband just by the example he sets. The way he treats her mom, rather the mom and dad are married or divorced. That daughter should still see a certain level of love and respect between parents. That gives her a solid foundation for her upcoming relationships when she gets of age. Moms and dad contribute a lot to the daughters emotional well being. If her biological father is not around. She needs a good father figure rather its family or just a guy that's a good trusted family friend. Mom and friend can hangout to give the child a sense of self to complete the emotional identity that she will subconsciously be longing for. #ADHD #Autism #bpdworld #quietbpdworld #Depression #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

    11 reactions 6 comments
    See full photo

    There should be a very health bond between mother and daughter.

    When daughters decide to leave home, that's not the end of the connection with her mom. She needs her mom in her right corner at all times to ask about her health her characteristics. why this and why that! So a healthy relationship with mom should always be there but both mom and daughter have to be on the same page as well. If daughter doesn't have that bond, she'll either seek out other people to replace that emptiness or just isolate herself. #ADHD #Autism #bpdworld #quietbpdworld #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #BipolarDisorder

    22 reactions 14 comments

    Not a Good Day in Ages

    A Good Day, When? Not in a Long Time


    First part 2019-Second 2023

    I am putting this here because it seems many will be able to relate and know they are not alone concerning physical limitations due to disability and added challenges later.

    Haven’t had a good or even an ok day in over six years. I can say the same for my dear husband, who is with me almost all the time. There's weariness, fatigue, frustration, and pain or discomfort most of the time. Certainly not suicidal, but would not mind going home when the time comes.

    This is from pain, limitations in mobility, reduced independence, and fewer activities (more limitations than I had already due to my disability, cerebral palsy affecting legs. When someone already has a physical disability, any additional mishap or complication affects us more than an able bodied person, for what should be obvious reasons. I used to be more independent and self sufficient, able to live on my own for years.

    These added things started after a broken ankle in 2013 (despite surgery, long inpatient and outpatient therapy, and built up shoe). There's abdominal pain, digestive complications, food intolerances, and more. This also disrupts sleep, so there's never enough sleep. Almost all the time I feel physically terrible to varying degrees. There are no good answers so far, and not for lack of trying.

    All this contributes to worry, stress, some isolation, fewer possibilities for enjoyable activities, like outings, travel. Getting out and about at all is a challenge too. There are changes in relationships with family and friends, in addition to what can happen anytime to anyone (distance, time, changes in people, less in common).

    Every aspect of life is changed and much more challenging. Be careful. Don’t fall. I didn’t plan to write this down or even sort it out like this. Not crying, just the facts. I may not look as bad as I usually feel. I may not look like I am so limited. From my circle of family and friends, I'm not expecting answers, advice, or sympathy, just a bit of understanding of what this is like.


I have the simultaneous conflicting wish to connect and to be left to some quiet time. People tend to ask almost every time we talk, how the ankle is. I know they mean well, but my goodness. Well, same as it's been all this time, healed but not great and one leg still shorter. It isn't going to change. So there I am explaining yet again, that's how that is and that is right now by no means the biggest physical cause of distress and limitation. I am always explain nicely.


    My husband is a worrier and can be dramatic, making things stranger sometimes. Even routine daily matters seem a big deal (whether it is big or small it is the same to him), and he often expects the worst, only later to realize it was't so bad after all. 

I haven't done as much around the house as I used to do, and he does more now.

    He often laments that there is too much to do. Yet, at the same time, I may start to do something that I can or probably can do and he jumps in and says let me do that. It seems to me that most of what he does, he does for both of us, and there would be near the same amount to do if he was alone. He doesn't seem to think so, and says way more than half is for me. This seems quite an exaggeration to me. I do my best not to create more work.

    My worry comes mostly from this: My husband and I are both the same age, older and retired. If something additional happens to either one of us, we could not manage on our own in this home. He might be able to, but not me. I have hoped that my time will come before his for this reason. We have not been able to come up with a plan future living arrangements. I would like to figure things out now, before there is some additional problem or crisis. I need a little personal help. The house and yard is too much for him to care for. I would like to explore independent living options where you have your own place, but don't need to worry about maintenance, cleaning, cooking, and maybe transportation. I am the one who doesn't want to put this off too long. He thinks it's fine for now and we can wait. Also, we can’t forget the current state of our society and of the planet that affects us all.


It is now March 2023. The above portion was written sometime in 2019 and before Covid. In October of 2021 I had a setback after a medical test. This resulted in more medical challenges and significantly more reduced mobility, resulting in more loss of independence. I was in and out of the hospital and rehab and have not improved to my previous level.

    My husband and I moved to Florida and into an assisted living facility last May. I have two siblings here and we didn't have many strong ties in Arizona anymore. The two of them researched several places here and helped us move. We are both having more physical difficulties so things are often quite difficult.. Still no real answers or improvement of my previously explained conditions. I have had some appointments and more coming up, but not soon enough. Several specialty therapy appointments were recently cancelled for 3 weeks due to a flood in the office. They are needed before another doctor can do any procedures he is considering that may help. Another one I need is booked up till June.

    Hubby has been helping me with what I need for the most part, but it is hard for both of us. He can only do so much because he needs hernia repair and we are not getting much help here, despite the fact that it is considered assisted living.

    We had part time home care helpers before moving here. However, that was quite expensive and it made more financial sense to opt for an assisted living facility.

There are things that are unknowable about such facilities until you actually move in, no matter how good it may appear at first. There is a staffing shortage. The apartments are quite small, and smaller than we thought after getting in. They charge too much for what you get in space and in care, in our opinion. We are disappointed for a few other reasons too, but now we feel we have not much of a choice. We sold our home and got less for it than expected, due to bad advice from our first realtor. It took several months to sell. So here we are.

    Everything is now more difficult for us to do not all that long ago. Everything is a giant project and takes forever. Medicare does not cover it. We have money from the house sale, but who knows how long it will last and how long we will last. We feel we have almost no control over our life now. It is my hope that someone will learn and be helped by our experience.


    2 reactions 2 comments
    See full photo

    The binge eating cycle

    #EatingDisorders #EatingDisorderRecovery #BingeEatingDisorder

    All of us eat too much from time to time. But if you regularly overeat while feeling out of control and powerless to stop, you may be suffering from binge eating disorder. Binge eating disorder is a common eating disorder where you frequently eat large amounts of food while feeling powerless to stop and extremely distressed during or after eating. You may eat to the point of discomfort, then be plagued by feelings of guilt, shame, or depression afterwards, beat yourself up for your lack of self-control, or worry about what compulsive eating will do to your body.

    Binge eating disorder typically begins in late adolescence or early adulthood, often after a major diet. During a binge, you may eat even when you’re not hungry and continue eating long after you’re full. You may also binge so fast you barely register what you’re eating or tasting. Unlike bulimia, however, there are no regular attempts to “make up” for the binges through vomiting, fasting, or over-exercising.

    You may find that binge eating is comforting for a brief moment, helping to ease unpleasant emotions or feelings of stress, depression, or anxiety. But then reality sets back in and you’re flooded with feelings of regret and self-loathing. Binge eating often leads to weight gain and obesity, which only reinforces compulsive eating. The worse you feel about yourself and your appearance, the more you use food to cope. It becomes a vicious cycle: eating to feel better, feeling even worse, and then turning back to food for relief. As powerless as you may feel about your eating disorder, it’s important to know that binge eating disorder is treatable. You can learn to break the binge eating cycle, better manage your emotions, develop a healthier relationship with food, and regain control over your eating and your health.

    You can refer to this:

    2 reactions
    See full photo

    Social support moderates stress effects on depression


    Stress, a mental experience caused by demand and failure, is very common in our lives. However, stress may further cause negative emotions, such as depression and anxiety, and may even hinder normal development of the personality and behavior of a person if not properly controlled and responded to. Depression is created through interaction of various factors, including environmental and individual factors.

    After summarizing the results obtained from nearly twenty years of research about the relationship between stress and depression, Kessler indicated that stress is closely related with depression and stress intensity and degree of depression have a dose-response relationship. However, not all people will have depression when under pressure. The depression degree of different individuals varies even under the same stress conditions, indicating that other variables affect the relationship between stress and depression.

    Social support is the care or help from others that an individual can feel, notice, or accept. As an important environmental resource in an individual’s social life, social support affects a person’s physical and mental health and behavior patterns, and has a very close relationship with the generation, development, control, and prevention of depression. A good social support can provide protection for an individual under stress and has common gaining function on maintaining an individual’s good emotional experience.

    You can refer to this:

    2 reactions

    I’m new here!

    Hi, my name is oospringsoo. I’m working through childhood trauma and neglect — working on recovering and healing from several angles while also navigating a relationship and healthy boundaries with my aging, mentally ill mother. I also have #ADHD , and other issues… just looking for healthy support on the journey.

    #MightyTogether #PTSD #ADHD #Fibromyalgia #Anxiety #Grief #EatingDisorder

    5 reactions 3 comments
    See full photo

    Have you ever met a stranger in the store or in the mall and immediately fell in love with either little to no conversation? How often this happens?

    People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing that each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed. Your relationships either seem perfect or horrible, without any middle ground. #bpdworld #quietbpdworld #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder