Parenting with PMDD
As a parent living life with PMDD, it can be diabolically hard. There's days when I cannot stand my children's voices. The sound of the innocent laughter, the shouts of 'mum' slice through me as harshly as the ear piercing sound of glass against a knife & when I'm already at the mercy of my hormones, that are so viciously attacking me in every possible way, it simply only heightens my irritability towards my own self.
I know my children depend on me for love, care, time; they rely quite solely on my existence.
I often find myself disassociating from my children during these PMDD times in order to survive. Time passes, essentials get done, but I have no recollection of the who's, how's, when's or whys.
Its scary losing any sense of time, but its even scarier that its become necessary to keep myself alive.
PMDD takes the best bits of me & leaves me broken, but it has also shown my children a side to life that they may have never gotten to experience.
They've seen real, raw emotions. They've learnt first hand about how menstruation can impact people & they know the signs to look out for in others & how to have those conversations that their friends find awkward & uncomfortable.
They aren't ashamed of my disorder & for that I'm so proud.