I'm struggling. My chonic depression has been rearing its ugly head lately. The weather has my migraines and fibro wax and waining almost as regular as the tide with pain levels that barely stay in my tolerance level. I'm pretty sure I have a sinuses infection and I screwed up at work. I've been sick with more viral colds in the past six months than in the last two years combined.
The only reason I made it through the holiday season was because just before they hit I found a sweet and crazy mutt I named Artemis Roo and I am so thankful for her presence in my life.
So as I am sitting here today I feel like I don't know how to go forward. My health is probably at an all time low since before I was diagnosed with my fibro, and now with me messing up at work and getting pulled from my highered postion to a back of the house postion has me wondering if it isn't time to cave and quit being so stubborn. Quit trying to behave like I'm a normal functioning person when I know in my heart of hearts and in my painful daily step that I simply am not and consider looking in to partial disability and moving forward with only part time work.
This mentally kills me, I never wanted my health to define but I think I've come to a point where I'm fighting so hard that I'm starting physically make myself worse which in turn is making my mental health worse, and both are making me more susceptible viral and bacterial issues.
I just don't know what to do, especially because I thought I had it all balanced, but I suppose my body is telling me otherwise.
#ChronicDepression #AnxietyDisorder #Fibromyalgia #mentallyexhusted #physicallyexhusted