Relationships

Join the Conversation on
Relationships
65K people
0 stories
28.7K posts
  • About Relationships
  • Note: The hashtags you follow are publicly viewable on your profile; you can change this at any time.
  • Explore Our Newsletters
  • What's New in Relationships
    All
    Stories
    Posts
    Videos
    Latest
    Trending
    Post

    Ending Relationships! Who is to Blame?

    How many relationships have you ended do to toxic behaviors? The family member, coworkers, friends, that have made you feel uncomfortable, not understood, unworthy of love or acceptance? I’m willing to bet that most of us on this site have experienced this. After years of therapy, group and with a trauma therapist, I’ve come to realize that, as unpopular as this is, I am also to blame for the ending of these relationships. I’ve had a long conversation with a former family member that I cut out of my life due to what I perceived as a toxic relationship. I blamed her for most of my self esteem problems and felt that she was one of the causes of my mental health problems. Over Thanksgiving, she took the bold step to try to reconnect with me. I’m grateful that she did. After a long emotional conversation, I’ve come to realize that the people I cut out of my life for being toxic we’re glad that I was gone. They saw me as toxic! The one who was always so quick to judge, who always said they were putting everyone else first, but in reality, that was far from the truth. I know that when I cut these people out of my life I thought they would miss me and regret that I was not there. Just the opposite happened. They were relieved that I was gone. A very hard lesson to learn. Be careful what you wish for. Cutting “toxic” people out of your life isn’t always the answer. Maybe, just maybe, you are the toxic one who has caused a lot of hard ache for people. Maybe you are the one who needs a good look in the mirror. Maybe you were selfish and overthinking everything. I’m forever grateful that my family member was willing to share with me the hard truths and that we can begin to come together. I need to stop blaming others and start looking at their lives and their challenges and how they are trying to be fair. I have a dual diagnosis of Bipolar and BPD. I need to work on not letting my diagnosis define all my relationships as toxic. Hard work ahead but worth it in the end ! #Working towards healing relationships. #self reflection #BPD #Bipolar

    Post
    See full photo

    Beauty of nature #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #Relationships #Hope #FamilyAndFriends #Nature #MentalHealth

    As my Wife and I continue our trek across England and Scotland I am amazed at how good for my mental health being outside has been.

    It’s really cold here, especially as Australia was going into summer when we left. I think being out, amongst nature just might be the cheapest and easily accessible anti-depressant.

    Post

    Help. I'm seeing family.

    Same family problems again.
    Saying no feels impossible.
    They don't until recently value me.
    Me and my mum are too alike.
    We moan too much.
    All I know is at least I'm not alone in these struggles anymore. So many mighties have family dysfunction.
    I have support from a therapist also which helps process the weird relationship with my mother.
    Need to be kind to myself.
    So desire quality decisions right now.
    Thanks. Can anyone relate.

    #Depression #Anxiety

    Post

    Feeling hopeless right now.

    So I have multiple mental illnesses as well as chronic pain, arthritis and fibromyalgia along with many other health issues. I’ve been so depressed that I’m embarrassed by the complete and total mess my house is, I try to tell myself everyday that I’m going to clean and clean everyday all it is, is a lie to myself. My relationship is suffering terribly to the point that we barely talk to each other. We’ve been together for almost 22 years and I feel like he would be better off if he just left. I’m in severe pain and have no medication to take for it. I just want this pain to stop, both the physical and the mental. I know they say that ending your suffering just passes it on to the ones you leave behind and I don’t want to hurt my son. He is what has kept me going for 20 years. I just don’t want to live in all this pain anymore. #sickofbeinginpain
    #Depression
    #anxietyisthroughtheroof
    #embarassedathowlazyIam
    #feelsolost

    Post

    Ending Relationships

    Is there a point in which you cannot save a relationship? A few years ago I cut a family member out of my life, she was abusive and toxic. I tried many times to understand her and be respectful. All the while being emotionally abused. Though I did not know it at the time-until now in which I am dealing with the after effects. One of them being #PTSD . I also suffer from low self-esteem, low self-worth and a lack of self respect. It pains me to realize that I had to do that but I came to the realization she is bad for my mental health. I had to cut her off which used to cause me to grieve. Now, I realize that some relationships cannot be saved. Even if they are family. In families there should be no toxicity and certainly no abuse of any kind. Spoke about this in therapy and learned from my group mates that I need to prioritize myself and advocate for myself. The problem is that it is hard for me. I am so used to put everything and everyone ahead of myself. I operate out of fear of conflict and upsetting people. I want to stop acting out of fear. I know this takes time but it frustrates me that the fear gets in the way. I just want to be able to act from a place of self respect. Remember that it is okay to cut toxic people out of your life, especially if they are being abusive or toxic. Do not let people tell you that you have to tolerate that behavior. It's okay to protect your mental health.

    #EmotionalAbuse #PTSD #Abuse #abusesurvivor #Toxic #Family #Relationships #Healing

    Post
    This photo may contain sensitive content.

    Zero Love & Belonging for me & now my body is continually rejecting me with new diseases too. Pain vs Suffering

    This is my “BEAUTIFUL FAMILY”; My daughter-38 and older husband and his son to the left. To the right, my Diamond, her daughter, then new daughter in law and son (20). I should say my grandchildren, right. When? I had to begin going behind her back to see my Diamond when she is with her father. Then severe Long CoVid caused Dysautonomia, a big car accident where I got off pretty well- except my vision was damaged even more and Dysautonomia made even worse. I fainted every day for awhile. The 20yr old harmed me last & most 2 weeks after his 18th birthday, just a few days before mine. His mother hugged and consoled me. Made him move out. She didn’t come right back as promised. She went tanning for 4 days on a boat with an ex & still blames me 100%— again!
    That beautiful young man I have always loved like my own was raised to hate me once his mom became jealous. He is gone now too. First he cleverly acted to cause me to be deleted from THE family holiday celebration.

    My daughter sent me this photo after Thanksgiving. I had to call truce due to a tragedy in a woman’s life. Still, she avoided me entire month to avoid a conversation about Thanksgiving. She made herself Matron of the family. I am the ONLY adult my age (58) or older who’s child didn’t do something for them to honor them for the holiday.

    It does not occur to her that all I can see is everyone’s joy as long as I am absent. My mom disowned me for being disabled years and years ago, and my sister left drugs finally to take my place with Mom. She even removed every single picture out of the picture albums shoved them in an empty kids chalk plastic container and gave them to my daughter who left them with her ex. He dumped them on my front porch. Imagine that mind bend!! That was who my holiday anchor was until I was disabled and she uninvited me year after year and then nothing.
    Before or maybe not long after the incident with my grandson I directly asked my daughter, “Do I have love and belonging with you?” Her, “What do you mean!!??” I just repeated it palms up. Her, “I don’t know what to say. This feels like some kind of trick.” she said suspiciously. I was aghast. I was on the verge of tears and turning around, “No Blank. It is just that. I want to know if I have love and belonging with you.” And she answered me plainly. “Then No. You don’t.” This has come up and she has never changed it. I suppose I have a relationship because of my Diamond girl and maybe because she reaches out to me and says she loves me because I’m always here for her. Nope. Codependency left the building couple years ago. I have even had her on no contact for my sanity and lost the girl.

    My depression is so deep I can barely take a breath right now. I want to be loved and to know belonging before I die.
    I wake in #Pain everyday. My fourth CoVid caused my #longcovid to go Primal on me. BA.5 is not like the rest, honest. I finally turned to my alternative Dr herbal Chinese Medicine. I have a Master’s in Nursing and know know know that Western medicine might be covered but is also prescribing black label medications for chronic pain without the deep discussion patients deserve. My own mother in law suffered a stroke as a result of this. They added a black box label, but who explains that it even tells people? See-I’m so #angry . So I gotta pay $$$ out of Disability and $$ monthly for livability. From disability have a tea special made for me 3 times a day that controls my chronic pain enough to move in the house and such. It’s great. Still NO ONE understands that #ChronicPain or weakness, or just can’t either. Major #Depression is when I start to cry. Severe Depression is when I stop crying. Sometimes I start thinking and sometimes I stop. It is much scarier if I start. Pain is tolerable, #suffering is not, and #chronicsuffering is the most brutal of all.
    This Grief I bear, of having NEVER had #belonging once I was also #Abandoned by my poor child that I gave all my limited resources to, I died inside. I substantially failed and raised a daughter who is compassion and empathy challenged. I don’t remember being taught to call my grandparents. I didn’t teach my daughter to. My mom is brutal. Oddly, my daughter repeats her and has barely known her?
    My last straw today is a roommate who played the second mom, daughter who loves you, won’t abandon you card. I didn’t buy it. It’s talk. But I thought she could at least be a civil roommate. She walks in and out of the place without a word. Just jumps on that ABANDONED button as hard as she can! Profanity to the Nines! #Profanity #CPTSD #PTSD #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #AgoraphobiaWithoutHistoryOfPanicDisorder #Grief #longcovid #disposable

    I tried. I don’t have words for what’s happening inside me. This is like Anticipatory grief of a hospice patient you know is gonna pass but we keep holding on and loving them just the same. It all makes the body even harder to manage. Thank you, whoever you are.

    Post

    #Depression #MentalHealth #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #motherdaughter
    I read my adult daughters diary.
    Yes I know invasion of privacy 😥
    I should have just let it go.
    She wrote that she thinks I hate her and I am too hard on her. 😥
    I want to have a better relationship with her than my mother and I had/have.
    I guess I have some work to do.

    Post

    Spiraling

    All my relationships are now suffering from my MDD & PTSD. ....

    Post

    Relationships and BPD Rage

    Anger that is intense, uncontrolled or inappropriate can be a devastating symptom for someone who has BPD. They may be driven by a desire to be connected to others, yet loss of emotional control frequently drives others away. In some cases, the level of rage experienced can escalate.

    Post

    How do borderline mothers treat their children?

    Young children with mothers suffering from BPD display “a shameful and incongruent sense of self,” heightened fear of abandonment, and difficulties creating stable relationships