Relationships

I had therapy today; we did IFS. It was hard and I was very dysregulated.

Historically, my mom and I have had a rocky relationship. We are very different in our approaches to things and ways of thinking.
Some of my trauma stems from my childhood. My mom and her husband have been together for a long time- maybe 25 years? Her husband was abusive to me when I was a child and I easily spotted his lies as a teen. Him and I hardly have a relationship and we can’t be in the same room together for very long. My mom didn’t defend me and didn’t see the things he did as abuse until I explained it later to her as an adult who is good at advocating for herself.

I live in Ohio, my mom lives in Indiana. A couple of months ago she told me her husband was cheating on her. She said it but kind of dropped it until last week when she told me again and said she was thinking of leaving him. We talked about it a little bit and I told her to move back home because there is no reason for her to stay in Indiana. I told her she could stay with us since we have an extra room.

She called me about an hour ago. She is leaving her husband in October and moving in with us. We will come up with a plan then.

I am a little concerned because my mom doesn’t go to the doctor, is a tobacco smoker, and also is a heavy drinker. She has experienced trauma but I think she has numbed herself to it. She also struggles with anxiety. It makes me cry when I think of what my mom has had to go through and I wish i could encourage her to go to therapy or AA. She doesn’t want to go to therapy and I don’t think she would go to AA, even if I went with her.

I guess we will see what happens. I hope I can make the best out of it. 😬

#ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #MentalHealth #Agoraphobia #PanicDisorder #CheckInWithMe

In a world that glorifies intelligence measured in numbers, ranks, and titles, we often forget that the most transformative form of intelligence lies quietly within us — Emotional Intelligence (EI). Unlike IQ, which can open doors to education and employment, EI determines how we connect, how we lead, and how we heal — both ourselves and others.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions, while also being able to recognize, influence, and respond to the emotions of others. It is not about suppressing feelings; it is about mastering them. It is not about controlling people; it is about connecting with them.

Psychologists Daniel Goleman and Peter Salovey, pioneers of the EI concept, outlined five core pillars:

1. Self-Awareness – Recognizing your emotions as they arise.

2. Self-Regulation – Managing impulses, stress, and reactions with wisdom.

3. Motivation – Staying resilient and purpose-driven even when challenges strike.

4. Empathy – Stepping into someone else’s shoes and truly feeling their journey.

5. Social Skills – Building bridges, not walls, in relationships and teamwork.

Together, these pillars are the architecture of inner strength and outer harmony.

Why Emotional Intelligence Is Mighty

In the workplace, IQ may get you hired, but EI gets you promoted. In friendships, it builds trust. In parenting, it teaches love without conditions. In leadership, it inspires rather than intimidates.

Research consistently shows that people with high EI handle stress better, resolve conflicts faster, and enjoy healthier relationships. They are not immune to pain or failure, but they possess the resilience to rise, to adapt, and to turn setbacks into lessons.

The Silent Language of Healing

As a doctor, I have seen how medicine alone cannot heal a broken spirit. A kind word, a gentle smile, or a listening ear often does what no prescription can achieve. Emotional Intelligence is, therefore, not just a skill — it is a form of medicine, a lifeline that nurtures hope.

A patient remembers less of what you prescribe and more of how you made them feel. This is the quiet truth of EI: it heals invisibly.

Can Emotional Intelligence Be Learned?

Yes — and that is its greatest gift. Unlike IQ, which stabilizes early, EI can be cultivated throughout life. With practice in mindfulness, empathy, active listening, journaling, and emotional reflection, anyone can strengthen their emotional muscles. It is a lifelong journey, not a destination.

The Call to Action

The mighty among us are not those who shout the loudest or conquer the most. The mighty are those who master themselves, embrace compassion, and build others up. Emotional Intelligence is not weakness; it is wisdom. It is not soft; it is strong.

In a divided world, it may just be the greatest superpower we possess.
True might does not lie in how much we know, but in how deeply we understand and connect. To nurture Emotional Intelligence is to nurture humanity itself.

#Depression
I sit here alone, uncertain about the future, and wondering if I’ll ever escape this sense of being an outsider. I’ve always felt this sense of not belonging or fitting in. I am adopted, and I’ve felt like an outsider most of my life. I yearn for the one thing that is elusive, being a part of and mattering.

My adoptive parents passed away when I was younger, and my adopted brother doesn’t maintain any contact with me. He has his own life/family. I speak to relatives that live far away from time to time. I work from home, so I have no work based friendships. I am in a relationship, but there is no intimacy, communication, or support outside of basic needs. The few friends that have come and gone over the years seem to be short lived, fair weather friends. The world as a whole appears very selfish and shallow to me, and I am filled with sadness in my day to day existence.

I’ve tried medication for MDD, counseling, self help books, and prayed about my situation. Am I missing something?