suicide attempt

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    I’m ok/not ok

    I’m here for my son (my middle child) who tried to commit suicide together with his girlfriend. She died and he survived. He went from being in a coma with a bullet logged in his brain to breathing through then the tube through his trackia. He’s not well mentally, emotionally nor physically and he’s in prison because he’s being charged with her death. My first born died 4 years ago still cannot even see his picture because is too hard for me to handle. My last born is in autism spectrum. He’s high functioning and very intelligent. Even though he’s come a long way from not having any speech and having 4-6 teachers per day in his younger years to graduating with a reagents diploma he’s my rock right now.

    That’s the iceberg of my story. #LosingAChild #SuicideAttempt #SuicideLoss #Depression

    8 people are talking about this
    Kaden M (he/they)

    Milestones as 'Building Blocks' in Recovery From a Suicide Attempt

    I write this story at 4 a.m. because I feel it needs to come out of me, no matter how vulnerable I may feel. I am an “open book” so that I can help others and perhaps so I can free myself from my own demons. January 3, 2022 is a day I will not forget. I never write about suicide. It makes me uncomfortable, despite being a survivor of now four aborted attempts and having been hospitalized nearly a dozen times for depression , bipolar disorder , post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),  o bsessive-compulsive Disorder (OCD) , and anorexia nervosa . I won’t go into the dirty details; there is no point in that. What I will share, though, is what I’ve learned . This latest attempt and subsequent hospitalization was due to a mixed bipolar episode, complex PTSD triggers, and — most significantly in my opinion — an ongoing identity crisis at its peak. I am queer in both my sexuality and gender . I am mentally ill. I am neurodivergent. I am recovering from trauma . And that is OK. It is time for me to accept who I am and therefore cope more appropriately when the pain and episodes do arise. Because bipolar is lifelong, episodes will return. Because c-PTSD is chronic, triggers will recur. Because my identity is stuck with me, I might as well learn to embrace it. I feel as though I truly hit rock bottom on January 3rd, lying in the emergency room with an IV attached to my arm and no visitors allowed (thanks, COVID-19 ). I can only go up from there. I am learning that relapses do happen, and that doesn’t mean I’m starting from square one. If anything, this attempt is a building block from which I will grow and develop into the beautiful human I already am (and am continuing to become). If you took the time to read this, thank you. Thank you times a million.

    Community Voices
    Community Voices

    Surving a Suicide Attempt

    It has been 26 days since I attempted suicide. I woke up in hospital, conversed with the crisis team and subsequently discharged when deemed fit and my observations were stable. Although I have physically recovered, psychologically I’m still a mess.

    It has been confusing, numbing yet extremely painful. When you expected to be gone, to continue existing is a strange, unwelcoming feeling. No one explains the difficulty with surviving a suicide attempt. I have received no professional support and continue to suffer in silence. I had to overcome the physical consequences alone and continue to battle the psychological, to no avail.

    I hope that things will get better, that it will change, but so far it’s been the opposite, and found myself back in hospital.

    I hope the pain stops, I hope that there is meaning to this suffering. I just feel tired, drained, and defeated.

    #Suicide #BPD #SuicideAttempt #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth

    29 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Anxious for news of a possible surgery

    About 5.75 years ago, I was intubated after being placed in a medical coma as a result of a suicide attempt. When they thought I was well enough, doctors removed the tube, but I crashed again. This happened three times which caused severe trauma to my trachea. When I awoke, my breathing was fine. It wasn’t until two months later that I began to struggle to breathe because of scar tissue that had developed. This wasn’t discovered for another two months when it was determined that I needed surgery as soon as possible. The surgeons went in, lasered off the scar tissue from my trachea, and expanded a balloon to help open the airway. At this point, my breathing has again become labored and uneven. I have an appointment tomorrow to explore via laryngoscopy to see if another surgery is necessary.

    Needless to say, I’m a bit anxious.

    The worst part of all of this is that I’ve made a complete 180 since that time in my life. My job still sucks, but I have an amazing husband and a beautiful home. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, yet here I am with a reminder of my misery and darkest struggles. I’m afraid that this surgery will be on repeat every 6 years for the rest of my life, and a constant reminder of the hell that was my life.

    #trachea #trachealstenosis #SuicideAttempt #intubation #lifesupport #Surgery #Bipolar #Depression

    3 people are talking about this
    Community Voices

    Surviving: Made To Battle

    <p>Surviving: Made To Battle</p>
    Community Voices

    Suicide survivor

    I was found unconscious from an OD 5 days ago. Guess someonen found me snd called police and ambulance. I’m upset that my plan didn’t work. I undeestsnd my familys releif when they got the call I was gonna be ok. Currently in pysc ward of the hospital.
    But when I go home how do I face them. What so I say? Thet are going to look at me differently and ask questions like why would you do such a thing!
    Any advice/thoughts on this. Thanks
    #SuicideSurvivor #SuicideAttempt
    #BPD #Depression

    4 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    Community Voices

    What if?

    I find myself wondering a lot about the ‘what if’. I took a promotion and was so unhappy for a year I nearly took my own life due to how bad my mental health was.

    Currently, I’ve started a new job (almost finished my first week) and am happy. I know that there isn’t a perfect job out there, but this isn’t bad as far as jobs go. This being said, I’ve found myself wondering what would have happened had I not accepted the promotion and was moved away from the team and building I was use to. If things would have gotten as bad as they eventually did or if other things would have happened to push me to resign. Or would I still be there and have been happy-ish.

    I wonder…

    #s #SuicideAttempt # #Depr #Depression #MajorDepression #Anxiety #Suicide

    2 people are talking about this
    Community Voices
    A

    Final admittance

    Today, when reaching out for help, I finally put my thoughts onto paper- “I am going through a mental health crisis”.

    These last few days have been hard. Too hard. I’m burnt out, my mind is a mess, I have too much going on and I’m not coping. My appetite has gone again, my mind is constantly running, and I can’t even force a smile anymore.

    It’s coming up to the 4th anniversary of when I tried to take my own life, and when my chronic pain started. It’s going through my mind all the time. Along with my mind processing the news given to me months ago- that my depression is treatment-resistant.

    I know I’ll live through this, but it’s just so hard. The odds seem to be drastically against me. I’m just thankful to have my friends there for me.

    To add to my stress, my prescriptions didn’t get transferred over to my new GP surgery. And they don’t have any appointments available until about a week before I will run out of medication which leaves me very concerned and worried.

    At the moment I’m not feeling well physically either. I had my second covid vaccination yesterday and my arm is very painful, my muscles ache, I had a headache and I just generally feel unwell. My back also decided to hurt a lot earlier.

    #Depression #Anxiety #MentalHealth #ChronicPain #Pain #SuicideAttempt #Suicide #MentalIllness #ill #Vaccine #burntout #MentalHealthCrisis

    3 people are talking about this