Experiencing psychosis in my 30s #Psychosis #PMDD
My wife was recently diagnosed with PMDD, which comes with periods of psychosis. We have been together for 20 years and she is doing very well now that she is on the correct medication. I, however, am struggling. I am trans masc and I have not had surgery (to be blunt, I still possess a uterus). My therapist warned me to watch for symptoms in myself due to that fact. I thought, no way. Not me. But it’s now 5+ months of symptoms right on time. I have been experiencing wildely alarming and uncharacteristic thoughts like clock-work. (Note: I have had periods of this for about a year and a half- right around the time I changed from an SSRI for anxiety to Wellbutrin. The cyclical nature of PMDD makes it very difficult to even connect these periods to any kind of pattern, so we have both been oblivious that I was having symptoms too until she had her diagnosis and was getting treatment.) In the moment, the delusional thinking don’t always sound like a symptom and instead sounds real. My wife typically catches me and points out, “hey, have you seen the date and where I am in my cycle? I start/just started my psych meds.”
This has started to become frightening. I finally met with a new psychologist after my last moved- and it was a bad fit from the start. I felt steam-rolled during the consultation and when I reached out reporting one script he had me on made me feel high and sick because of how much my heart was racing, and the psych symptoms, I was told to just keep taking what he already prescribed and we could talk about the psychosis at our next session in a few months. I terminated our relationship and am now waiting to speak to my therapist next week to be set up with a new psychiatrist.
I’ve never had symptoms like this. I really feel for my wife and how much she struggled with this for so long and she had no name for it or way to explain her behavior. I’m thankful she’s with me every day and so happy that she is finally experiencing relief. This is terrifying. I look forward to getting care in the next few weeks, but for now I’m feeling really shaky on my feet.