powerofhope

I have had anxiety and panic disorder since I was a kid, right after my parents got divorced and I felt that I lost my home foundation. Before all that I was a happy and healthy kid starting school. But after the divorce and the related drama, I no longer felt safe in the world.  Loud noises and repetitive sounds began to distress me.  Traveling to a new town brought up feelings of loneliness, strangeness and anxiety in the evenings. 

In my teens and twenties, I became depressed and felt trapped in life.  The psychologists I went to, when I felt brave enough, were not helpful. They listened to me talk but didn't provide solutions for healing.

Thanks to college as a way out, over the years I have been able to move into new circumstances, worked abroad in different countries, and enjoyed different environments. The was becoming pretty well managed at this point, until I  worked for a bully boss.  As soon as I quit that job, I had the worst panic attack ever.  Then two weeks later, my autoimmune relapse, first health exacerbations, and eventual diagnosis.

I had to get a whole care team together this time.  A doctor, a specialist, nurses, psychologist and psychiatrist. I decided it was time to fight for my health, wellness, and peace of mind.

While I managed my physical and mental  health problems with medications, I  decided that I wanted to find ways to calm my system and stop taking anti drugs.  The psychologist told me that this would never be possible, since it was like I had a natural tendency toward . I disagreed. I remember the healthy and happy child I was, for those four short years. I remember the feeling of safety and joy in childhood.

I sought relaxation through yoga, nature, and meditation. I recently found natural remedies for , and have  been prescription free for almost a month. I listened to myself, trusted in myself and found a way out toward mental healing.

Physical healing is my next challenge. I'm determined to learn how to heal on  this journey. The evidence is out there.

#autoimmunewarriors #MentalHealth #mentalwellness #powerofhope