chronic depression

I'm struggling. My chonic depression has been rearing its ugly head lately. The weather has my migraines and fibro wax and waining almost as regular as the tide with pain levels that barely stay in my tolerance level. I'm pretty sure I have a sinuses infection and I screwed up at work. I've been sick with more viral colds in the past six months than in the last two years combined.
The only reason I made it through the holiday season was because just before they hit I found a sweet and crazy mutt I named Artemis Roo and I am so thankful for her presence in my life.
So as I am sitting here today I feel like I don't know how to go forward. My health is probably at an all time low since before I was diagnosed with my fibro, and now with me messing up at work and getting pulled from my highered postion to a back of the house postion has me wondering if it isn't time to cave and quit being so stubborn. Quit trying to behave like I'm a normal functioning person when I know in my heart of hearts and in my painful daily step that I simply am not and consider looking in to partial disability and moving forward with only part time work.
This mentally kills me, I never wanted my health to define but I think I've come to a point where I'm fighting so hard that I'm starting physically make myself worse which in turn is making my mental health worse, and both are making me more susceptible viral and bacterial issues.
I just don't know what to do, especially because I thought I had it all balanced, but I suppose my body is telling me otherwise.
#ChronicDepression #AnxietyDisorder #Fibromyalgia #mentallyexhusted #physicallyexhusted

Something that I started doing a few years ago that changed my life was stopping making self-depreciating jokes. It was easier to laugh at myself messing up than it was to just say I messed up (I cope with humor primarily). But I was always so mean to myself when I did it. I’d laugh about how “dumb” I was or how “thoughtless” or how “messed up” I was. But it never actually made me feel better. And it usually made the people around me uncomfortable. Now when I mess up, I turn it around. If I say something incorrect or not appropriate for the situation, it’s not “lol I’m so dumb. No thoughts. Head empty” it’s “oh dang. I should join MENSA” or if I trip or stumble it’s not “lol. I can’t even figure out walking” it’s become “I should audition for the Rockettes”.
I sometimes still slip up, but I’m not mean to myself when I mess up anymore, and it’s had a huge impact on my mental health. #Anxiety #ChronicDepression #ADHD

Well, it’s mid-week and my partner leaves on another work trip tomorrow. It’d be an understatement if I said my mental health was not-so great as of late, especially since January, especially this past week. On top of this, I think I’ve caught the common cold as well, which I know to many isn’t a big deal, but I’m also sure many would agree can exasperate your mental health struggles—especially OCD, for example. Anyway, for context: I went to the ER this week, got told I was “all good” and not admittable (to the inpatient program), literally because I told them I have no substance issues and likely because I had a psychiatrist/therapist team already (which I am incredibly grateful for, don’t get me wrong). It was, overall, a very NOT helpful experience whilst being in crisis, though long story short I had one of my healthcare practitioners intervene a few days later and I believe I will be getting into a day hospital program. Bleh. Chaotic week for a brain in chaos.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this post exactly. Maybe I needed to vent, perhaps I’d appreciate tips or even just support in the upcoming few days as I navigate life without my immediate support (my partner).
I am a 35 year old female who lives with Major Depressive Disorder, GAD, OCD, PMDD and some other fun physical ailments like hormonal migraines and sleep apnea. While I come and go from this platform, I have always enjoyed the sense of community I feel here!
#Anxiety #ChronicDepression #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #Reflecting #MentalHealth #MightyTogether

I’m really struggling with the weight gain I have experienced over the past 18 months
I have put on 25kg and it is really getting me down.
My GP thinks that much of it is medication related as I take venlafaxine at a high dose and mirtazipine.
The excess weight is exacerbating my pain greatly as well as being very detrimental to my mental health.
I feel like I am stuck in a vicious cycle, but I have issues with exercising due to my fibromyalgia, facet joint arthritis and chronic fatigue.
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist next week, is it worth having him overhaul my meds to try and help me, some of the medications I’m taking have serious interaction issues that are concerning my GP.
I just don’t know what to do, and would appreciate any advice- I feel like crying every time I look in the mirror and am starting to retreat into myself again