How do y'all #cope with the #Lonliness of chronic illnesses and pain?
I never imagined I would be saying this but I'm so lonely. I'm home 24/7 with my 89 year old mother in law who is belligerent, tells lies and basically inserts herself into every conversation or disagreement. it's not as bad since my husband told her to mind her own business but I don't even feel comfortable in my own home because she's constantly watching me and she will say "so what's wrong today" in a sour derisive tone. And she's like a child. I'm now responsible for making sure she has 60+ pull-ups a month (she wears them constantly) her special grocery requests and then she eats MY food I buy specifically because I have dentures and am limited in what I can eat. I have to handle her docs, rx's, hair appointments, and she refuses to cook unless it's a microwave meal but we banned her from cooking when she nearly burnt the house down. I swear it's like having the worst most stubborn rude tactless and embarrassing child. I NEVER get a break. I can't even use my own washer and dryer half the time. I turned 50 in January WOO HOO and nobody is gonna tell me what how or when to do anything. I haven't seen a doctor since last year and no pain meds but I'm seeing a new #reumatologist tomorrow and crossing my fingers that he will put me back on Benlysta. We've also been struggling for the past four years financially. my husband lost his 6 figure job and the job he took isn't living up to its advertisement. in fact they took away their salary and put them on commission only and since then he brings home $400 a month yes a month and maybe a commission check that's normally less than that if he gets commission at all. they set the monthly quota so high it's not attainable in our rural north Georgia mountain areas. I'm honestly not sure what is gonna happen. It's been building for 4 years and I'm at my breaking point. If I don't get a break just a night out with my sisters, anything I feel like I'm gonna lose it. I'm grateful for my supportive understanding husband and any tips y'all might have to help me stay sane!!!