So, I found this site and I figured I might as well put some of my reasons for being here down. I've made two major attempts and my parents have been telling me to get over it myself. The second attempt was bad enough they called an ambulance and had to take me to a local hospital, everyone took the half-asses answer I gave and never questioned it. I said I was stressed, the truth?

I'm not even sure any more. I can't help but feel empty and no matter how hard I try, when I get angry, it always turns inward. I did something wrong, I said something, I should just stop talking. It always leads to the same thought, 'I should just stop breathing' I'm too much of a burden and whenever I try to tell someone (namely my mom) she tells me it's just teenage angst. That it's all in my head and that I need to just get over it.

Every time I finally lash out and lose my temper, I get a punishment from my step-dad or blame and anger from my mom. Not to mention my little sister isn't much younger than me and she gets so judgemental so when I cry in front of her, she gets mad at me. They don't realize how much they hurt me and I can never manage to tell them because I want them to think I'm ok. I don't want to be more of a burden to them. Even as I type this, I hear a voice telling me that everyone here has gone through so much more than me and need way more help than I do. I'm just being attention needy.

Both my parents don't think I need any help even though my mom takes medication for her issues like her bipolar and her thoughts. I don't understand them but I can't help but love them, no matter what they've done to me.