repression

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Unhealed Trauma

Unhealed traumas

It’s like you bandage your wound

But carry the scars forever

Wounds might heal

Pain stays however

You repress your thoughts.

But hear the voices in your head

Wailing in agony

Every night as you lay in your bed

You could be dancing with the ghosts

The ones who inflicted bruises on your bones

Unhealed traumas

It’s like screaming with no words

That one busy day or a lonely night

Stands there; everything you tried to hide

Knocking at your door

Weeping on the floor

You wanted to smile, but you couldn’t

No more.

It manifests in loud laughter

Or silent cries

When you’re unable to say something

Despite having chaos in your mind

It’s the little moments where you zone out

Or lose track of time

When you cannot remember

What yesterday felt like

I don’t need them

I don’t need you

It’s another way the trauma

Lives in you

Unhealed traumas

Doesn’t come out in big waves

But the tears that you shed

Over the things

That doesn’t really make sense

Or the times you said

You were perfectly fine

But felt empty inside

So when you forgive yourself

for the sins

Then why the mirror

Reflects your guilt?

-wordsbyroha

#repression #unhealedtrauma

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scared of possible new memories # memories #PTSD

the other night, in twilight before waking up, I had what may be memories coming back. it was so frightening and I woke up. I tried to go back to sleep, but it kept coming back in the twilight. that's one thing that makes me think it is/was a memory coming back. it was so exact. I also wonder if my parents knew about the abuse in the possible memories. ...partially because I was never truly left alone with that person again. the person who did the abuse has passed on, so I doubt I'll bring it up to my family, but I do plan on talking about them to my counselor on monday. I just hate it because it means that sleep will not be easy for a while.....AGAIN. This is at LEAST my 3rd set of these coming back....I'm starting to lose track. repression seems to be one of my mind's main coping mechanisms. can anyone else understand? I need to know that I'm not alone right now. #Abuse #PTSD #repression #Anxiety

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